Stop allowing men to hurt you, verbally and physically. That is how we stop it.

Diane DeVillers
Posted May 7, 2015 from United States
Stand alone if you have to. Be happy, it's your life

By refusing to be treated badly women can leave bad situations and stop the verbal or physical abuse they are living in. If they can't leave then they should make ultimatiums for their men to get into counseling, not just any random counseling but one through a women's abuse center where they won't coddle the men. A regular counselor may just let the man go on and on blaming the woman for getting him upset. A good abuse counselor one that sees verbal abuse as abuse will be tough and will let the men know that verbal hurts as well the physical abuse.

A good counselor will make the man own the anger he has inside him, and not to blame the woman for getting them upset, which is a cop out. Real progress must be made and if over a year of counseling, (make them follow through and not quit) if they still are being abuse leave them, do you hear me, leave!!

Women, especially in America have the ability to make their own way in the world by working, even if it's a job that is not ideal it will afford you the option of leaving an abusive relationship. Having your own money and a stash so that if you need to leave is importatn. I know having children really does add a layer I have not had to deal with.

Any man that is consistantly abuse acts like a fourteen year old boy, unaware of their anger, and boyish denial that "She made me get mad" until he can admit it's on him, they will never change.

Dump that chump, there are men out there that are evolved and truely love independent women, men who are small or have short man complex, do not respect a woman who thinking on her own. Why would you want to stay with someone like that?

So pull away, save money for an escape plan, keep you money separately from his, and don't get married, or then it will take more to get untangled from him. And fess up that you could perhaps be fulfilling a legacy of finding me who abuse you. You do deserve to be happy, and if that means being alone then do so.

Educate yourself, take job training, work your way up to a top wage, money allows you to make independent choices.

The Path to Participation Initiative from World Pulse and No Ceilings

Comments 4

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May 08, 2015
May 08, 2015

Dear Girlpower,

Thank you for sharing. I always encourage women to make sure they have something doing no matter how little. Being married to an abusive man is not easy for any woman especially if kids are involved. Some cultures in Africa 'frown' at divorce and favours the man more; so this affects so many women who are scared of what people will say. Some women who are not financially independent are scared to leave their marriage no matter how 'crazy' the man is.Some of these abusive men even stop their wives from working either out of jealousy or just to make them 'beg' for almost everything to prove their 'superiority' (chauvinism).  

This is why having a skill or learning one if you have to, is very important for every woman even if you are educated.



Yvette Warren
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015

Thank you, Diane, for sharing your voice on this important issue.

Perhaps you can consider dancing with several of your World Pulse sisters in a One Billion Rising Event to be held in conjunction with the Parliament of the World's Religions in October.

One Billion Rising exists to bring an end to violence against women. SHEROES United is organizing the dance event.

Anita Kiddu Muhanguzi
May 17, 2015
May 17, 2015

Dear Diane,

Thank you for sharing. It is good if the men can accept to be counselled. Women should be encourgaed to look for work so that they are busy as well, i know it cannot be easy but they should try. Thank you for sharing and please continue to share these stories so that the voices of these women are heard through you and can advocated for on such international platforms. Stay blessed

Kika Katchunga
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015

Thank you for sharing and these board