If only men understood consent....

Ellen Tamatey
Posted September 30, 2018 from Ghana

I had always seen my home country as safe, from robbery to rape.... Well, I was wrong. Life in the University has brought me many experiences and that includes multiple sexual assaults. From the people I trusted to those I barely knew. What is even more frustrating is the fact, these men don't see anything wrong with forcing themselves on others or taking advantage of others while inebriated. It is very sad to think that these highly intellectual men that I mostly find myself with do not know consent. They simply  don't understand it. As a young woman, I feel like society has failed me and others. Society creates the atmosphere that make men feel entitled to female bodies, society has given men the mentality that sex is a way to break a woman or own her. Men that I have met are always with the excuse that "men are dogs" and hence have decided not to control their feelings or think about who their actions are hurting. I would really be happy if we could launch a campaign to educate people especially males on consent.

This story was submitted in response to The Future of Security is Women .

Comments 8

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Jill Langhus
Oct 01, 2018
Oct 01, 2018

Hi Ellen,

Thanks for sharing your post. Yes, when men use phrases like that it enables their behavior rather than taking responsibility for their behavior and having the intention to change it. What sort of educational campaign do you have in mind? Will you be the forerunner of this campaign? What would it take for you to realize and execute this campaign? I'm eager to hear what you have to say:-)

Good luck with your submission!

emma matondang
Oct 03, 2018
Oct 03, 2018

Yes Ellen.
I experienced that myself. Men mostly seeing women like fast food ready to be served. I will join the campaign to educate the men how to behave. Though I found some gentlemen who was very nice treating their woman. I wonder how can we hear from those gentlement to teach their bad fellows?

Ngala Nadege
Dec 12, 2018
Dec 12, 2018

Thanks for sharing

Lisbeth
Dec 19, 2018
Dec 19, 2018

Great speaking out. Wish you the best on your submission.
Regards

Beth Lacey
Feb 12
Feb 12

Your suggestion to launch a campaign to educate is a good first start.

Adanna
Feb 28
Feb 28

Dear Ellen,

Thank you for sharing. I think it is a nice idea to launch a campaign to educate people especially males on consent. I'm sure many people will benefit from it.

Cheers,
Adanna

Jacqueline Namutaawe

Hi Ellen Thanks for this. It is very wrong for men to think that they have ultimate access to any woman's body anywhere.

Urmila Chanam
Apr 14
Apr 14

Dear Ellen,

Thank you for writing on 'consent'; I believe men/boys do know consent is needed before intimacy and if they make it appear they are entitled, its just a propoganda. That is what patriarchy is all about. What is needed is to work on ushering in equality, nurture 'women's voices' and form supportive groups. Keep writing and keep marching ahead.

Love always,
Urmila Chanam,
India