Bloody panty

Emeteh Melvis F.
Posted August 7, 2017 from Cameroon

Aging means growing old or getting older. I am 31 years old and can say a big congratulations to myself for the numerous advancements and change of mentality I had as a teenager. As I grow old, I derive answers to many of my unanswered questions that keep bordering me when I was a teenager.

When I was tender, I had never heard about menstruation, though I used to see some matured girls in my class have blood stains behind their uniforms. I had a conclusion that they have excreted bloody but did not clean their bombom, as small as I was I always insulted them that "dirty old mothers".

The bloody panty night was a mistery for me till my Biology teacher explained. That night, I was very deep asleep and felt a stomach disorder but didn't get up to complain to my mum. I finally got up in the morning and saw blood on my pant. I stayed in the bedroom for hours trying to reflect if I had nature's call over night but did not clean my bom bom. My mum enter the room and I burst in tears. On an interview she say blood on my dress, she understood immediately what was keeping me in the room. She told me that as I have seen it, I will get pregnant if any boy seats by me or deres to touch me.she gave me a clean towell to use as " support" as she called it.

When I reached school I refused seating down because my bench mate was a boy. When my male teacher enter class, he saw me standing up and asked why I was up I said nothing. He walked near me and I ran out of class, my fear was that caming near me means pregnancy.I could not stay in school that day because I became very worried. I finally had a seat in class the following day with one of my female friends. I had nothing to do with any boy in my school till I had a lesson on menstruation. After the lesson, I had a change of mentality because I had an understanding of what menstruation was all about.

Also when I was twenty, my mum always tells me that my going to school was in preparation of being a good cook for my husband. I was made to understand that my dad did not send me to school because since we were many in my family, my father sponsored only male children. My mum took the challenge sending me to school but then her reason for this was for me to be a good and submissive wife to my future husband.

But when I grow old I have came to know that education is a fundamental right of every human, boy and girl alike. In addition my mum's intention of sending me to school was cancelled when I took a First Degree Program in Women and Gender Studies at the University. After year one, my mind and heart was completely transformed and I had a different sense of reasoning as well. This was the moment I began to cancel all informal education I had as I grew up.

I now know that education is a right for all humans. Marriage is not a bondage as I understood it to be, as a woman I have been able to shape my marriage to suit what I want and what I am looking up to. I have shaped a marriage of free decision, no classification of house hold chores as being the woman's sphere of influence as I knew it to be. Instead my husband fines pleasure in doing all these chores, cooking is not my sole responsibility, rather any of us that is chanced does it.

Hello young people, be courageous and ambiguous, knowing what you are up to and having your vision will build a world of milk and honey for you when you grow old. You need to work out your freedom, rights and dignity as a woman from your very tender age. As you get matured and intend to marry, don't accept what you know will ruin your rights as a woman in the future because if you do, you are just mainly digging a bottomless pit where you will find yourself in years to come. Remain pushfull, educated, courageous and fulge ahead till your voice is heard, then you have brought a great change in your society.

Aging is a London full of all good things, provided you worked for it when you were still a teenager.

As a woman, no matter the age you can be as a supporter for one another and a change maker. Being an aging woman you can share your experience as a young girl to world pulse, your society or any other media to educate the young girls as they grow up. You can as well share your challenges you went through as a young girl so that others will learn from your lesson. As a girl, sharing what you are currently facing or the worries you have about your gender in this forum and in your community will do much to empower you as you grow up. Sharing will put you in contact with someone with a similar case who can help you out.

This story was submitted in response to Aging.

Comments 13

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Nakinti
Aug 07, 2017
Aug 07, 2017

Dear Melvis,

Your menstruation story resonates with me. I have an even sadder story about my first blood. Thank God education came to clear our minds of misconceptions. I am proud of how far you have gone with empowering your self. Keep doing more.

Sending you love

Nakinti

Emeteh Melvis F.
Aug 12, 2017
Aug 12, 2017

Hello mumy Nakinti, I am really greatful for the emergence of education cos it has done me much

Lindy2016
Aug 11, 2017
Aug 11, 2017

Hello!

I love your brutal honesty and your courage to build a life for YOU and not just based on being a wife and mother. I was only 9yrs old when I began to menstruate; it was quite a shock! My circumstances were different from yours, yet I could still identify with what you expressed about the cultural traditions and standards for girls and how you used opportunities and education  to form a new way of thinking about being a healthy, productive member of society. Keep writing and sharing; many will be interested in your stories. 

Emeteh Melvis F.
Aug 22, 2017
Aug 22, 2017

Hello lindy, I must confess that informal education, if not carefully given by parents can ruin young girls.thank God for formal education that has cancelled some of us. Thanks for your encouragement

Sally maforchi Mboumien
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 23, 2017

Hello Melvis glad you are doing something to make a difference in the area of girls' education and empowerment. Menstruation as a taboo subject in our communities reminds a burden to young women who experience it without any prior information.

Emeteh Melvis F.
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 23, 2017

Hello mumy sally, menstruation is a natural phenomenon, which if not well informed on how to handle when it showcase, could be very disgraceful. Menstrual hygiene and sanitation is needed in most of our societies. Creating awareness is not enough, rather, teachings on how to handle and put it under control is a call for concern.Thanks for the encouragement

Emilandy
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 23, 2017

Hello Melvis,

Nice one on menstruation. Formal education has helped a lot to prepare the mind set of young girls before menstruation. Before most young girls like myself were caught by surprise on the first day of menstruation and many handled it in a funny way all due to ignorance. I don't know why parents were scared to inform their daughters before time but sadly it is still the case with some parents today.  More needs to be done on this issue.

Emeteh Melvis F.
Aug 24, 2017
Aug 24, 2017

Hello Emilandy, thanks for your encouragement. Indeed much needs to be done because most girls still don't know how to manage their period without stains

Florence Ngah
Aug 24, 2017
Aug 24, 2017

Hello Melvis, you sound interesting in your story. I admire your works reasoning  and achievement both in your matrimony and in the society a large. It is said " as you make your bed, so shall you lay on it". You prepared a good bed through your education which be came an eye opener to all your doubts  and impressions about marriage. Now you are sleeping on that good prepared bed which is your matrimony. May we all continue to help and support other women through this platform and other mediums with our experiences in order to change our tomorrow. Thanks Florence Ngah

Melody Ndzenyuiy Epse Kwaven
Sep 24, 2017
Sep 24, 2017

Hello Melvis, thank you for sharing your story. so many girls especially in rural areas in Cameroon are going through this situation. Sometimes girls even know what to do but cannot afford sanitory pads. Other times our girls struggle with hygiene during menstruation. Voices like ours are still needed. Help must not be huge. Sometimes we women can forgo expensive hair do and artificial nails and eye lashes and rather help adolescent girls with pads. 

Amal Patricia Stifoni
Sep 26, 2017
Sep 26, 2017

I am glad you are doing such a great job. Well done! really, And the best still to come for sure. My best wishes and all support for you :) Please, feel free to contact me. I wish I could contribute with any of my skills, We can make a better world united. 

https://www.facebook.com/abc3311

Sister Zeph
Sep 27, 2017
Sep 27, 2017

Great lady and great message to the young women, aging is a very good thing because as we get older we get answers of our questions as you got.Thank you for writing such a beautiful piece 

Anjana Vaidya
Mar 29, 2018
Mar 29, 2018

Dear Melvis, Thank you for sharing your experience of being so weak to empower. you are right the experience can be useful to the younger generation. Good luck

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