Limitations and Restrictions

soul on fire
Posted March 25, 2018 from India

As a kid, I was so carefree and I was unaware of mensuration. I was like ten years old when my mom told me that all girls get their mensuration one day and it would be a different age for everyone 

It was so cringy to hear the fact that we bleed every month. 

Anyway when I was in sixth grade and most of the girls got their periods and let me tell you that most of them changed after getting their periods. Some stopped playing in PT period, some stopped talking to boys (I was in that category) and some didn't change at all  When  I got my period, I was in seventh grade. Then all of a sudden I was getting advice like " sit properly", "don't talk loudly" etc

My relatives were giving me classes to be more ladylike. All these things were suffocating me and I portrayed my frustration through anger especially with all those cramps and stomach pain, I was losing it. My world was suddenly closed with a bunch of limitations. All these people told me that these restrictions will protect me. A day before I got my period I was living my life, my world was limitless, I was so carefree, worrying about my math test. 

Now let's fast forward six years of my life I am 18 now If you live in India, we can read about rape cases in the newspaper like every day. That's not normal.  I am sure that most of the girls in India will have to go through these restrictions as a part of becoming women. My question is, why do we have to go through these restrictions?.

No matter how much we follow those restrictions we are never going to be safe. Those monsters are going to stare at our body or they will do something to make us feel uncomfortable 

Please share your thoughts I would love to hear your aspects as well

STAY AWESOME.

Soorya Gayathri

This story was submitted in response to You Are a Silence Breaker.

Comments 9

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Olutosin
Mar 25, 2018
Mar 25, 2018

Hello I love reading and thinking about these types of questions that has no immediate answers .... After sitting carefully, decorum of walking and talking like a girl, why didn't those monsters stop glaring and raping?????
The society doesn't know which one of its problems that requires which solutions.....many cultural practices have failed us
...its time to revisit many belief systems and look for lasting solutions. Menstruation isn't a problem, people are just the problems

soul on fire
Mar 25, 2018
Mar 25, 2018

"Menstruation isn't a problem, people are just the problems"- true, but It all started for me after getting my periods that's why I thought I should include it.
Thank you so much for sharing your thought it means a lot to me

Jill Langhus
Mar 26, 2018
Mar 26, 2018

Hi Soorya. I totally agree with you. I always thought what a lot of bunk when people talk about being a lady. The whole time I'm thinking boys and men don't have to behave like that. It always seemed to me, too, that women were the fiercest reinforcers of this so-called "ladylike" ethos. I once had a co-worker tell me that I didn't sit like a lady. Well, I wasn't as outspoken as I am now, but the rebel came out in me, and that just meant make more of an effort to do the exact opposite. All the time I'm wondering, why do I want to sit uncomfortably with my knees locked together all day again? Yep, wasn't working for me either. And, you're quite right, none of these restrictions are protecting girls and women from anything. I think if anything, they make us look more vulnerable because we're not thinking for ourselves and following some unwritten rules of conduct that we are supposed to just blindly follow:(

soul on fire
Mar 26, 2018
Mar 26, 2018

I can never understand that why do some have to follow two lives, we all have a fighter or rebel inside us, but we never take that person instead most of us keep following them
And I am the kind of person who keeps quiet and later it makes me feel so guilty.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts
And YES I will bring the rebel inside me because I am so done with following it

Jill Langhus
Mar 26, 2018
Mar 26, 2018

I've always been part rebel/black sheep. Sometimes it's a blessing and sometimes not so much:) Yes, I hear you about not speaking up. It was/is a process for me to speak up. Please don't feel guilty or beat yourself up. A lot of us need to learn to speak up, especially if we weren't taught how to do it. It's hard. It will come. You're very welcome:) Yay!!!! Sounds like a plan!

soul on fire
Mar 26, 2018
Mar 26, 2018

Thank you so much

Jill Langhus
Mar 26, 2018
Mar 26, 2018

You're welcome, hon:) Have a great day!

Tamarack Verrall
Mar 27, 2018
Mar 27, 2018

Hi Soorya,

"My question is, why do we have to go through these restrictions?" I love that you are asking this question. Breaking through all of these restrictions placed on us as women is an act of courage, and with courage we show what is possible. We are taught to "act as ladies" to fit into what is expected of us: accepting all of these unfair restrictions on our lives. There is no reason that these should continue, apart from the selfish benefit to men who want to keep money, property and freedom of movement to themselves. So we are told that we are to sit quietly by, while we read that yet another woman has been raped. With men allowed to continue to instill fear and control. Who defines what "culture" is? We all have beautiful cultural practises. We have no need to continue those that are harmful. Keep dancing so wildly and freely into freedom of movement dear sister. You are shining a light on the path for others.

soul on fire
Mar 27, 2018
Mar 27, 2018

"Keep dancing so wildly and freely into freedom of movement dear sister". -Yes and you are so cool
thank you so much for sharing your thoughts