Never Give Up.

Emeteh Melvis F.
Posted September 7, 2017 from Cameroon

Failures and disappointments make one feel like stopping any intended adventure.Ending at the juncture of disappointment makes you ordinary, but being determined to fulge ahead after the numerous disappointments makes you extraordinary.

I hail from a polygamous home with seven wives and being a chieftaincy setup, my dad did not see it a necessity sending his female children to school. Reason not being inadequate resources but cultural believes. It is believed that girl children are other peoples property since she will one day get married and so will belong to a different family, so investing on her is wastage of resources.Education, being a fundamental right of every child was denied by my dad to me.

My mum took up the challenge to educate me through primary. My elder brother took over from my mum to university. While at the university, I lived with my step brother since my elder brother sponsored the two of us. The disappointment came when I was in my second year. This my step brother blackmailed me to my elder brother and he stopped taking care of me. I was very certained my brother will see me through my education but he failed me.My numerous attempts to explain myself to my elder brother failed and he kept calling me cheap prostitude. Considering the financial demands of my course, I thought of suspending my studies because the only person that would have supported me at the time was my mum who was very sick and had been in the hospital for more than two months. I knew that informing her about what I was passing through was just to reduce her days. I got a voice in me that said Melvis you can make it, don't give up because if you do, it will mean your mum's affort has all gone in vain. I thought of a friend and went to borrow 20000frs from her then started to fry and supply peanuts. This was how I got myself through my second year.

My final year came when I had worked hard during holidays. I sold cooked food, just to prepare myself for the next school year. When classes resumed, I had my school fees and even 100000frs as left over. I left to school to pay my fees, on coming back my step brother had collected 85000frs from my money I left in my bag. I cried my eyes out, I asked him to give back my money but he told me he has taken it to add to house rents, likewise my brother had paid the rents already. I became frustrated, disappointed but no one to report to. I had a second thought of abandoning school but that same voice said to me, you still have 15000frs left, you can still cope with the peanuts business and take care of yourself.

I wiped my eyes, though it wasn't easy just to let go, I went to the market same day and bought the recipe for the peanuts. I did the supply and could care for myself as well as my handouts were always baught on time.

Finally when the graduation list came out my name was there but that my step brother did not make it. He had to came back for reseat, he still did not make it and so had to spend another year at the university.

Today, I can say my disappointment has turn to my appointment because though I had failures from the very beginning when my dad refused sending me to school, through the disappointment I had from my elder brother from the same wumb, I was very determined not to let my mothers effort down. Today I am proud to say out of 19 girls my father has, I am the only one who has gone through university studies. I am presently trying to continue wuth masters and I am very certain I will.Today, even my dad who did not see need sending me to school is always proud of me.

Determination is not inborned but nurtured. So no matter the situation you fine yourself into, never give up, the many failures you have will make meaning only when you pick up the pieces and fulge ahead. As a woman, believe in yourself, always say if Melvis made it, then I will definitely make it. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a step. Never minimise your little beginnings.

This story was submitted in response to Learning from Failure.

Comments 8

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Jill Langhus
Sep 07, 2017
Sep 07, 2017

Hi Emeteh. Thanks for sharing your story about perseverance. I don't see any failure here, though... just shear determination:-) Your story is so inspiring. What did you mean that one brother black mailed you? What are you getting a Masters in?

Emeteh Melvis F.
Sep 07, 2017
Sep 07, 2017

Hello jlanghus, thanks for the encouragement. My step brother lied to my elder that am doing prosititution, that I don't go to school, that I move from one night club to another, my brother on hearing this did not ask my own side of the story. I want to believe his altitude was just because they knew since its not my right to be educated, its by chance he should better stop. I intend to do masters in Gender Studies

Jill Langhus
Sep 08, 2017
Sep 08, 2017

You're welcome. Wow. That's low, on both parts really:( Maybe you could ask him why he said that and why the other one believed it? So wrong:( Cool on your Masters...

Emeteh Melvis F.
Sep 08, 2017
Sep 08, 2017

Hello jlanghus, thanks for de good ideas. U know long posts are mostly tiring reading them. Its not everything that transpired that I put down, rather just the points that are top. I did ask him why he did so, but since he was older than me he hoshed me down and told me never to ask him such question again. I went to a point where I could not bare it and had to ask him again, when he hoshed me the second time, I insisted in knowing his reasons and it resulted in a fight. It wasn't a good experience to recall please

Jill Langhus
Sep 09, 2017
Sep 09, 2017

You're welcome:) Yes, that makes sense to make your post succinct. Well, at least you asked. That's huge. It means you have self respect and that you don't agree with his opinion or his actions. I'm proud of you for speaking up. Yes, I would imagine it isn't good to remember this event, what transpired and how you were treated. Were you able to forgive them, and yourself, for anything you felt you had done wrong, whether it was true and accurate or not, to blame yourself? Forgiveness is so big. I don't want you to feel any guilt or shame around this event..:-)

Nakinti
Sep 07, 2017
Sep 07, 2017

Dear Melvis,

Tougah times don't last, tough people do. I believe that the difficulties in life are intended to make us better and not bitter. May your courage grow and lead you to a better end. Keep soaring.

Nakinti

Emeteh Melvis F.
Sep 07, 2017
Sep 07, 2017

Hello mumy Nakinti. Am proud to have a mum like you. Thanks for the encouragement. With my eyes set on you, am certain to go higher

Mannat
Sep 09, 2017
Sep 09, 2017

A strong story how to remain determine. Love for u and story.

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