Self-made Dungeon

Fenella
Posted June 24, 2020 from Papua New Guinea

Its time to go home, She sits and dreads. He has not reaponded, To the email threads.

Sitting outside, The songbirds sings. Its nearly six, Should i catch the bus or ring.

Pay is not in yet, We may not eat tonight. Ill have to go quickly, And find a bite.

His still not here, Its now a quarter past. Ill go back in and send an email, It must be fast.

Coming back out, I caught a sight. The car just pulled out, Not another fight.

As tears began to fall, Fear creeped in. Why didnt he wait, Why so mean.

I quickly paced, Down to the guards. My husband came! Why not let him pass.

Sorry Mrs, Em no stop gut. Mipla signal lo em, Tsol m hariap tru.

Mipla ting u go, Nogat sign blo u. Sapos boss bin stop, Bai mipla tok drive thru.

I bowed my head, And strolled back up. Another afternoon, Of disconluded doubts

A suspecting partner, Violence floods. Unpredicted circumstances, Ending with Blood.

I must go home now, I cannot stay. Let him find me, On my way.

At least it will be easier, Than sitting here. If he comes back, Death is near.

Quickly walking down, Back to the guards. I fear them looking, A couple of tards.

It doesn't help, Their sarcastic opinions. No help to the situation, Which is not their business.

Situation is screwed, The institute is big. For a suspecting partner, He will dig.

My word is untrue, He would say. I was screwing around, With a workmate Ray.

Doubling my pace, Im out the gate. Sweaty palms, Scared of my fate.

Round the corner, It is now dark. I hear near by, A familiar bark.

His here! I PRAY, He just picks me up. But the look on his face, Depicts something tough.

I start to fumble, In my speech. Overwelmed with fear, More like a screech.

No explaination, Just a blow to the head. The smell of blood, My world was dead.

Waking up, Cold and wet. A familiar scent, I peaked through the vent.

My head swelling, I didnt care. I was back in my laundry, My husbands lair.

Id be in here, for a day or two. Until he freed me, Untill he was cool.

A prisoner in my own home, He would make the rules. My child would see me, He would tell her 'daddy rules'.

I came by, Where were you? You screwing around, You think im a fool.

I waited for hours, Pardon me! Am i your driver, How do you plee?

Ive learn to shut up, You suffer less. For if you speak up, The scene becomes a mess.

It becomes a norm, As it plays back to a child. Even when im not in there, My child recites.

Mummy your room, I want to stay with you. I dont want to stay with daddy, I want to be with you.

Crying so hard, will not break the walls. You either stay sane, Or you lose and fall.

Several times, I begged to die. If didn't kill me, Please Lord take my life.

It was time to go home, You must be humble. If you stay in this game, You will stumble.

A suspecting partner, Will get their way. You must standup, come what may.

Please get help, The scene is not right. If he loves you, He will not fight.

Its time to go home, He will wait. Until you come out, A smile on his face.

Comments 9

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Chi8629
Jun 24
Jun 24

Dear Sweet Sister,
Iam sorry you pass through
All this , I want to let you know that you are enough , you are capable, you are important , you are worthy , you are strong , you are loved so much and you are not alone . We love you so much and we are right here for you .

What beautiful words to write, Chioma. So empowering. Keep it up, Queen!

Chi8629
Jun 25
Jun 25

You are welcome Sister .
I was born an encourager . It gives me joy to see others happy .

Hello, Fenella,

I admire how you use words so carefully that they rhyme. You are a talented woman, dear. How lovely that you are able to paint a story using your words.

I hope this is not your story. But if it is, hugs to you, dear. Writing it makes you being the voice of the voiceless women who are suffering in their "dungeons". We cry for justice!

Fenella
Jul 10
Jul 10

Hi Karen,
This is my story. Intimate partner relationships are like dungeons. We must choose to leave or we become victims. Thankyou for your kind words.

Vanora.Lee
Jul 10
Jul 10

oh Karen, heart breaking to read this. Big hug to you and pray for your situation. Stay strong and positive

Anita Shrestha
Jul 13
Jul 13

Thank you for sharing

Nab
Jul 21
Jul 21

This is heartbreaking. But one thing stood out to me - your child chooses you. That is a treasure all on its own. That you raise your child well that he/she knows what's right and wrong. You're amazing

Paulina Nayra
Jul 21
Jul 21

Oh dear Fenella.. this is so touching and heartbreaking. It also made me angry. You captured the victim's thoughts and fears very clearly. Many women from all over the world are experiencing this. We pray for them that they will start to fight back ags. nd stand up against violence .
I wish you well Fenella. Keep safe and keep writing.
Hugs.