Reproductive rights from perspective of a Stateless girl child

IAmBeautiful
Posted January 18, 2017 from United States
Deleted Girl Child Counts Equally

I have been called a lot of different names either to deny my rights or to suppress the truth from being exposed of powerful and privileged adults. Regardless, the truth about my birth is a reality and I am not alone. No one should have to undergo the torture we did. Anyone dealing with fertility issues can be in my place regardless of their race, religion, gender, nationality, sexual orientation, birth type and being silent is not an option, being a voice with infinite hope is freedom. I want to be counted as an equal human being and sister and status quo is denying basic rights.

I was born via IVF/Surrogacy in India because my family was dealing with infertility who lived in the US at the time of birth. One of the consenting adults in the US decided they neither wanted me NOR showed up to India to help with my legal paperwork (although they had shown up in India to give consent). While others may have different opinions about LGBTI, immigration, infertility and reproductive rights, this is the reality for my family and the ONLY way to build a family with children for an immigrant, LGBTI, infertile family is to do IVF/Surrogacy. What happens when one of the consenting adults does NOT show up or does NOT want the child? What happens to MY rights? While people are still working on social and legal issues affecting reproductive rights of adults, I am dealing with social and legal issues of IVF/Surrogacy children of LGBTI. If an adult creates a pregnancy, should they be held to account for the child? What is happening to me is done knowingly because the LAWS have not changed and any child in my situation will ALSO become STATELESS. I have been threatened, intimidated from speaking up and forced to hold my silence, why? If a child is abused, should an adult or spouse speak up? If a daughter is abused, will she be encouraged to speak up OR be silenced to save “family honor”? If a daughter is deleted, will we educate our communities for the better? If a woman is raped and some people terming it due to “poor choice of clothing”, will an adult support her in getting justice OR submit to the misogyny. I am a girl child, a woman, a human despite NOT treated that way. I was rendered STATELESS where I could neither get a birth certificate or a passport or a legal identity to get home (like most other kids do at birth) and stuck in legal limbo in an "IVF/Surrogacy prison" but instead was facing going to an ORPHANAGE. What ethical, moral, legal arguments can EVER justify this? Had the IVF/Surrogacy been done in US, could I have been DELETED and DENIED rights? The pre-meditated actions and known consequences against me are case of extreme misogyny. I see a world where ALL children including ones like me are EQUAL. If you make someone pregnant, you are held to account for the child. We are humans too and deleting us and denying our rights by forcing us into statelessness in an “IVF/Surrogacy prison” is NO way to build a family. Stop pretending as if we don’t exist, we do EXIST and want to be treated as EQUAL humans. Had EQUAL laws existed for ALL, I would NOT have to be sacrificed and exploited. And the continuous denials of the blatant abuse and torture are just as offensive as the people in position of power whether in churches, in sports programs, or neighborhood crimes who deny exploitation and abuse of innocent children. Here is a “Knock, Knock” reality on reproductive rights from perspective of a Stateless child with hope and prayers for positive change.

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

A princess in my loving parents' eyes and NOT a Surrogacy child of LGBTI immigrants as society and laws see me and the ones in the know EXPLOIT it rather than helping

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

A joke It's not funny, its our reality

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

I am here to stand with you because I am a daughter or I have a daughter and we must respect our daughters equally

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

Future

Future who?

Future where we have language using gender neutral and genetic link neutral parent-child relationship so EVERY child is EQUAL

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

A future where no child is discriminated or bullied for a birth condition with or without our control

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

Bigotry and Hate

Please go knock on Surrogacy children of LGBTI immigrants who are the new survivors of bigotry and hate

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

Stateless Girl child wanting education in the same spirit empowering Girls Count Act, Save the Girl Child and I, Belong international campaigns espouse to educate

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

Technology and progress

What good are technology and progress if we cannot regulate to protect children and women?

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

Infertility and third party reproduction to help with infertility

We only help privileged adults, we don’t help exploited and voiceless Children

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

Accountability for a child if you create pregnancy

No such thing in an extreme Misogyny world

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

Indian American to-be parent who promised a daughter a life and a brother but left me Stateless and divided from my brother. This is true in some women-repressive regimes, not America

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

Truth, freedom, equal rights

No such thing if you DELETE a girl child by remote control on foreign soil and successfully suppress your exploits

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

Indian girl wrestler going for gold

Ohh, we just DELETED and EXPLOITED an Indian girl child by wrestling her rights away remotely

Knock, Knock

Who is there?

