Being Built By God

Growing up I never had to want for anything material wise. I always had food to eat, and a place to sleep . Though I always was taking care of there were other things in my life I lacked and things I struggled with. To keep this short I will say that I never felt good enough, I needed support that was unavailable and endured certain things that I should not have, and seen things I shouldn’t have that traumatized me. I had outlets to help me like dance and being creative but sometimes that wasn’t enough because I didn’t have friends or anyone that I could talk to about what I was really feeling. What I was feeling was eating me up, day and night for years but The people I was around didn’t really support me emotionally at all, they called me dramatic and told me to shut up. I wasn’t around many affectionate ppl, but I am one who was and is really In tune with my feelings. Eventually I turned to boys, drugs , and partying to get my mind off of what I was missing inside, I was trying to fill avoid . I always felt small, unwanted, ignored and unimportant but that all changed one day. One day I was in my dorm room in college and I just dropped on my knees and cried out to God for help. This was one of those cries where you Just have had it and there is no more strength inside. Those ugly cries lol , but I had never felt that much love in my life, His presence was so strong and the atmosphere so ..light. I have always believed in God but this was the day as a young adult I actually fully Gave my life over to the lord. The lord has been taking me through a healing process like no other and purged me of so much , I have never Been loved like this in my life. He has strengthened me, and built me up. He had taught me how to forgive and let go and how to love myself despite what others say , or think. To only care about what he says and how to overcome my fears and other hinderances. I would say more but it would be too long and the point is God has changed me inside and out and taught me how to love myself and that’s something I’ve never done before