The Injustice Against my Sister

Gloria Ifeyinwa Ayogu
Posted December 4, 2021 from Nigeria

In August 2018, my sister's husband asked her to go back to the village with her two youngest children. She asked her husband the reason why he is sending her to go to the village. He told her that she was having an affair with another man and that was the cause of his sickness. He told her to stay in the village until he says otherwise. She tried to defend herself but he didn't listen to her. She obeyed and went back to her father’s house with two out of her 4 kids. Her husband came back same day and reported the case to the elders of his clan. She was invited to swear an oath which she did. (The effect of the oath is that the guilty person will run mad or die within 4 days.) They waited for some days and nothing happened to her. They said that we bribed the elders and that the oath swearing was fake. She was asked to swear another oath. She swore another oath and she was asked to take a bath in the public. She did all that she was asked to do and yet nothing to her. All these proved that she was not guilty. Her husband then asked her to come back to him. They reconciled and he bought a shop and set up a business for her. Everything went back to normal and she was happy again.

However, in February 2019, her husband travelled to the village to appease the god with a cow that he was told was the cause of his sickness. After some days, my sister was asked to come to the village that her husband was seriously sick. She rushed down to the village without her 4 children. So when she got home, her husband’s brother took her phone where she kept it. He asked her to unlock the phone and she did. It was when he asked her to open her WhatsApp that she sensed something fishy and tried to collect her phone back but she was over powered by the man. He ran out of the house with the phone. She told her husband and he did not support his brother’s action. The case was reported to the police but they asked them to go home and settle the case since it was a family issue and come back in a month’s time.The following morning, the brother in-law came back and said that he went through her phone and discovered that she chats with men online. She was asked to carry her bag to her mother in-laws house. She went to the mother-in-law’s house but she was asked to go to her father’s house, that if she stays there, the solution they are trying to get concerning her husband’s health won’t work. She went home and came back to her in-laws house with our mother. She was asked to go home and that they will get back to her. In the course of her stay at home, she only communicates with her four children through phone. After a while, she was asked not to speak to her son. Her husband told her that if she keeps calling her son, that the child will die. She stopped calling him but continued to communicate with the other three children. After a month, her husband stopped her from communicating  with her children. He went ahead to change the children’s phone numbers. He told her to stay on her own. He told her that he will come for her by May, 2019, when he fully recovers. This was how she stopped communicating with her husband and children. On Sunday, I heard that he was rushed to the hospital and he died on Tuesday, the 2nd of April. Until now, nobody from his family came to tell us or his wife about his death. My elder sister’s husband decided to call his elder brother but he told him that he doesn’t have time to answer him and that he was busy collecting his brother’s documents which is more important to him at that moment. Information got to us that they are trying to sell some of the man’s land. They buried him without his wife’s consent. No body told her what happened to her husband. We had to report the case in the court after five months. The court asked my sister's in-laws to bring her children to court. The court asked the children to follow their mom home and they happily did. The case is still on. I hope that my sister will get the justice she deserves.

Comments 8

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Olanike Adesanya
Dec 04, 2021
Dec 04, 2021

So sad,
I hope she gets justice too.
Her husband has gotten involved in a lot of fetishism. I believe that's the cause of his death.
He should have taken things easy and chosen life instead of death.
Anyways, that's his choice.
Whatever happens, life's not fair, though, but it's still good.
Ify,
Keep praying for your sister, and keep hope alive.
It will end in Praise.

Gloria Ifeyinwa Ayogu
Dec 05, 2021
Dec 05, 2021

Amen! It will indeed end in praise.

Rahmana Karuna
Dec 05, 2021
Dec 05, 2021

This is truly sad. sometimes there are just no words for the injustices. i too hope your sister gets the justice she deserves.

Gloria Ifeyinwa Ayogu
Dec 05, 2021
Dec 05, 2021

I hope so too. Thanks so much.

Tamarack Verrall
Dec 12, 2021
Dec 12, 2021

Dear Gloria,
As painful as this story is, and must be to have been experiencing it all so closely, I am so glad that you have written it here, to say out loud and have documented the extremes that men will go to, to control a woman. How these excuses come from everywhere and from many time periods/excuses and all to control a woman, this time your sister. I am so very happy to know the ending. It is so important that these "rules and laws" get exposed for what they are. All to diminish and dominate women. I celebrate her freedom.

Gloria Ifeyinwa Ayogu
Dec 15, 2021
Dec 15, 2021

Thanks so much for your words of encouragement.

Grace Iliya
Dec 16, 2021
Dec 16, 2021

Dear Gloria,
What a sad story. I still cannot fathom how things continue to happen this way even in this century. It is very unfortunate. I hope your sister finds the justice she deserves.

Much Love

KABAHENDA KIGGUNDU
Jan 09
Jan 09

My dear Gloria,

It is so sad to read of the cruelty and injustice that your sister and her children have been subjected to. There is no justification for that whatsoever, and I cannot imagine the trauma to her and to her children.

Hopefully, that will be the end of her suffering. Her life and that of her children are much more important than any property however valuable.

Thank you for supporting her and I would encourage you to assist in her healing, getting back on her feet and building a violence-free life for her and her children.

All the best.