I came back home with an infinite energy, I came back with hope and concentration, with determination to make my own pixel in the picture brighter.
When I was in Portland I felt waves of support and love, probably there is something in the air that makes the people so compassionate and lovely. Even the sun was smiling to us. I heard many friends praise Portland and express their relief being in this friendly city, and they have every right to say that, what a quiet and beautiful place to spend your days in. There, I felt the strength of local community and the need for people to hold hands and stand together. I realized the necessity of keeping strong ties with those who are close to me. I felt that I belong to this community because they made me feel that I am one of them, I belong to one of the mothers in the city: World Pulse, and thus I am their child. I spent a couple of magical nights and I am enchanted. I feel that I can write poetry, had a push to continue an old forgotten dream, a novel I wrote long time ago and did not publish because I felt it was not worthy. Maybe I will go through it again to see how can I edit and change some details, and how to keep the details close to my heart. I loved the Saturday market and the creations of ordinary people, and remembered the local markets in Syria and how I used to feel closer and more attached to the handmade objects by the people, they were unique. My time in Portland was about remembering old dreams and quests, waking up ancient passions and longings.
I left to Washington DC, and it was a beautiful city. We were welcomed to speak in the U.S. Department of State, and I had mixed feelings when I was there, I raised my voice to talk about what my people suffer and more attention and help needed in Syria. How I wished to go to the White House, maybe some other time I will. But my most adored memory is my visit to the Smithsonian and standing face to face with Van Gogh's self portrait, maybe I sound like a child but I love colors very much especially when they come together to form and describe the vision of a human of someone or something. I also went to the Botanic garden, and for the first time in my life I saw a Coco tree, and even in its raw condition Coco seemed so tempting and delicious. It was a rainy day, my burden was washed. My time in Washington was about appreciating my inner strength and the nature of my voice, it was about determination to find a response and solution, and to seek beauty because it is there if we looked for it.
Our last stop was in Atlanta we were introduced to a different side of USA. I was one of the panelists in Womenetics Global Women Initiative which was held in Atlanta Aquarium. Being among many influential and powerful women I was nervous, but watching white whales playing in front of me was soothing and spiritual, then thoughts and emotions started to pour like a stream. We went to Martin Luther King center, and I had the honor to be introduced to a prominent leader of African American Civil Rights Movement, I am grateful for being beside a great leader. The food in Atlanta was so good. I learnt how much me and my mentor are connected. My time in Atlanta was about inspiration, finding new opportunities and shining, the cycle was completed.
The day when World Pulse had to let me go in the airport, I was so peaceful and fulfilled, yet deeply moved for leaving my sisters and family. Finally after many years I am in a truce with myself. I felt so free. I met someone on the airplane who was an engineer working in an elevators company and talked about elevators for three hours, their kinds, their parts and usages, the companies that made them and how every time he see an elevator he tries to know if it was made by his company. I was about to jump from the airplane, falling into the ground seemed more interesting. Maybe someday I will meet someone that talks to me about doorknobs!
I returned back home carrying the energy of all those who supported and cared for me during my trip. Once home I asked: What’s next? I am not worry; I know what I will do when the right time comes. I have many thoughts and ideas jumping in my head and I am in a battle to catch and organize them. I am excited about a book titled Demanding Dignity that will be published on December and I am one of the writers in it.
After two days of rest, I had this feeling that the inner me has changed forever. In a nice evening, I took a book and went down to read in a French café near my house, I think Anne Mendel would like me to read her book that way, it became a habit.
I understand the power of a single soul. World Pulse is right; you do not impose change and do not import it, but train women and give them the tools to help their communities and train other women. It’s up to us now, we were privileged to be the carriers of the keys of change and it’s our turn to pass the wisdom and awareness on.
Thank you World Pulse, thank you Jansine.World Pulse LIVE 2011