My little story

Gumato Tinde
Posted January 26, 2021 from Kenya

I was 4 and half years old when I was taken to school. Nursery that is. I am very petite so that have the kids chances to bully me. I was afraid of going to school. Afraid of passing my exams. I loved school so much but some of the kids made it hard for me to enjoy. There's this one girl who fought with everyone. She was tall and super rude. Even the teachers knew that but she ensures she doesn't get caught. She was also older than most of us. 

Those days, when you are not friends with the bullies, or rather you and the bullies don't get along, other kids will avoid you at all cost. Bullies are so inhuman. They'll fight you for no reason. You don't wrong them but they'll just have that deep envy and meaningless beef with you. Bullies have so much to do with our self esteem. Growing up need a good environment for every child to master the "art" of living in a society. If you are not a child of a strong personality, then life would definitely be hard for you growing up with bullies. They'll make you hate yourself. Hate your capabilities. Hate your circle. Hate your dreams and every instance that came up while you were around them. 

I personally can attest 50% of the things I faced while growing up had something on my self esteem. Lucky, I am apt. I get things really quick and learn very easily. There was this one occasion that changed everything for me. The bullies no longer said anything to me. I was in the field with some of my friends. It was on a Saturday so we weren't in our school uniform. It happened that this bully, I'll call her Xyz, was also on the other side of the field. We played so joyfully, shouted, chanted and sang. Xyz realised these and in no time, the crazy girl was on us. All the girls in my circle didn't like her. That days, she was coming to challenge us. The challenge was to score against her and nothing was attached to it though. So we tried several times and finally, I scored against her. 

It could be, that day, God wanted to change things around. She was shocked. I was again pushed to try again and I scored. From there, everything changed. She started respecting my space. She no longer shouted at me. We were in grade 3 then. Everything was peaceful. Our school was a boarding school. From grade 1. And it was so much fun. I started enjoying school. However, I always wanted to be home. Most of us have that "disease". If mama listened to my pleas, I would be somewhere with so many kids and animals to take care of right now. We thank God for our parents. 

So, to you who was once a bully, teach your kids not to bully other kids in future. Practice kindness. The little things that you do on your day to day matter a lot. Learn to appreciate everyone as they are. And you who feel bullied, shed that shit off and go beat them at their own games. You are strong. You are beautiful and too cute to be bullied. Peace✌️

Comments 16

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Jill Langhus
Jan 27
Jan 27

Hello Gumato

How are you doing, dear? Thanks for sharing your story and for bringing more awareness around bullying. I agree about parents teaching their children not to bully, although you have to wonder why the children are bullying in the first place, i.e., undoubtedly something at home is causing them to do this in the first place. Are they getting enough love, encouragement and acceptance. I'm thinking probably not.

Gumato Tinde
Jan 27
Jan 27

Hi dear. I have been good. Absolutely true. Parents don't focus on that .

Jill Langhus
Jan 29
Jan 29

Great to hear. And, so it seems:-(

Barry
Jan 27
Jan 27

Dear Gumato,
I love your story so much and I got the message. I Thank GOD for my parents too :D I love the part you said and I quote "Learn to appreciate everyone as they are". This is something that a lot of parents have failed to inculcate in their children luckily for us our parents have embedded this into us. I would love to hear more of your " little stories". :)))

Gumato Tinde
Jan 27
Jan 27

Thank you so much. We thank God for them

Shirin Dalaki
Jan 27
Jan 27

Hello Gumato,

I love your little story even though is not little at all. Having the courage to speak up and speak the truth is admirable. I was bullied in middle school as well but it did not define who I was or who I am today. I love that you say practice kindness because this is such a strong message that a lot of us need to hear. Thanks for sharing and please write more.

Shirin

Gumato Tinde
Jan 29
Jan 29

I am happy you loved my story sis. Thank you so much.

Nini Mappo
Jan 27
Jan 27

Hello Gumato,
Wow, Boarding school from primary 1! That is like a life-long of learning survival and independence. I am glad that your torment ended when you won the proverbial 'dual of honour'. Good on you girl! I like your message, that the only power that bullies have over our lives is the one we give them. We can cancel the voices and actions before they hit home.

I feel sorry for bullies, though. I have observed in my short teaching career that most children who bully have unstable home environments, and are themselves often recipients of bullying. It's like the old saying: 'raise a child at the foot of the culture that you want them to absorb'. I suppose because if you treat a child like a brute, you teach them to be one. So in a way, bullying is also a problem of parenting, which is why it's important that you encourage parents to not teach their children to be bullies or more to the point, not be bullies themselves.
I hope that you are well, safe, and hopeful!

Gumato Tinde
Jan 29
Jan 29

That's so true sissy. People give out what they are inside. Thanks

rebecca.tang
Jan 27
Jan 27

Thank you for sharing. Kids bullying happen everywhere in the world. I am pleased to notice that you can overcome this. It is not easy.
I think parents and teachers can help the kids being bullied. Don't be shy to seek for help. On the other hand, those kids who bully other also need help to bring them to the right track.
Stay strong! May Almighty God bless you!

Gumato Tinde
Jan 29
Jan 29

Thanks sis. They sure need help. It doesn't help them grow

Phinnie
Jan 28
Jan 28

Gumato--You are amazing! I am so sorry you endured so much terrible undeserved bullying and I am so happy to hear that you overcame this and that you were able to experience peace and to rebuild your self-esteem. I believe everyone deserves to feel safe physically and emotionally and that it is especially important that children grow up feeling loved and not feeling belittled or threatened. Thank-you for sharing your story and encouraging all of us to look out for bullies and to do what we can to nurture the children in our lives so that they may thrive. Take care! Wishing you much happiness!
Phinnie

Gumato Tinde
Jan 29
Jan 29

Thanks dear Phnnie

Hello, Gumato,

Welcome back, dear! How are you doing? I too experienced being bullied, and you are right, bullies tend to be bigger or taller than their victims. I am reading a book called Compassion Parenting and it speaks how the way parents "discipline" their children have created bullies in school. Thank you for speaking up about this subject. We surely don't want our little children be bullied by anyone. You are tough, smart, and brave.

Gumato Tinde
Jan 29
Jan 29

Hi Karen. I have been good. Sure. Am glad you also send overcame it

Tamarack Verrall
Jan 29
Jan 29

Dear Gumato,
This is such an important story, to read how you were able to stay strong despite being in a whole environment of bullying. You show how finding the way to trust your self not only shifted things and created a new way for everyone to see was possible, you turn it around by challenging those bullying, to stop.
This takes courage, and leadership. Bringing forward a challenge to shift away from the violence that had been planted no doubt has changed many lives and encourages us all that we can truly create change.
Love in sisterhood,
Tam