LETTER TO MOTHER AFTER MARRIAGE

Hina Bhaagat
Posted November 18, 2016 from Pakistan

It's benign to say that you and Father would be quite happy as your daughter has gotten a boy who is very rich, as husband.It must be satisfying for Father who did find a person for me who earns in six figures and can provide his daughter with all the luxuries of life. But, you know that I never wanted these. Did Father take out time to ask me what I want, one day? The day you call it my marriage was actually the day when I felt like I've to pay for whatever you did for me.

The way you played with my feelings by asking me to shake my head as to agree the proposal was against the principles of love and understanding between parents and child. Why you didn't stop Father when he forced me to accept the decision while pretending that the love of parents for child is because they don't want disagreement in this regard? where were the fundamentals of the religion which you always asked us to follow? Didn't those give me right to choose my happiness? You knew that I loved anyone else and I had certain hopes to accomplish but you all denied because he was not rich. Mother, He was the one who could provide me with smile every time and who could identify my tears in eyes even while raining.

I don't understand how the people who always wanted my satisfication did change their attitudes so briskly. Well this luxury banglow, cars and bank balance have failed to provide me the happiness and satisfication that I might've gained in the rented house with Him. I've given my everything unwillingly to a person whom I did never accept and can't accept for life time. Congratulations! your status is risen further after this marriage but kindly don't do this with my siblings I would be praying for them.

HINA BHAAGAT!

Comments 13

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Jill Langhus
Nov 18, 2016
Nov 18, 2016

Hi Hina, Your post is so sad. I wish this didn't happen in society... so much focus on greed, status, religion and tradition. I'm sure your parents had their reasons for why they chose to agree to this. Do you feel that they had your best interests at heart or not at all? What do you feel that you have learned from this experience? I feel strongly that everything happens for a reason, if it doesn't make sense, especially not initially. May you be stronger than this decision and rise up and have happiness in your life.

Hina Bhaagat
Nov 19, 2016
Nov 19, 2016

Thank you for reading my Dear jlanghus! But this post is not about me this is the Fact happening in the Society and I thought to share it with you Guys!

Jill Langhus
Nov 19, 2016
Nov 19, 2016

Hi Hina. Thanks for the clarification. But do you feel that parents have the girls' best interests at heart or just for other reasons? Thanks.

Hina Bhaagat
Nov 19, 2016
Nov 19, 2016

HELLO! My dear sister jlanghus! About your question i just wanna say that , i don't know what is wrong with whose parent who themselves trying to target their own children by their unwanted and stupid reasons! if they are really worried about their children then why they are trying to kill them by their wrong decisions :/ . I always became astonished to hear about those parents who themselves prisoned and torture their own loves for nothing; and mostly i saw the girls being tortured by their own parents! :( And this is the big disaster for a Girl. For me iam happy for having the great parent and i love them because they're not one of them!

HINA

Jill Langhus
Nov 20, 2016
Nov 20, 2016

Hi Hina,

I understand that you are frustrated/angry with the situation/current system, but I believe that working toward solutions is the best way to channel our frustration and anger and move towards positive change. You have started the ball rolling and channeling your frustration by identifying the problem and vocalizing the problem. So, what I'm saying is if we know the problem is the parents and the old paradigms and systems that are in place that no longer work and aren't in the best interests of women and girls, that what can we do as a next, best step to help them? Are there organizations or charities that are in place in the region that you are referring to? If not, are there charities/organizations in areas nearby that could be contacted to expand their services for re-education in the problem areas? And can we support them, even if it's just spreading the word through social media, signing petitions or donating time, resources, money to the cause?

Hina Bhaagat
Nov 22, 2016
Nov 22, 2016

Dear jlanghus!

Actually this thing is happening every where especially in Rural Areas!

we had to stop it but first we had to start from our own houses or palace, if this all is not happening in our houses or if our house is free from this rubbish thing then we had to move forward to our relatives then to our colony then city, nation, country and finally in all the world! if we start wiping it from our own societies then it will be changed its my thinking! Organization or charities are not enough for this, these peoples are weak by their thinking ! Actually organizations are not working on that fact because they thought that its their daily issues which he will solved by their own they thought this issue is not valuable, but it is! by this issues many girls are taking wrong actions against their parents or sometimes they leaves their houses and Runaway! Government had to take strong action about it. its our big problem!

Jill Langhus
Nov 22, 2016
Nov 22, 2016

Yes, I agree. It does sound like a big problem. So what are your suggestions for change? What do you think will work? How do you feel that government needs to step up and intervene, i.e., what could they do to improve the situation now, or in the future?

Hina Bhaagat
Nov 23, 2016
Nov 23, 2016

Hello Dear Jlanghus

Actually! i have not much knowledge but i think they have open an organization where they teach about that "don't torture your loves by your wrong decisions" i think when everyone join the organization they will able to know about the modern environment and the rules and regulations of life !

i know its not easy for government but we had to step forward!

HINA

allie shep
Nov 19, 2016
Nov 19, 2016

Dear Hina, I wasn't sure whether you were saying this about yourself to your own parents but, if so, I really feel for you. Here in our ivory (glass) towers in the west, so much is "just in a day's work" but for you it's your life.

If you are still in that situation, I do hope that you are able to escape from it at times (like now, on World Pulse) and able to plan for your future.

You have a strong and very intelligent mind and I am pleased to call you my sister.

Allie x

Hina Bhaagat
Nov 19, 2016
Nov 19, 2016

Thank you Dear sister Allie! Iam so happy for your respect and courage! And iam consider you as my good companion :)

This story is not mine but this is the story of every single Girl in the society where iam living! And this is very hard for the girls to survive with that un-justice! And iam very heart Broken for that! :(

Shivani Saharia
Nov 19, 2016
Nov 19, 2016

Dear Hina,

Good Day

Thanks for sharing your story. This is the story of every girl brought up in a narrow lane and confined mindset to the freedom of a girl. Marriage is only thing which the parents feel as a responsibility, keeping in account the dowry system. Because of which there is increasing rate of crime against women i.e female infanticide, acid attack, rise in divorce cases, domestic violence, rape behind closed doors and many more.

After 20-25 yrs of undergoing the training of moral values and ethics, girls are to show it up in some other family irrespective of the treatment and response on the other side.

Would love to hear it from you more.

Regards,

Zainab Shahria

(world pulse contributor, listener and welcomer)

shahzainab5786@gmail.com

Hina Bhaagat
Nov 19, 2016
Nov 19, 2016

Hi Zainab Shahria!

Yes you are right this is the story of every single girl in our environment and we had to stop it! I really feel for those girls who are being target of this cruelty!

This is not my story! but as a Girl or as a part of this environment i thought this is also mine story!

Thank you for your Concentration my dear! :)

Nov 19, 2016
Nov 19, 2016
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