Kind of an atheist ?

soul on fire
Posted June 3, 2020 from India

I am "kind of an atheist"

I said "kind of" because I do believe there's some kind of superior power that's controlling our universe. But the concept of God confuses me.

I still remember going to a temple and waiting in queue to see god and pray. I used to be really enthusiastic when it comes to visiting temples, churches, and mosques. There was something calming about these places.

The concept of having trust and faith in God just fascinated me, as a matter of fact, we cannot see god. We are supposed to feel the presence. 

"Prasatham" is something we get to eat from the temple after praying. So one day I offered it to my friend who belonged to another religion. She said that she is not allowed to eat because it's not allowed in their religion. I couldn't understand that. Ok yes, maybe it's from a temple. But it's just-food. How can we differentiate on food?

And then again when I got my first period my mother told me we can't go to the temple or go near anywhere the area they're praying. Because that creates impurity. 

Now as a 12-year old I thought to myself,  I didn't ask to get my periods it was part of "god's creation". How is that impure?

When I was taking my history classes and politics classes. I came to understand that in India there used to be caste/religious differences. Which also caused clashes between religion. And the sad part is it still exists, which disappoints me.

Slowly the things that I used to get excited about God made me feel confused. I started feeling disconnected. 

Of course, there is a superior power that's controlling the unexplainable things but why is there so many differences? Why does it have to be so confusing?

It's just a point of view where I can have it wrong. I never received any clarity about this in my life. So I thought I would just put it out there.

Please do share your thoughts.

Stay awesome ❤️

Comments 10

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Shirin Dalaki
Jun 03
Jun 03

Hello Dear,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I can offer you my opinion since you asked for clarity. As I read your story I do feel your enthusiasm about God. What I feel is confusing to you is the messages you heard. You are right that your body is the body that God created and different religions try to tell people that when women are on their period their body is not pure ... or not eating certain food... but this is the religion talking and not God expression because you are made in the image of God and you are soul and capable to choose your own practice. Our body is operating with blood running through it and God created period for women so I totally get your point. I admire you for being so wise but I also encourage you not to yeild to messages that do not resonate with you as it did in these situations. Believing in God is a beautiful practice and God alone will lead the way for you and give you the calm that you were expressing without any religion attached to it which causes confusion, in other words you can separate yourself from the religion and experience your life with God in it and see how that would make a difference for you. I love to hear more from you and your experiences.

soul on fire
Jun 13
Jun 13

Hi
First of all thank you so much for sharing this with me. I never had the opportunity to have a meaningful conversation about this topic with anyone.
Again thank you for sharing your beautiful perception.
Yes, I will try to separate the view points of religion and my experience with god. ❤️

Shirin Dalaki
Jun 16
Jun 16

Hello Dear,

Thank you for your response and expressing your truth. I am so grateful that you are able to have a meaning conversation on this platform and I am more grateful that you would try to separate the view points of religion and your experinece with God.

Thelma obani 2020
Jun 07
Jun 07

Find inner peace in it holds the answer to all ur questions regardless of a lot of things you heard while growing up

soul on fire
Jun 13
Jun 13

Yes❤️❤️

Beth Lacey
Jun 08
Jun 08

I believe God gives us the free will to explore all you have outlined here and come to our own conclusions

soul on fire
Jun 13
Jun 13

❤️❤️

Hello, Soul On Fire,

How are you doing? I admire your bravery for speaking up your truth. I want to share an insight to add to your clarity. Coronavirus is real, but we cannot see it. We only know it exists because of its effect on us. We see symptoms on patients affected by this virus. We learn to adjust our way of living for prevention. But there are also asymptomatic cases where a patient is affected by the virus but shows no symptoms.

We can feel the presence of God when we see love. We can start from there. :)
Please write more. :)

soul on fire
Jun 13
Jun 13

Yess I get your point. I have always felt the presence of a superior power. There are so many unexplainable things happening in this world which leads to no conclusion.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me.❤️
Yes I will try to write more

That's great to know, Soul on Fire. Yes! Use you gift of writing. Looking forward to reading more from you!

Have a great day!