The roads that they walk; The Life in leggings horror story.

Denisha Ramdhan
Posted December 11, 2016 from Trinidad and Tobago
We are hurting

It is truly nerve wrecking being a woman living in Trinidad and Tobago presently. We are sick, disgusted and tired of the current state of affairs in our country, our home land. Just recently two Barbadian friends Ronelle King and Allyson Benn started the #lifeinleggings movement aimed at highlighting women's sexual assault stories to show men that the experiences are not just experienced by a few. Some chose to make fun of the movement stating what response do we expect if we wear legging in the first place which is ludicrous being that the stories shared were not about a piece of fabric in the first place.

We needed a movement such as this as it gave us some sort of hope that all men would understand our plight and know that it doesn't matter our race, nationality, religious beliefs or financial status, we face a challenge daily simply by being a woman. From being verbally abused, to sexual harassment on the streets, while taking public transportation, on the jobs, being victims of domestic violence or just violence on a whole and sexual assault to name a few; we are a constant target and we get no days off from this life. Believe you me when I say it can be very challenging and exhausting.

To add to this just recently an incident occurred that rocked the citizens of Trinidad and Tobago mainly our women. It left us not only fed up but traumatized. The glass was already full, we had already reached our limit. To then throw an ice-cube in the glass just had our emotions over flowing. Citizens expressed grief, shock and horror as a woman's body was found covered with boxes in a storage room of a reputable store in the middle of the country's capital Port of Spain. This could have just been one of those incidents that would soon be forgotten and swept under the carpet just like the others. But what was different about this incident? Why did it seem to hit home so hard? Why did it stand out from the rest? Some argued that it was because of her complexion, or the fact that she was beautiful and had long beautiful hair. But I can assure you that it was neither.

Shannon Banfeild, a 20-year-old Republic bank employee was reported missing on Monday December the 5th 2016 just under a week ago. During the days that followed her face was plastered over various media platforms just like any other missing person. But no sightings of her was reported anywhere. Later that day calls made to her phone by a worried mother would have gone unanswered, all except for one. Someone finally answered her phone probably by accident because her mother said she heard men in the background who allegedly had Jamaican accents. Sherry Ann Lopez said she would normally drop her only daughter to work and pick her back up every afternoon. But on that dreaded day Shannon opted to travel home. Which is nothing out of the ordinary for a 20-year-old trying to establish some sort of independence in this world. She called her Mother promptly around 3:30 pm and told her she would be heading to two well know stores on practically the busiest street in Port of Spain, Charlotte Street. That would have been the last time she spoke to her child.

Three days later she received the most dreaded of all calls. A body was discovered in the storage room of one of the stores that Shannon said she was going to. Can you imagine the feeling of dread and despair she was going through? We can only imagine that she was clinging on to any ounce of hope she could find that it would not be her daughter, her only child. How she must have felt to have those hopes shattered. The body was finally identified as that of Shannon Banfeild.

The moment the news was released to the public cries of pain, anguish, hurt and depression was expressed across the county. Why? you may ask. For the simple reason that it could have been any one of us. Shannon was not somewhere where she wasn't supposed to be, she was doing the most mundane of activities simply shopping. Yet she still managed to turn up dead, not in a ditch, not in some remote part of the island not in a barrel with her head severed like the others before her. But she turned up dead in the stockroom of a store that she ventured into to purchase some items.

Some may think we weren't out raged before, what they don't understand is that we have reached our limit and what they see as rage and anger is actually coupled with underlying desperation and fear. Why shouldn't we be spiraling in a fit of panic? Out of the forty-five women that have been missing for the year thus far how many of them have been found? How many of them have turned up dead, mutilated, burned beyond recognition? How many persons have been apprehended, tried and convicted of these crimes? What about those that are still alive and are victims of severe domestic violence, or victims of rape? Petitions have been started to bring back the death penalty but what good is that when we live in a country that has an almost nonexistent conviction rate well a little less than 10% to be exact. Who are they actually going to put to death?

To the men of Trinidad and the Caribbean. It is nerve wrecking to have to be on your P's and Q's at all times. Why should we be afraid to leave our homes? Why can't we walk the streets without being harassed and having you make mention of our body parts? Is it even possible to go to a party with our friends and not have you un-invitingly gyrate on us and even if we refuse does it have to mean that we are pompous? Do you have to resort to name calling and insults because your advances were rejected? Do you have to try and pass your filthy hands on our legs and make it look like an accident while taking public transportation? Why should we have to worry about cars pulling up next to us and forcing us to get in never to be seen again? Or being told that we are lucky because we weren't the type you were looking for that day? Will we be your type on another day at another time?

Please we beg of you, just stop. Place some value on our lives, make us feel safe again. Fight for us, protect us, stand up for us, be our keepers. And Yes, all life matters, yes 400 plus men were killed for the year and you may argue that it’s a drastic contrast compared to the handful of sisters we have lost. But we don't participate in gang wars, we don't fight for control of turfs and drug blocks, we don't go and shoot up a block and claim more lives because we lost a sister. We don't go around killing each other because we were disrespected or our egos were bruised. If that were the case the death toll would be doubled.

I don't just speak for the women of Trinidad and Tobago but for women across the globe. We are tired, we are tired and afraid, we need to get back some form of normalcy in our lives. From our homes to the streets make us feel safe again. We are your sister's, your daughter's your mother's your aunt's your' cousin's your grandmother's.

WE ARE TIRED.

Sincerely

A Heartbroken Sister

Comments 5

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Jill Langhus
Dec 12, 2016
Dec 12, 2016

Hi Faith Hope Survivor, Thanks so much for your courage in sharing this story. I had no idea that Trinidad and Tobago were so violent and in upheaval. Is it more violent now than it was say 10 years ago? What is causing the upheaval? What do you think would be the best way to curb this horrible trend of violence, and particularly violence towards women? Are there any organizations that are listening? Any petitions that have made any progress towards positive change. I hope for your sake and for your fellow sisters that there has been progress or that there will be soon:-(

Lisa Anderson
Dec 12, 2016
Dec 12, 2016

Dear Faith Hope Survivor,

Your descriptions of the violence women in Trinidad and the Caribbean endure are powerfully heartbreaking. I appreciate you speaking up and addressing the men in these communities with a plea for peace and safety. Voices like yours are so imperative!

Warm regards,

Lisa

allie shep
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016

Hi - what you are describing and suffering is horrible . Just to pick out one small piece - the leggings as a symbol. Throughout the world men decide that we are a certain kind of person by what we wear, and this sounds like the worst extent of that.

It is course not just the men in the street - it is the people (men and women) working in the media and in advertising in particular who put are to blame. We have to speak out about media and public scrutiny of women and the classing of us.

Allie x

Denisha Ramdhan
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016

 Thank you for your kind words and support. It really has become a burden. One which I'm not sure women are capable of bearing. It's time for this to stop. We need to work together and fight for a change, for our respect and for the safety of our lives. We can no longer continue to live in fear. 

allie shep
Dec 15, 2016
Dec 15, 2016

Hi Denisha - I agree we need to work together to stop the exploitation of women and - even more importantly - to halt this climate of fear which we all have to suffer to a greater or lesser extent.

I do think though that on the whole women are capable of bearing our burden. We shouldn't HAVE to, but the fact that we are stronger than men (mentally and emotionally) is one reason we've suffered for so long.

I look forward to reading more from you on WP.

Allie x