Learn and Apply the 3 pillars of Self-Empowerment: Self- Awareness, Self- Compassion & Self-Mastery

Fariba
Posted December 1, 2019 from United States

Hello Friends:

My name is Fariba Parsa, an Iranian born- Danish Citizen, American resident, living in Virginia, USA. I am exited to get connected to my sisters in World Pulse. Like thousands of others I am passionate for women’s leadership and women’s empowerment. For this mission I have initiated Women’s E-Learning in Leadership, WELL a nonprofit organization that has the mission to empower university women to become leaders and have a positive impact in their community. I learned leadership begins with leading ourselves.  We can lead ourselves when we are empowered. We are all capable to empower ourselves. You may ask how can we empower ourselves? After one decade studies about self empowerment I came to conclude that we might work with these three pillars: 1) Self Awareness, 2) Self Compassion and 3) Self Mastery. I am in the process to start my company, Self-Empowerment Academy, SEA.

Before I explain about the three pillars on Self- Empowerment let me tell my story:  

I was born in Iran. When I was 12  years old I wanted to bike on the street but I might not. My mom said “ NO!,  You are a girl!  My mother has been witnessed for sexual harassment for a girl in my age who was biking. She did not want that it should happen to me.   I saw all men on the street like hungry wolfs and myself like a baby lam. I saw myself powerless  and a victim.

I compared myself with my brother;  he could bike on the street, he could for example just stand in a corner  and watch people. He could have a girl friend, it was cool for him but terrible for the girls.  If I just copied my brother's behavior  I was called a prostitute. I asked my parents why there were so many stupid traditions.  My mom and other families laughed at me and said I was only a kid and I did not know anything about the real world.  They said that I was confused.  My mother ironically said “God has  done a mistake with you, you should be a boy and not a girl. “ Another time she said, “you should be a bird and not a human.” I was a bird in my mind.

I was witnessed to demonstrations on the street, and the Islamic Revolution in Iran in 1979.  I saw many  buildings were burned,  gun shuts, blood and tear gas.   At that time I was thinking things maybe would be changed for the better  for girls and women but after the Islamic Revolution women and girls lost some of the rights they had achieved before the Revolution.  The political changes were the opposite what many were  expected.                             

 

In 1981, the war with Iraq began. At school, we had classes about guns and were each given a gun. We learned about different kinds of guns. The  government announced that all people, including the elderly and young girls, should be ready for the war with Iraq and to defend our country. During the school hours, we were often forced to demonstrate in the streets for various political events organized  by the government.

 

I initiated a school “news week” with some of my friends. We wrote critical short articles about the war with Iraq, the American hostages, corruption, and the lack of freedom. After only few days, I was called to the school office and expelled. My parents were worried that at any time I could be arrested, imprisoned or killed. I left Iran when I was 17 years old. Just a few weeks before, the Revolutionary Guard came to my parents’ house to arrest me.

 

I lived in India, Germany and later in Denmark, where I became a citizen. I  began to use to live in my new home.  I studied political sciences at university and got my PhD, was active in range of organizations  and I became a speaker and specialist on Iran, focus on the political  and women issues. I moved to USA in 2010 when I got a fellowship at Harvard University. Living in USA and meeting hundreds of scholars from all over the world  influenced my thinking, and feelings;  I saw myself living on planet Earth. I began to feel that I am a global citizen,  My friends were from all over the world with different culture, religions and skin color. My heart expanded deeply to love all people no matter which nationality they had. I began to understand about other people's life and their struggles for freedom.  Thinking and being global are some of the treasures I got in US.

 

Another treasure I got in US is that I may focus to empower myself and understand that I am the cause for my achievement and miseries. I  learned that I should understand the world within myself  before I begin to change the world outside myself.   Therefor all my focus was shifted from the world outside to the world inside, to personal growth, and self empowerment.  We change the world by changing yourself. The Persian Poet and philosopher Rumi from 11. Century said “ when I was young I wanted to change the world, now I am wise I want to change myself.

Now, a short description of the three pillars for self- Empowerment:

1)     Self Awareness:

Self- awareness is about having our focus on ourselves and beginning to know ourselves. We ask ourselves: Who are we really, what are our goals, dream, challenges, fear? What are our core values? What are our strengths and skills? We think we know ourselves but our understanding of ourselves is only a small percentage of who we are. Research shows 95% of all we do is based on habit and we do it unconsciously. In the process of gaining self- awareness, we will be like a researcher who observes and learns without being judgmental. We will never be finished in getting to know ourselves completely. There are always new things that we can learn about ourselves which make us surprised. Self-awareness is one of the most important pillars of self-empowerment, because we cannot change or improve anything within ourselves if we are not aware of them. When you start the journey of self- awareness you cannot stop yourself from learning more about yourself; as a result, you strengthen your greatness within yourself.

