I am "kind of an atheist"
I said "kind of" because I do believe there's some kind of superior power that's controlling our universe. But the concept of God confuses me.
I still remember going to a temple and waiting in queue to see god and pray. I used to be really enthusiastic when it comes to visiting temples, churches, and mosques. There was something calming about these places.
The concept of having trust and faith in God just fascinated me, as a matter of fact, we cannot see god. We are supposed to feel the presence.
"Prasatham" is something we get to eat from the temple after praying. So one day I offered it to my friend who belonged to another religion. She said that she is not allowed to eat because it's not allowed in their religion. I couldn't understand that. Ok yes, maybe it's from a temple. But it's just-food. How can we differentiate on food?
And then again when I got my first period my mother told me we can't go to the temple or go near anywhere the area they're praying. Because that creates impurity.
Now as a 12-year old I thought to myself, I didn't ask to get my periods it was part of "god's creation". How is that impure?
When I was taking my history classes and politics classes. I came to understand that in India there used to be caste/religious differences. Which also caused clashes between religion. And the sad part is it still exists, which disappoints me.
Slowly the things that I used to get excited about God made me feel confused. I started feeling disconnected.
Of course, there is a superior power that's controlling the unexplainable things but why is there so many differences? Why does it have to be so confusing?
It's just a point of view where I can have it wrong. I never received any clarity about this in my life. So I thought I would just put it out there.
Please do share your thoughts.
Stay awesome ❤️