Modern Patriarchy Denying Women Economic Empowerment

Recently when I traveled to the village, I did not know that I would encounter a sad face. During my high school days, Anne was like a big sister to me. She would always call me over the weekends for a piece of advice. The most memorable phrase was “Gladys, focus on your education; don’t let men misuse you.”

Her voice called me into the home reception area where she was cleaning dishes at the tap. This woman has been the envy of every woman in the village. She got married in to a permanent stone walled house. Her home is full of bananas, mango trees, orange trees, dairy cows, chicken, ducks, and on one side you can peep and see a food store packed with various grains such as rice, beans, and maize…all harvested from her farm. Her husband recently bought a car. Besides, he has installed electricity for her and she cooks using gas.

As I shook hands with her, I noticed her warm smile has disappeared into sadness. However, I got distracted by the roughness of her cracked palm which almost threatened to tear mine. How could a person have such a rough and cracked palm? I looked straight into her eyes and pretended not to have felt anything. A face that was once light skinned was now dark; her forehead was marked by countless wrinkles. A forty year old woman was tying a headscarf on a head that has clearly never seen a salon. The beautiful, well endowed body of a secondary school teacher’s wife was no more. Had she been sick? No…I could have heard about it!

She handed me a plastic chair and I went to sit near her husband so that we could talk and catch up after such a long time. The husband was busy tending to his cows. Clearly proud of his hard work he said, “I have just finished cleaning the cows’ mess. Now, I want to go with the boys (12 &10yrs old) to cut Napier grass for the cows. I congratulated him for increasing the number of cows to 8 dairy cows, after which he proudly began counting all the calves they had sired before adding that each of the cows had just received artificial insemination. With a smile on his face he said, “You know this is what I wanted. At least now Anne has enough work to do and she doesn’t have to look for employment. She feeds the cows and calves, cleans the shed, and milks them while I am away at school. She should be happy because this is enough employment.” Clearly, I was moved by his words and I acknowledged how good a job he had done.

The already clean young boys were ordered to change into tattered clothes so that they could go and carry Napier grass from the farm. Forget about the chilly weather in Kenya and that the children would still go to school the following day.

This evening activity gave Anne a chance that she had been praying to have… a chance to confide in someone about her woes as a housewife in a home that is the envy of every village person. A home filled with peace and wealth, in the eyes of the villagers.

Anne dragged her plastic chair, and quickly picked a basketfull of fresh beans so that I could help her peel them off. Despite being in her home, Anne’s nervousness was clearly written on her face as she kept throwing glances at the gate to check if someone was coming. With a very soft voice she said, “Gladys, I usually work from morning till past midnight. Whereas we have many cows now, which I am happy about, I tend to them from Monday to Sunday…even now as we talk, I will milk all the 8 cows this evening using my bear hands and by the time I am done, my back will ache like it wants to break!” The noise of the gate being opened disrupted us and she said “shhhh!” Luckily it was her dog trying to get in through the gate.

After a sigh of relief, the worried lady continued, “Since the day I got married, he indirectly denied me permission to go to the market. He began shopping for everything in the house, including groceries. My sanitary towels and dresses are all bought by him. If I make an effort to buy sanitary towels, he asks where I got them from. He buys very long and unfitting dresses for me and says I have a terrible fashion sense. I cannot remember the last time I went to the marketplace like my fellow women because he denies me money and says he will buy everything I need!”

I listened with disbelief boldly written on my forehead. I was tempted to interrupt her but because I could feel her desperation to continue the story before her husband came back, I withheld my questions…

”I stopped going to church because every time I want to go, I have to beg for offertory money from him. One day I decided to go to church against his wish and while fellow women Christians were pledging items to donate to the church’s jumbo-sale, I offered to donate a chicken since I have reared very many of them. The following Sunday, I took the chicken to church but was really shocked when I came back home to a night of quarrels and insults from my husband. He called me a thief and said that I owned nothing in that home, hence, I could not donate anything without his permission!”

At this point, I interjected and asked if her husband gave her any money after selling the farm’s produce, milk and the chicken which she quickly responded without a doubt, “My husband would probably kill me if I owned a bank account!” Anne went on to explain, “While women in our country have M-PESA accounts (Mobile money transfer) my husband checks my phone everyday to see if I have M-PESA or if any man has called me. As we speak, my elder brother can only give me money by hand or send to my husband, who uses all the money because he believes I don’t need any money.”

“Gladys, who will save me from this slavery? I had dreams when I came here, but now the only thing I have is the food in my stomach! I am forced to steal rice and maize for selling, whenever my mum needs any monetary help from me! I am constantly worried about my children. Just like me, they live a life of slavery. They never have time to play since they are usually loaded with heavy work after school hours. Despite my plea to them to work hard in school so that one day they will set me free, their performance keeps deteriorating!”

Anne’s story stung my mind like a bee. I fought back tears when I looked at her brown, unkempt hair, which was loosely covered with a headscarf. The face of a 40 year old looked like that of a 70 year old woman who had lived through all the challenges of life. Unfortunately, Anne’s husband came back sooner than we had hoped; hence, we were forced to stop the story abruptly!

While I walked home leaving Anne behind to milk her husband’s cows, women’s economic empowerment phrase kept ringing in my mind. I realized just how many a woman are denied economic empowerment by husbands who feel threatened to live with an empowered woman! Anne’s story made it very clear to me just how patriarchy is still deeply rooted in our communities despite modernity.

I believe Anne’s story is just one in the millions of stories of women around the world who have been denied economic empowerment as a result of modern patriarchy! The result of which her children’s lives and hers can be likened to slavery! Many women suffer in silence since everyone believes they live a happy life. But how can a woman be happy if she is not given the platform to realize her dreams? How can women secure their children’s future if we don’t allow them to be economically empowered?