Dr Shiza Habib
Posted December 1, 2020 from Pakistan

So sorry for the lack of coherence in my stance but I feel  this so I jot this down.And,If,Somebody doesn't  speak ,He might know it will never going to make any difference..its always not the very moment when a person started to scream,there is something  behind,something big...some fear...some complexes.....but we are so called sympathetic how dare we come up with the solution without putting our feet in someone's  shoes....They dont want to share definitely...We are only tongue  and mouth waiting in a row for our turn to speak....bcz our capibility of listening is over....And the reaction are never  sudden ...there are undefined things ...blurry wars....vague love and much more.....There are ceaseless battles inside them from the past or in the very moment.....And the reactions are never sudden....SUICIDE is not sudden. .A person who wants to commit suicide  ends up died mentally,before ending up dead physically....The world says there is a solution to every problem...BUT IS IT REALLY??????

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Nini Mappo
Dec 01, 2020
Dec 01, 2020

Hello Dr. Shiza,
Thank you for raising awareness about the gradual deaths that suffocate hope and joy of living little by little, until, when they have consumed everything, life becomes meaningless and suicide seems like a savior. Sometimes there is a solution, but it isn't accessible to the one who needs it. I hope that the person in the story experiencing despair finds someone who will listen without judgment, and help them remember their worth, beauty, purpose, and that sometimes when all you can do is breathe, even that is purposeful living.

I hope that we'll learn to listen more, judge less, ask useful questions instead of instructing, and bring a little healing here and there. It can make all the difference. All the best in your work.

Karen QuiƱones-Axalan
Dec 01, 2020
Dec 01, 2020

Hello, Dr. Shiza,

How are you doing? I know what it feels when the call of death is so enticing that it seems to be the only thing to do to relieve the inward pain. I have suicidal ideation when I battle with depression. That's why it's important for those around a person dealing with suicidal thoughts to listen and empathize. It's hard enough for that person to express what's going on inside. It's different for each person.

You are right with this, " how dare we come up with the solution without putting our feet in someone's shoes". Empathy, putting ourselves into someone's shoes, is a huge help and LISTEN, not advice. Just listen. Be that safe space when a person is allowed to express what he/she feels.

Suicide is not the answer. Studies show that families and friends of those who committed suicide will spend years of their lives in agony and pain, blaming themselves for what they could have done to prevent the suicide from happening. If someone is thinking that suicide is the answer to end all the pain and to stop being a burden to other people, that is not the case. They will be left with sorrow and self-blame for the rest of their lives.
Dec 01, 2020
Dec 01, 2020

Dear Sister Dr. Shiza,
There are no concise or clear answers for someone in suicide mode. A suicide attempt is an outcry. The suicide death gets passed onto the living to endure. No one can be an expert on anyone's situation. But if the moment presents itself, that person can move onto the next moment. One moment at a time. I have family, friends, colleagues, worship members that don't know each other, but they have this in common. Taking not one day at a time, but one moment at a time. Sometimes medicated. Sometimes counselled. Sometimes with nothing, sometimes alone, sometimes with someone. There are no clear and concise answers, and there are so many answers. There is a solution to everything if you believe it. There are no solutions if you believe it. "HOPE" provides a neutral territory in between both residences. Hope is the ledge on a cliff. Hope is the mattress of a fall. Hope is neither here, nor there. It is an offer of peace with oneself and the troubles for a while. Hope doesn't require a commitment or any decision. Hope is a repreve, respite and a shelter. Hope is something that I would offer and bank on as an answer. Even if it is only for just a moment, in order to get to the next moment.
Huge hugs...JoMarie

Dec 02, 2020
Dec 02, 2020

Hi Dr Shiza,

The word suicide itself is hard to define because there is emotional memories to it.

Is there a solution to every problem? It depends on how you see the problem. But let not suicide solve it. Every living things on this world has purpose. Perhaps the problem is the solution of the problem itself.

I agree with Nini when she said that it makes a difference when we learn to listen, judge less and heal there and here.

As Karen mentioned, it will leave agony and pain to families and friends.

Jomarie answers HOPE.

While we breath there is hope.


Paulina Nayra
Dec 23, 2020
Dec 23, 2020

Dear Shiza,
Is there a solution to every problem. Perhaps. When we are pushed to the wall, the thought of taking our own lives seemed to be the quickest solution. BUT, there is always a way out. I am not religious, though, and have proven time and again that prayer helps. I call on Waheguru, Yahweh, Allah, Lord Shiva, Buddha, Jesus and Mary , whoever may have an open line for me. Looking at our resources within- our intellect, ability to love and the gift of life itself. Thinking that there are people that in worse conditions who are grateful for being able to wake up alive the next day. And realizing that my life can still be meaningful when I devote my time and talent in the service of those who have less. And the problem might just take care of itself. Perhaps.
Thank you Shiza for sharing this story.
Take care.

Dec 30, 2020
Dec 30, 2020

Hi Dr. Shiza,
Like my sisters Nini, Karen, Joemarieb, Pauline and Maeann, I add my voice to assure that suicide is not the answer. I agree with you that "suicide is not sudden" though, it does begin from within. However, we see, feel and hear you. No one needs to die internally, because indeed, there is an ideal answer to every problem.

'Great that you have raised this issue. Thank you for sharing. Keep writing, Sis. It's therapeutic.

Love and hugs,
E. J.

Mar 14
Mar 14

your insight into suicide makes sense but our hope is that more services can be available to reach those suffering emotionally and mentally. These services are still so scarse today and yet we need this more today for the hurting world