Women Are The Backbone Of The World

Most of my childhood was spent running and crying in strange neighbour's' houses with my siblings. I was the eldest and therefore I had to protect those terrified kids. Home was a house with broken windows, doors and a broken family. Love had been swept into the cobwebbed corners by hatred and fear. My Dad was the problem ever since he started drinking. He lost his jobs. He became depressed. We had no idea of the shadow he turned into. Daddy was gone.Our Mama would not leave him and so she took the blows, the kicks and the insults night after night. He would come home and cuss at us then he looked for Mama and hit her with anything within his reach. Once, I tried to stop him and ended with a nasty black eye. He was obsessed with Mother and however she tried to run, he always found her. Brought her back. Did it again and worse than before. Everyone dared not intervene especially his parents. They watched in silent trepidation. One thing I remember about my mama is her compassion. She was an extraordinary woman with beautiful kids, a broken marriage and an abusive husband. She worked three jobs to put us in school and keep us clothed and fed. She bore the shame and suffering that many abused wives and girlfriends experience but never really reveal even to those close to them(family). I was in awe of her. My heart lurched for her agony. And it shaped my life as of now. You see, she knew we would fight for a better life. Through school, we would advance to the climax of our potentials and become very important people in society. She would be proud of me now, achieving my dreams and my aspirations. But I'm not done yet, Mama.

I am not here to tell you my story of woes and rags but am here to encourage you. That its okay. Whatever you are facing, be it an abusive relationship/marriage, debts, poverty, family misunderstandings or a personal conflict only known to yourself...you will overcome. Stars cannot shine without darkness. I would have never been where I am if not for Mama's encouraging voice. To keep me going. To fuel my passion. Even in her pain and despair, she loved him. She desired change. She prayed for change. She got change. Dad may not have been the best of parents but every one is battling their own demons. It took us years to forgive him as well as my family. But I am human, too. I accept what I cannot change and that is okay. I ask for God's grace to better what I can. Young lady, you are too precious to be put down. Do not let your past determine your present. Weave bridges with the words of your adversaries and slay as hard as you can. I still feel hesitant dating because of my traumatic experience with our Dad but I'm healing. I heal with time. I am no longer afraid of what Life throws at me because I am a woman. I wont heel, crouch or stutter. I wont let a man say "Let me do that for you or Let me handle it." I will seize it in my soft but firm hands and shape it into my ambitions, goals and future. You have to be able to say, "No thanks but I CAN do it.

You are not determined by gender or background or race or religion. You do what you must, you do what you will and you do what you can. Women are natural survivors and fighters. Its our role to help and support, just like a backbone. We battle to save our families and loved ones each day through the hustle. It does not matter what occupation or your status is, you are a gem. You are beautiful and you deserve to wear your armor of scars like medallions. You are a Queen and nobody can deprive you of being real. Respect earned is respect deserved. I hope you appreciate this little piece of hope.


Virginia Bernadette
All the way from Memory Lane.