What men mean to me

Fungai Machirori
Posted October 16, 2010 from Zimbabwe
Hand in hand we stand!
Hand in hand we stand!
Hand in hand we stand! (1/1)

I'm currently doing my Masters degree and the first class discussion for one of my modules was to discuss whether or not women need men in their lives.

The actual quote that we were meant to analyse stated the following: "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."

Imagine a fish peddling for dear life on a bike! In effect, what this quote really means is that we women do not need men at all in our lives.

Now, I am one of those loud and strong advocates for women's rights BUT I will NEVER EVER believe that men are unnecessary in my life.

First and foremost, without a man I would not exist. It is the science of life that sperm + egg = zygote, which becomes foetus and finally baby. And the sperm has to come from a man, regardless of whether he is a chauvinist, patriarch or traditionalist. It's just that simple!

Secondly, as a child, one needs the advice and guidance of a male figure. I did not grow up with my father but I can reflect back on the role that my uncles and other male relatives played in giving me practical advice of how to go about doing things. One always needs a balance between the worldviews suggested by their male and female role models as the differences between them tend to open up perspective.

Thirdly, in my adulthood I do need men. One learns a lot about the inner psyche of males by talking to them, asking them questions, relating to them. There's no point in a bunch of women huddling up together and saying, "Men are like this" or "Men are like that". Let's talk to each other and not about each other!

Also, as a heterosexual woman, I do need men because somewhere among them all is my life partner! How will I find him if I do not interact?! And I do also believe that lesbians cannot disregard men completely as they need them for other things beyond sexual and gratification. Men are not just penises!

Our world abounds with may social ills - rape, domestic violence, oppression and so many others. If we put the blame on men, we don't actually solve anything. Rather than blame all men as though they ALL indulge in such activities, let's talk to each other so we can find out where the problem is and why someone would feel like they have entitlement to a woman's body at any time they so wish.

I believe in men, though it's sometimes hard to. I thank God for them. They complement me, balance me, make me laugh, make me angry, make me woman. This one is for the men! Viva!

Comments 3

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Olutosin
Oct 16, 2010
Oct 16, 2010

If there are no man there wont be a need for someone called woman, there is a man that is why there is a woman, although I partly agree with the fact that there must be a man-figure or so, I never had one, my father died about 35 years ago and my mother was the man and woman in my life. No one will believe this, the uncles and brothers became terrors and I had to find solace in my mother, I blocked the existence of men for a long period of time.

May be or may be not, God saw this and he blessed me with a a friend I refer to as husband, because my society never allowed me to call my husband a friend, he went haywire some years back and the End Violence Against Women in my life began from there, today he is also and advocate of VAW.

Men are good, some are extremely good but some are NOT NECESSARY....It is all the species. Some women are bad also and they know themselves, that they are bad.

May we be good and make difference in our communities. We complement each other.

Fungai Machirori
Oct 27, 2010
Oct 27, 2010

I appreciate your thoughts a lot. I also appreciate your willingness to share your own story. We need men, but we need GOOD men!

adrineh
Nov 01, 2010
Nov 01, 2010

I love this: "Men are not just penises!" And definitely: we don't need just any men, but GOOD men ;) I consider myself a lesbian, but that doesn't mean that men should be abolished from the world (or my life). Their presence is important in this world just as much as ours.