Lies, perjury, fraud, manipulation of laws, extortion, conspiracy

Oh, privileged people do that and get away with it but is exploiting innocent children and women while discrediting otherwise impartial and fair system dealt with differently?

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

Wanting to DELETE a family member to make a family, does it ever work and is it in line with ethical, moral, or legal values of truth, freedom, justice with equal protection for all?

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

Two males wanting a marriage certificate.

That's a "family issue" just like wanting a birth certificate for a child of two males

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

Exploited child from extreme Misogyny

We are dealing with child abuse in church, sports programs, neighborhood crimes, no time yet for other institutions

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

A sister

Sorry, you don't count but your brother does and Separate is EQUAL

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

A human being

Sorry, we turned back the clocks to the past century like 1896, 1954 where we are still figuring whether Separate is EQUAL or not?

Knock, Knock

Who is it?

A stateless girl child

Wanting to speak up for millions like me, the Indian in me, the American in me, the Indian American in me, the survivor of extreme Misogyny in me all point to one thing, speak up

Sadly, the social and legal issues of dealing with Surrogacy children of LGBTI immigrants in 21st century are the SAME issues we have dealt with before in the past century which forces us to repeat history rather than leave that horrid past behind us. Perhaps, we can strive for change and at least have hope for inclusion. There is nothing wrong in a deleted and denied child speaking up, its the adults who forced her in this situation are wrong just like any other misogynistic act where blame the victim approach has been utilized. Its not the child who is wrong but we need to change our attitudes and help innocent children when we can.

How to Get Involved

If you are a daughter or have a daughter, you can stand with us and support our daughter. This can happen to ANYONE.

Comments 5

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Jill Langhus
Jan 19, 2017
Jan 19, 2017

Hi there, What a horrible story and reality you are living. My heart goes out to you. Is anything being done now to rectify the rights of children that are unspoken for? Yes, I think it's the parents responsibility to show up if they signed an agreement and committed to doing so. Anything else is wrong. However, do you know for sure they didn't show because you were female, or just because they couldn't commit? I'm not saying that they weren't misogynists because we all know that it exists on a global scale, especially when it comes to the majority of people wanting male children. This could definitely be the case, but if it isn't, then you are causing yourself a lot of unnecessary turmoil. On the other hand, the whole messed up legal system, or non-legal system regarding your rights is absolutely ludicrous. You still don't have a birth certificate or access to a passport or anything? 

IAmBeautiful
Jan 19, 2017
Jan 19, 2017

Thanks for showing your concern, its a good start. I have found humanity is hard to come by. To answer your question, my elder brother is also born the exact same way and the legal process of taking him to the US from India is identical because the laws are same. He was kept in the US while I was used as "bait" to "buy time" to take away my brother away from me and my family stranded in India. When I was deleted, all adults in the process knew I was a "baby girl" and instead of welcoming me "home" with my brother, I was exploited. Ironically, both me and my brother are born via IVF/Surrogacy because biologically its the only way two males can have children. Both the abandoning parent and biological parent are males. Why should innocent children be punished for adults being irresponsible? It's bad enough LGBTI adults don't have rights but should Surrogacy children of LGBTI also NOT be treated as EQUALS for no crimes we committed? If a male can be treated as a female based on looks and feel then why can't I also be treated as a human child and sister instead of being deleted? I have found out I am not alone, there are others like me.....too often silenced and forgotten. But we are humans too deserving of equality. Someday! Hope is beautiful.

Mujidah
May 23, 2017
May 23, 2017

My heart goes out to you and I commend your resilience. You have taken a good step towards advocating for your rights. This would trigger action towards the cause and with more advocacy, we hope the laws would be reviewed accordingly soon.

IAmBeautiful
May 23, 2017
May 23, 2017

Thanks @Mujidah for reading and the kind words. Whether laws catch up or not is a separate issue and in fact currently laws are going backwards for LGBTI, immigrants, Surrogacy born children. I am hoping humanity wakes up before the laws.