Letter from my heart to my Daughter on International Day of the Girl.

Dear Victoria Ndileh(Peace),

 I see so much strength, energy in you. Whenever I look in your eyes I see stars glittering from afar. From the first day I held you in my hands, I knew you were born to make a difference. In your generation, I know you will stand out, not just because you are beautiful, but because you are fearless. At age 2 I see how you embrace the world and people around you. I see how protective you are with your family. I hope I was this energetic when I was your age.

When you smile i see hope for women even in the midst of an imbalanced and misogynistic world. Believe that you are strong and powerful. And you can do whatever you put your mind to. When I look in your eye i see a creative mind, that is willing to explore and discovery beautiful things that will inspire others. Always remember that not everybody will believe in your dreams, but you should be your number one fan and chair leader. Celebrate successes because nothing is too small nor too big to celebrate. Celebrate yourself because you are enough. Sometimes you will do stupid things or don’t even understand what you saying, it's okay laugh during those moments and embrace your flaws.   

You are not flawless, even mummy has so many flaws. But these flaws are part of you and it’s what makes you unique and different from the rest. Own up to your mistakes and excesses. Apologies when it is the right thing to do. But don’t be apologetic about who you are and what you will be. Be who you want to be, and do whatever you want to as long as you are being good to people, you are perfect.

Am so proud of you. I see myself and more in you. Growing up as a young girl, I saw strength in my mum’s hard work and I wanted to replicate and transfer such strength to you. I hope I did. Your mummy always has an incredibly way of reminding herself and loved ones that there is always beauty to be found in life. She cannot deal with liars and hate when someone abuses her trust. She can immediately tell when someone is not being honest. So be honest, say yes to what you can do and no to what you cannot. When you are dealing with people remember yes is yes, and no is no. Please don’t mix the two.

Hold other girls/women in high esteem like valuable gem. They are your allies not enemies. If you want to succeed in this chauvinistic world, you have to master the art of being a girl/woman with a thicker skin. Be a girl who knows what she wants and try to get it the right way. I pray you get the confidence and courage to stand up for what you believe in. There will be times when you will be scared to fail or take the next move. But please look for strength within to inspire yourself to keep moving. Don’t compare yourself with anybody, because every shiny girl you see has a story to tell. Be inspired by other’s successes but don’t be jealous.

My mum was denied the opportunity to get education. In her era, girls were supposed to be in the kitchen. That was her biggest regret, but nevertheless she didn't allow that to get in the way. She was so industrious, she sold anything she can to make hands meet for her family. I respect her hustle. Despite, uneducated she fought her way through and she was so intelligent to the point that she monitors our academic work even without an education. She made the way for me and you, so cherish her memory.

Growing up as a girl it was so hard for me, I wasn’t confidence and lack self-esteem. The society made it so hard for girl like me to thrive. It was so impossible to overcome this norm in my society, girls were meant to always be behind but myself and other women fought our way through and the fight still continues. My insecurities were the heaviest burden I had to bear. So please pay attention to your insecurities. They are not there to taunt you but to show you where to heal.

I have been broken left to bleed and die by so many people who were supposed to love and care for me. So walk away from people who put you down, walk away from a fight that will never be resolved, walk away from trying to please people who will never see your worth. Because the more you walk away from things that poison your soul, the healthier you will be.

In love, I hope you fine someone who never makes you question your own self-worth. I hope you find someone who chases your happiness as much as theirs. I also hope you fine someone who supports you in the things you are passionate about. May you find friends and people who laugh and sit with you in silence and share your deepest secret with. When you search for people to hold dearly, look for people who reminds you that you deserve the love you give.

 Growing up, I worried about who dislikes me because I was scared to step on people’s toe. Please don’t be, just focus on the things that are most important in life. If they love you, love them back. If they support you, support them back. If they hate you don’t care, life goes on with or without them. Don’t hate back baby. You glow differently when you are not hating, hurting, bitter, miserable or messy.

 If they say you are aggressive it means you are being assertive.  If they say you are being too difficult it means you are telling the truth. If you asked hard question, they will call you awkward you are not my dear, they just can’t handle you. So keep taking space, haters won’t like it but you will inspire other young girls to do more. Keep an open mind, you will learn so much if you do. Proud of the person you will turn out to be because I am proud of you. I believe and your dreams.

In my journey I overcame things that thought could have killed or destroy me and I believe you will do more. Fight for courses that you believe in. Go to school, pay attention, don’t give up easily. But remember that your grades don’t define your intelligence. You have the right evolve to your fullest possibility. So don’t see anybody as lesser person than you are. The most important thing is; you blossom to the fullest human being because other people’s destinies are tied to you.

Guard your heart with love and peace because when you come of age, other girls/women will look up to you for advice and guidance. Take care of your behavior and character towards others, so that everybody who comes in contact with you, will finds the fullest expression for their lives. The best way to achieve in life is to be yourself and do you. Don’t feel that you are better than anyone. Let the world feel your worth through your spoken words and deeds.

Be like a fire, beautiful to watch but dangerous to mess with. Mix unconditional love with your fearlessness and you will be hard to contend with. Write a note to someone special, donate to charity, do random acts of kindness, tell people how much they mean to you, tell a joke to someone, give compliments to people, the world needs such caliber of people. You are the in charge of your life, so fire, hire and promote people accordingly. Finally, don’t let anybody make you cruel, no matter how badly you want to give the world a taste of its own bitter medicine, it is never worth losing yourself. Be a girl/woman that makes feminism a course to reckon with. And wherever I am, I will be cheering for you. Am so proud of you.