himani deswal
Posted October 4, 2021 from India

Every person has their own story which is closer to their heart, I also have my story which is closer to my Heart-- The story of my Transformation journey which made me realize Life is about How we want to Cherish it and that I have to keep smiling and being happy Every Mile Of Life because if I won't then I am missing the beautiful Gift of Life given to me by the Universe.  

My transformation journey started in July 2019 when I joined Landmark Worldwide when I want to work on myself however my actual journey started in 2013 when I lost my Dad because if that incident would not happen in my life I would not have gone through the tough time of my Life which landed me on Path of Transformation.

So I lost my dad in 2013. The world turned upside down for me as my life rotated around my family, especially my Dad. My dad was my inspiration, my role model, and he was the one where I got the support emotionally as he was the backbone of our family. My dad’s death made a complete change in me. While writing this book I realized that everything happens for some reason, but the acceptance of losing him was not there for almost six years. And I asked my God that why him?

Once a jovial and fun-loving me, who was daring and desperate enough to conquer this world with intellect, wit, and daring, suddenly became so fearful, anxious, emotionally drained, and my fear of losing my close ones increased every day. Nights passed crying. The witnesses were only my pillows, my clammy eyes, and my solitary soul. I used to suppress all my feelings rather than expressing them to my family. I lost interest in the people around me as I had no career goal and interest in life.

And slowly my Emotional Health emotional start affecting my physical health, I got anxious and lost and slowly didn’t realize how it was impacting me mentally, ardently, and physically and draining my energy. The realization came when it affected me physically. My gut health started getting affected. This deterioration made me more anxious and frustrated.  Slowly my gut health was getting worse.

The condition became so severe that there was no other option left apart from visiting a doctor. After a thorough check-up, the doctor prescribed me some medicines for digestion. After 2-3 months I changed my doctor but I was not feeling better, then changed from good medicine to an Ayurveda doctor where I take medication for. Next 6 months of a lot of intakes of ayurvedic medicines and after 6 months rather getting better I got other symptoms like vigorous shaking of my left hand and entire body.

Seeing my physical condition, I was much worried as I was not able to cope up with my weak emotional and physical condition. 

I was not conscious of what to do. So, I went back to the same ayurvedic doctor being fearful about this deteriorating condition. I was not able to understand what was happening to me. After seeing and hearing all the symptoms the doctor diagnosed me with paralysis that made my hands shake vigorously.

Hearing about paralysis I was shocked of having such an ailment at such a younger age. The doctor gave me strong medicines for paralysis for 6 months, and as per his suggestion, I started taking the medicine as no options were left. I had nothing else to do.

And after 6 months I was emotionally exhausted and asked my God why I lost my dad and affect my health badly. Those times were the most frustrating time for me as a person. I took the medicine for the next 6 months hoping every day to get cured. Become healthy like before and come out of all my physical turmoil. I was praying every day to help me to get good health and that was the time in my life when I realized the importance of good health.

The story doesn’t end here. After taking medicines for paralysis for 6 months, I started getting motions for the strong medicines. Those motions were there for a long and I wasn’t able to eat or digest food as those motions were too bad and that situation remained with me for a minimum 6-7 months. Rather than getting better, my health deteriorated more.

I wasn’t able to focus on my professional and personal life. Didn’t feel like talking to anyone. And lost 6 kgs weight. I got so weak that I couldn’t accept myself mentally and physically regarding what was going with me. Even before eating anything, I used to question my mind shall I be able to digest my food? Even my family would think the same as I wasn’t able to digest a simple, home-cooked food.

Also, the bad phase of life gives you another gate to live. I got to know from another doctor that I was not given the correct medicines. And being suspicious, I consulted with my family and they were worried about where to go, whom to see. I couldn’t take allopathic medicines.

I consulted another ayurvedic doctor. He after checking my Nadi and everything, said that it wasn’t paralysis but the side-effects of the strong medicines. It was a severe weakness due to which my body and left hand were shaking. With that realization that I didn’t have paralysis, I had a new hope to live another life. I realized that the doctor diagnosed paralysis just for the sake of money.

I kept changing 4-5 doctors till 2017 Sept to 2019 July with the hope to get better health. With the hope that I will be able to eat and digest everything like earlier, hope of getting energy like earlier. Have the same smile and happy life

The situation made me mentally so weak that I couldn’t come out of the physical septum. I changed the doctors so many times as my body wasn’t able to accept the medicines. The doctors were good, they identified nothing was major, but the disturbed gut because of emotions I had gone through and then wrong medication was affecting my energy and digestion.

I kept asking the doctor where is my problem. They only said that it's nothing serious but only impacted gut health due to medicines. However, the medicines were not suiting me because of too much intake of wrong medicines previously.

The whole period was too tough for me. When it was the time to look for my career and life, I was lopped in physical & emotional challenges. I was stuck with my bad health hoping to get good health every single day.

In Jan 2018 a very strong thought came to my mind. I tried to become strong enough mentally and come out of my same depressing life and get another door opened by the universe and that was traveling for me.

I was not in a condition to travel at that point in time. However, I had travel coupons that were expiring within a couple of months. I was a bit reluctant to waste these travel coupons as traveling was always my passion.

When I shared this with my family, they asked me if I had enough energy? Will u be able to eat and travel? But I was very determined that I have to go and Enough is Enough, now I have to move forward. So this way I started Travelling where every Mile of Life again start bringing happiness in my Life.

However, my major Transformation came when I joined Landmark Worldwide, where I come out from all Suppressed emotions I was going through for the last years, and there I realized if my Life can be changed then Why I can not help others and then I started learning being as a Coach and Image Consultant were especially to elevate Wome's Presence wherever they go and to make them feel more Empowered..

This story was submitted in response to Peace and Security.

Comments 2

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Oct 05
Oct 05

Hi dear sister Himani. Stunning picture! Thank you for your sharing your journey with us. I really understand your story...I do! But my story is a story for another day.

You are an incredible, strong, beautiful woman! You have risen and conquered. I am so happy that you count your blessings and that every step/every mile is celebrated with a smile. I wish you much health and happiness and as you embark on your future journeys, may all paths lead you to green pastures.

Much love

himani deswal
Oct 05
Oct 05

Thank you so much Megsmueller
Lots of Love and Happiness