WHEN COVID -19 GIVES FAMILIES AND MARRIAGES LEMONS: HOW CAN WE MAKE LEMONADES!!!

EK. Chemorion
Posted April 13, 2020 from Kenya

There is a saying, I am not very sure how it goes, but it has words like, 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!' help me know how we can do this here. Considering the speed at which Covid-19 Virus spreads, and in the spirit of bending the curve through social distancing, many countries have asked their citizens to stay home.

The policy of Stay home means families, spouses, individuals, communities, and societies stay in places familiar to them where the move from when they go out and where they return in the evening or night. Homes shared with familied, friends or acquaintances. Spaces characterized by good memories and good food and care and concern, but also spaces children and some women have never known peace, hardly have a meal, or stay for more than five minutes without being bullied, bartered, killed, or send out in the cold.

So, telling people to stay at home without addressing the cultural, social, psychological, economic, political and human factors that impact people emotionally spiritually, psychologically does little to help these families so vulnerable in the face of the Merciless Covid-19. Covid-19 has brought about Lemons of all types of shapes, colors in families and marriages globally. Who will help the families make lemonades to survive the Stay Home???

From UK, CNN, and other media from parts of the US and around the world, in 2020 with Covid-19 and stay home makes people, particularly women living with abusive spouses are in great distress.  Couples have retreated to individual spaces, when life had given them the we space characterized by hugs, kisses, and sharing of a bed. I quarantine, this is not possible. Not even seen the other fully with face masks.

And who is looking at the needs of children who cannot comprehend why they can’t have their freedom to play? How they must listen when told not to greet, of stay close to their dear friends? They too have been impacted. They need a person, patient enough to help verbalize safety requirements, but also help children to process the negative emotions that come with adjustments.

Who is helping parents with parenting burnout? This is true, especially in systems where children in colleges, schools and universities stay longer in institutions per year then they do stay at homes?

Our teenagers are not spared either. Stay home when hanging out with friends means the world to our young people must feel like a tall order. Can we have youth friendly parenting that can help them process and utilize the home space safely. Peer mentality in the

And yet we have people who had earlier on mad plans to get married. The world has seen new marriages, where spouses have rushed to get married with 15 people when they had budgeted for 400, because of social distancing, the law could allow a small gathering. People have gone as far as marrying via zoom with appropriate social distancing. Others may have cancelled due to fears of safety and not being sure of what life will mean for them.

And there are also those families that have lost loved through the virus and staying at home without that loved one brings a lot of negative feelings to those left behind. Some have buried, others are yet to and yet many more fears losing family or friends too.

 

Yes as sisters, whether single, married, professional, educated or not, mother, grandmother, a good human being, we can make lemonade out of the Covid-19 Lemon. We being with ourselves doing selfcare. By being aware of negative thoughts, emotions, and decisions we are making when we have people around us 24/7, in an unknow time span. We can then be aware of other unusual negative actions or behavior of others around us and offer help. We can notice intolerance from communications through media posts of our friends and give them shoulders to lean on. We can then share with the world in our connections to;

Remember, these are unusual  global challenges and  times are different just from what we are accustomed to

Make communications as clear as possible, and listen out to feedback and other's communications

Nurture dialogue in families and with people outside our family circle

Be sensitive and Understand the negative impacts to others near you

Balance between the home office, personal life  and family life

Remain intentional in connecting with others who may be vulnerable and have no one to reach out to them

Share the love with the unloved, the hurting , the bereaved,  the fearful and give them HOPE

Invite God, Allah, the ultimate being to journey with us during these un-precedented times.

Know that it is only for a while, soon or later, things will also change. So we remain positive and fight negativity from within and without by all means.

 

Comments 11

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Hello, dear sister,

You are right. Cases of domestic violence are rising due to this lockdown. In Wuhan, China, a lot of coupled filed a divorce after their quarantine period.

You raised valid questions. Thank you for concluding your post with a message of hope.

Interestingly enough, because you mention lemons and lemonades, coincidently, this fruit and the rest of the citrus family are recommended as prevention for the virus. Even COVID-19 patients are advised to drink lemon with hot water. It strengthens our immune system.

Thanks for sharing, dear sister. Please stay safe and stay healthy!

Tamarack Verrall
Apr 14
Apr 14

Dear EK,
Funny, that same saying about lemons, make lemonade i remember from my girlhood and it is still said often here. So apt n the times we are living in these days. Your post is full of the effects we need to be aware of, and some great advice for how to get through this as members of our own communities, and as members of this global community. Thank you for laying out the now common problems, with such loving solutions.

Kabahenda
Apr 14
Apr 14

Sister Ek,

Thank you very very much for this eloquent exposition of the problems facing individuals, families, and communities because of the CODIV-19.

Thanks you too for the motivational message of love and hope. Indeed these two are powerful healing forces and we should all try to use them.

Keep these messages coming, and I hope that you are disseminating this message to many people in your community. All the best to you.

Anita Shrestha
Apr 15
Apr 15

Thank you for sharing

Thelma obani 2020
Apr 15
Apr 15

Thanks for exposing the plight of families and women. We all pray for them to voice out,seek help and for the pandemic to leave us all

Anita Kiddu Muhanguzi

Dear Sister,
Thank you so much for reminding us that even life hits you so hard you need to find a way of looking at the brighter side no matter what. It is sad indeed that the rate of domestic violence has increased in many communities and many countries. Many women are faced with violence and no access to justice or some kind of relief. We need to come up with mechanisms and solutions for these women and children.
Hope you are staying safe and staying home.
Have a blessed weekend.

EK. Chemorion
Apr 17
Apr 17

Thank you sister. I am home and safe. we try the much we can to reach out. we also pray for them and link them to people who help them further.
we remain in sisterhood!

Busayo Obisakin
Apr 17
Apr 17

You are right my Sister! The frustration of been incapacitated of the men were vented on their wives. Women are the receiving end of domestic violence at the time of this lock down. Yes we should what we can do to send messages of hope
Thank you for this piece
Love
Busayo

EK. Chemorion
Apr 17
Apr 17

What are sisters for other that being shoulders to lean on. we keep others hope, as we educate our men not to use women as punching bags. They are human. They need to be treated with dignity.

Chi8629
Apr 20
Apr 20

Thank you for sharing .Blessings

lizzymark
Apr 22
Apr 22

Hmmmm,its not an easy one.We are keeping faith and trusting that all this will be over soon and we can find light at the end of the tunnel.

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