One of the things I never expected when getting married to a disabled person was that I will be called a “caregiver” From my understanding a caregiver is someone who is volunteers or is paid to look after child, elderly person, sick person or disabled persons. Most time the recipient of the care does not have the capacity to return same.
I am a wife to a disabled person not a care giver. This means that my husband who is blind has the capacity to give me as much care as I would.
In 2011, I was invited to serve in a disability right advocacy group, on my first meeting a fellow member told me to note that I was invited to represent care givers. My response was, I am sorry I cannot serve in that capacity because my experience is different from such.
When you call a spouse of persons with disability a care giver you are stripping the couple of their full life. You are directly saying the spouse with disability has nothing to offer you, so you are in for a job. This is what necessitate questions like: how do you cope? How does he dress up? Why did you allow him travel alone? Etc When I said “Yes I do” 13 years oga I did not sign a contract letter that says you are in for a job, he made promises which he know he has the capacity to fulfil.
Any way being a wife in itself requires I give my husband care in whatever area he might need it whether he is disabled or not and in his capacity as husband he give me care. Therefore, we are both caregivers.
Let spouses of disabled persons enjoy their relationships don’t prescribed responsibilities don’t create labels form your imagination.