Erna Surjadi
Posted September 6, 2016 from Indonesia
Gender partnership with egalitarian ethos
GH Training for Public, Jakarta, 2011
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The past couple weeks people had been shocked by the mass media findings at couple cities in Indonesia that over 100 children (age below 18 years old) were being victims of sexual violence. Which been even unbelievable to many parents that most of the victims were boys. The old stories were known that few girls (and women) were mostly being trafficked to out of countries and received sexual violence, but for boys - this is new!. The world put 'strong war' already to fight on violence against women over centuries! However, we cannot deny it is still likely 'ghost' to many women and girls even in the family life!

The perpetrators to children sexual violence were caught both from heterosexual and Gay. Experts again emphasized that LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender are not mental disturbances). While they have the rights to choose own style of living, however it's not allowed to ask and to tell that made people gathered more to the community. We are following to the holy book of many religions that God created men and women without comma. Although the cases found revealed that the perpetrators were gay, the topic discussed was on the sexual violence to children.Sexual violence is violation to human rights, it's a crime! And involving children to the crime made people are truly upset!

Yesterday one famous talk show in the television showed also one lady activist in Bali telling her concerns to the evidence. She said the case was evaporated to the air eventually after each child received one cow and 10 millions rupiah (about 800 US$) given to the family from the suspected party. She raised up her story in the talk show with regret to the follow up that involving many parties including local government; after similar evidence found in other city in West Java. She wished that the perpetrators networks could be found and being exposed to prevent other evidence in the future.Many parties talked on the talk show including child protection commission, Parliamentary member, sociologist, expertise, activist, LGBT activist, related ministries and so on.In conclusion, people heard that many laws and regulations already been created to catch and punish hardly the perpetrators as well as efforts to give recovery for children victims; therefore government and people must work together, particularly from family to fight for eliminating this sexual violence to children!

Despite the concern how to catch the perpetrators and protecting children in the families from sexual violence and or trafficking, we'd better go back to the people's mindset on human to human relationship, women to men, or boys to girls. It seems that this "special relationship' was broken up already, likely animal fight over other animal for living. We knew that wild animals could get over the tame animals, however when situation forced them to live they could eat the same species. Is the situation of economic made people 'selling' and or 'sacrificing' others even own friends, neighbors or even relatives..?! So they could get money for living from those activities?! Or due to other reasons..?!

From the talk show, it was told that children sometimes were willing to do the sexual relationship just for small amount of money to get new chasing of their gadget or new clothes and other luxurious things they didn't have only; it's relatively lowest price for the regular hidden-prostitution among the professionals of the business. Thus, this is one point of the weaknesses that born on the sexual violence to children. It seems they're doing it due to they did not know the meaning and or some parties persuaded them to do it, either by the adults as agents or other children who were being entered and could not get out from the situation. They understood it after it's late and culture made them ashamed to admit the action that made them sinking deeper to the 'business'.

To cut 'the link', government may empower family and public facilities to reject the condition by comprehensive knowledge of the situation and impact; as well as facilitating them to 'run away' from the condition.The good and friendly children facility in public places, including social media must have showed complete stories about the harmful sexual violence that may stalk and grasp the kids (girls or boys), fooling them around, inviting them through games, gifts etc. and provide safe place to report and or hide. If each mall, supermarket and public facilities such as train station, post office, airport, etc. has 'security and trusted post', the children may go to the place after suspecting any of the activities above. Police could be requested to escort the kids later on to drop them back home.

What about children as the victims due to they were being kidnapped and or forced to do it? The children could be empowered for watching around that won't let them go beyond the safety places and or beyond the safety time. Going in a group is suggested the most, because received any drug abuse and or taken by force were easily done if the kid was alone and or within unfamiliar places.

The above is mostly related to hit and run method, due to the bad guys are still around and waiting to capture their targets as the hungry predators. That's why Gender Harmony (GH) started in 2010 has developed a proper knowledge to people about relationship of men and women based on what God wanted us to be. Of course they must afraid of God, as their Creator ever be! We must give respect to each other due to no body asked to be born, we have life due to God's purpose. Its related to faith, love and hope which based on human rights. Based on faith to God, all of human actions developing goodness to be accepted and rewarded by God!

The 'missing' proper knowledge on life as 'the gift from God'; and its meaning might lead human to 'eat' each other and ignored the rewards and punishments stated by God as the creator! The patriarchy culture obviously has put human in stratification that made women living under the men's power and over the shadow of men, even treated them as property and things (sex toys, machine of reproduction, house cleaning, display only and so on). We need to change the culture into egalitarian ethos, which actually being tried by most men and women in dating period. In this moment, most men and women put respect to each other and felt the sweetness of partnership, communication and love!

In Indonesia, we mostly missed the sexual education in most schools from elementary to high school and universities as well as in the family life, thus the youth were mostly learn it from external parties: friends, social media, observation and so on. My children when stayed in US during my scholarship to get master degree, were very lucky - they got sexual education on the elementary school. The opinion of 'taboo' when talk about sex, and or 'stimulating the sexual activities' when heard about that; is now must be reconsidered due to the world has entered globalization already; either you surfed on the huge information and technology or you sink on it!

Michael Foucalt in 2000 said that 'Information is power'!. Obviously he is right, information can be a double sword to children and youth; particularly when they received it partly and do not have the right figure about sexual organ, capability, reproductive functions, spouse relationship, gender disparities, gender partnership and human rights!

We may not do everything, however together we can do something! Let's prevent the Sexual Violence to Children as well as Violence against women through faith to God, learn GH principles for family resilience on coping mechanism and gender transformation towards peace and harmonious living!

Start with your own family then proceed to the community and nation!Everything on good-will must end up good! God speed..!

ES ;

Women's empowerment is family advancement towards future investment

No rights no harmony; no harmony no peace; no peace no happiness

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