Is it a sin for a woman to be more successful than the husband?

gracetosurelife
Posted September 29, 2017 from Nigeria

I feel very honored to write this piece. I got married in the year 2000 in the city of Abuja Nigeria West Africa. My tribe is Yoruba from the western part of Nigeria. I love to be widely educated but because of financial constraint I couldn't get more than an ordinary national diploma certificate in secretarial studies which I struggle to get on my on by doing one menial job or the other. I left home looking for greener pasture, struggle from 1989-1999, working as house help, secretarial job and so many like that.

I decided to Mary thinking marriage will stop my trouble I entered from fry pan to fire. I married a guy I never knew was not in the same level of faith as I am but he pretended to be a born again Christian like myself., I met him in the same church I was attending, oh my God He was fake from the beginning to the end.

17years of horrible moment, after the wedding on the 1st of January 2000, I begin to feel the real person he is. Hmmnnn first I wanted to go back for my Higher National Diploma course, he said no way we just got married, next year you will go., Okay I said. Then let me start doing some salary job. Before I knew what the whole certificate I need to get a job disappeared from the house and up till date 17 years plus now I never set eye on them to be able to work or further my education. At the end of it all, I was abandoned with for children to cater for without a job. No business to do. No financial support from anywhere to help these children of age 17,14,12 & 4 years old. I'm suffering from loneliness. Hunger and homeless. I'm confused, I don't know how to start life again.

My dream in life is to be educated and be able to educate others and be able to find for myself. I wish to be strong and start life all over again with the load of this children on my neck. I BELIEF I can make it. I belief I can still become the Lawyer that I want to be. Somebody reading this will not over look the need to be out of this mess and speak out to tell other girls that MARRIAGE IS NOT AN OPTION OUT OF POVERTY AND PROBLEMS OF LIFE. IT WILL ONLY PLUNGE YOU FURTHER INTO MORE MISERY IN LIFE. THANKS FOR READING THROUGH.

This story was submitted in response to Share On Any Topic.

Comments 7

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gracetosurelife
Sep 29, 2017
Sep 29, 2017

I can't read this  because it's not written in English. But you shall ride higher. I 

Jill Langhus
Sep 30, 2017
Sep 30, 2017

Hi there. Welcome to World Pulse:) I can see that life has beaten you down, but that you have great strength and determination. You will become a lawyer, if that's what you want to do. Don't feel lonely any longer, because you have the love and support of this group. What part of Nigeria are you from and what language do you speak?

Sister Zeph
Sep 30, 2017
Sep 30, 2017

Dear Sister 

I am sorry to see that you went through a very tough situation but I have a faith in you that you can do it , you can still make your dream come through, you are on right place at World Pulse, just stay in touch, and you will find a way to change your life and lives of your children, I am a spiritual mother of 206 girls and I was going through a same situation for years but then I joined World Pulse and now I have all what someone can dream to have in life as a community leader. Much love my dear 

Jensine Larsen
Sep 30, 2017
Sep 30, 2017

You can do it!

Tamarack Verrall
Oct 01, 2017
Oct 01, 2017

Dear sister,

It was so good to read that despite the hardships you have faced, you have freed yourself. Your strength shines through your story. By writing so openly about what you have gone through, others will find the confidence to do the same. Because these stories are now being spoken, no one can deny that the horrible treatment of women in so many marriages is very real, and completely unjust. And now you have found World Pulse. Welcome! We are here to create change together.

In sisterhood,

Tam

maeann
Oct 03, 2017
Oct 03, 2017

Hi Gracetosurelife,

The light of the righteous shines brightly, but the lamp of the wicked is snuffed out (Proverbs 13:9).  What you have experienced will make you strong and stand to what you believe is right.  Hold on to your dreams! 

Bukunmi
Oct 11, 2017
Oct 11, 2017

Determination is key which you possess, with that you will surpass expectations.Thanks for sharing your story. 

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