 

2)     Self-compassion

Self-compassion is about being kind to yourself, accepting and respecting yourself and not being critical toward yourself. You forgive yourself for all the mistakes you have made. You accept yourself as you are. You are not perfect, no one else is perfect either. You accept your mistakes and learn to forgive and let go. When we are lacking in self-compassion we start talking to ourselves negatively. Negative self-talk induces the stress hormone (cortisol) in our body. As we know, having high levels of cortisol impacts not only our physical but also our mental well-being. We will not able to empower ourselves with negative self talk.

When we suffer, when we are angry, when we feel negative, if we are self- compassionate, we feel the emotion and tell ourselves “may I be kind to myself in this moment, may I give myself the compassion that I need” or “this is a moment of suffering, everyone suffers.” ( Kristen Neff, 2015 :Self compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself) When we are intentionally self-aware, we can build the mindset of self-compassion and be able to heal ourselves. Our focus will be toward healing, harmony, peace, love from within ourselves, and as the result of self-compassion, we feel more empowered.

3)     Self- Mastery

Self-mastery is about learning how to master our thoughts, our self- talk, and our actions. If we cannot master our thoughts we cannot master ourselves. We are what we think; if we think we are capable that is we are. If we think we are weak, that is just we are. We practice to not allow any negative thoughts drop into our mind and we watch our thoughts.

Self-mastery is also about mastering our words. Words are powerful. Our life is generally shaped by our thoughts and our words. We need to master our actions too and the only way to master our actions is not only to master our thoughts and words but also to practice disciplining ourselves with our emotions. Self-mastery practice is intentional, to become a better version of ourselves and to empower ourselves.

Self-awareness and self-mastery are the wisdom from thousands of years ago. Lao Tzu, who lived 6 century BC in China, wrote:

“Knowing others is intelligence,

Knowing yourself is true wisdom.

Mastering others is strength,

Mastering yourself is true power. “

I have developed a 7-session Self-Empowerment Coaching program based on these three self masteries and on my life experiences of living in five different countries, my academic studies, and my work with several nonprofit organizations for human rights, and democracy, as well as my own studies about self empowerment for the last 10 years.

 

•      First session: Introducing Mindfulness, Discover Your Values

•      Second session: Discover Your Strength & Talent

•      Third session: Clarify Your Vision and Your Goals

•      Fourth session: Cultivate Self-Compassion

•      Fifth session: Introducing Meditation and Mastering Your Thoughts/ Self-Talk

•      Sixth session: The Art of Listening/Communication

•      Seventh session: Your Personal Strategic Plan of Action

 

The work with Women’s E-Learning in Leadership, WELL and Self- Empowerment Academy have been done by volunteering a few students and myself. If I want to reach more women and help more women in their journey I need your support: I am looking for people who can help with designing a website for Self- Empowerment Academy, people who give advice / help for fundraising, people who want to give feedback about Self empowerment and share their experiences, for people who want to enroll in my seven session  self- Empowerment coaching program. ( For more information send me an email [email protected])

I am grateful for world Pulse that has created this opportunity for millions of women to be connected around the world. When we empower others, we empower ourselves too.

Thank You for your time. 

 

  

This story was submitted in response to #IStandWithHer.

Comments 26

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Madhuri Deshkar
Dec 01, 2019
Dec 01, 2019

प्रिये आपकी सोच हमे प्रभाव शाली है ।

Fariba
Dec 02, 2019
Dec 02, 2019

Thank you Madhuri. I hope you are doing well. Look forward to getting to know you.

My warm regards
Fariba

Anita Shrestha
Dec 02, 2019
Dec 02, 2019

Thank you for sharing

Fariba
Dec 02, 2019
Dec 02, 2019

Thank you Anita. I look forward to hearing your comments, which things about self empowerment are the most important for you?

Anita Shrestha
Dec 02, 2019
Dec 02, 2019

Thank you for sharing

Anita Kiddu Muhanguzi
Dec 02, 2019
Dec 02, 2019

Dear Fariba,
Thank you so much for your story and letting us know more about you and the work that you are doing. Your E-learning programme seems to be amazing and am sure that many women will benefit from this programme. You are most welcome to this great platform of World pulse that has a strong sisterhood and you feel the love now matter where you are in the world.
I will definitely inbox you to know more about the programme.
Have a lovely day and keep writing and sharing your stories.
Stay blessed.

Fariba
Dec 02, 2019
Dec 02, 2019

Thank you Anita for your kind note. You do an amazing job supporting women farmers. I look forward to getting to know more about your organization. Have a lovely day!
Warm regards
Fariba

Jill Langhus
Dec 02, 2019
Dec 02, 2019

Hi Fariba,

Welcome to World Pulse! Thanks for sharing your amazing video, work, post and short bio! What an amazing life you've had so far. I'm really interested in your work, too. Do you have social media page(s) to follow/like so I can follow them? I will message you, too:-) Please keep us posted on how it goes.

Hope you have a great week and I'm looking forward to hearing more about your work and mission!

Fariba
Dec 02, 2019
Dec 02, 2019

Dear Jill: Thank you for your kind note. I am mostly active with Linked In, I have account on Face Book Page, Twitter and Instagram too. Some of my friends asked me for the Self Empowerment Academy website, but at the moment I don't have a website for the SEA. Have a lovely day!
Warm regards
Fariba

Jill Langhus
Dec 04, 2019
Dec 04, 2019

Hi Fariba,

You're very welcome:-) Oh, okay.

Good luck with your website. I'm sure you'll find the resources you need:-)

You, too!

XX

Sinyuy Geraldine
Dec 02, 2019
Dec 02, 2019

Hi Dr Fariba, your story is a whole inspiration. Thank you for sharing it. I still have to come back to it in order to learn. Thank God your parents acted fast else you would have beem arrested in your country.

Wusufor
Dec 03, 2019
Dec 03, 2019

Dear Fariba,
Thanks for also connection with us too. We so glad to have you here too. What a blessing it is to have you :-).

A great welcome once again and thanks for choosing to speak up. I have stay in Denmark almost 5 years. You can dropped me a mail if you like us to connect. A nice opening image there.
[email protected]
Hugs

Fariba
Dec 03, 2019
Dec 03, 2019

Thank you Lisbeth for your kind note. Do you still live in Denmark?

Wusufor
Dec 04, 2019
Dec 04, 2019

Naaa ;-)
Hugs

lizzymark
Dec 03, 2019
Dec 03, 2019

Hi Fariba welcome to world pulse, thank you for shearing what you are doing with women through your E-learning program. Hoping to hear more from you.

Madhuri Deshkar
Dec 04, 2019
Dec 04, 2019

प्रये मुझे बोहोत आनंद है की महिला के प्रति सोचते है आत्मविश्वास के काय करते मै भी सिकना चाहती हु । मै अपने घुसे पर नियंत्रण करना चाहती हू।

Patience Nyange
Dec 04, 2019
Dec 04, 2019

Awwwww! Awesome read. I am interested in your initiative. For the great work you do with raising a future generation of empowered women, thank you!

Fariba
Dec 08, 2019
Dec 08, 2019

Thank you Patience for your kind note. love, Fariba

Tarke Edith
Dec 07, 2019
Dec 07, 2019

Hi Fariba
You are welcome to world pulse .
Thank you for sharing with us
Dear sister l am really passionate about your empowerment and leadership project toward woment .
Thanks alot dear
With much love
Marry axmas in advance.

Fariba
Dec 08, 2019
Dec 08, 2019

Hi Tarke, Thank you for your kind message. How can I help you in your effort for women's empowerment and leadership? love, Fariba

Spiritedsoul
Dec 07, 2019
Dec 07, 2019

That is a wonderful and inspiring post. Thank you for sharing. I had my your tenacity and determination. I’ll have a look at your course.
Love and hugs,
Jess

Fariba
Dec 08, 2019
Dec 08, 2019

Hello Jess, Thank you for your kind post. Please feel free to contact me if you want to get more information about the Self Empowerment Course or the WELL- Organization. Hugs, Fariba

Juliet Acom
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Hi Fariba,

Thank you for sharing your memories with us. It is a story of true liberation. I look forward to reading more from you.
Have a wonderful day

Fariba
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019

Thank you Juliet. I hope all is going well for you.

Tola Makinde
Dec 12, 2019
Dec 12, 2019

Dear Fariba,

I love your courage and determination.
You will go far.

Look forward to read more from you

Cheers

Shirin Dalaki
Mar 07
Mar 07

Dear fariba,
I just read your story and was touched by it. You have come so far in your journey have gathered so much wisdom and courage and I applaud you. I love what you wrote,"I began to feel that I am a global citizen"...
it truly resonated with me and I love it that you like to empower people. I am with you, let us do it together because together with the same mind-set we are stronger.

Shirin