My Journey - It's Not What Happens To You, But What You Do With It!

My journey has been one of extremes. Weathering those extremes has made me who I am today. I have attached a graphic depiction of the pivotal moments in my life. Please see 'Ivy's Life Map' attachment, before reading more. I'm sharing these very personal details of my life to be an example to others. As a woman whose passion and purpose in life is to empower others, I believe I need to lead by example, and the best way I can do that is by being my authentic self.

What I learned about myself in doing the exercise of identifying the pivotal moments of my life is that everything in my life has led me to this moment, every triumph, every failure. And my drive to empower women by helping them find their voice and ultimately their power, has been born out of my life experiences of finding my own. Every time I used my voice to stand up for myself, no matter how small an act or how hard it was, I grew stronger.

I want to share a small part of my recent journey with you.

On December 31st, 2013, in about an eight hour span, I gave birth and had to say goodbye to my second-born son. They are still are not sure why he didn’t survive. There wasn’t one thing they could attribute his not being able to breathe on his own to, but rather a bunch of little things that didn’t really add up. As you can imagine, the year after his death was a hard one. My husband and I grew closer, and then farther apart in our grief. I went through every possible emotion. Every time I saw a friend who was pregnant at the same time, I would look at her child, and be reminded of how old my son would be. I tried to avoid those meetings, because it was just too painful. I slept with a teddy bear, to try to fill the enormous hole in my midsection and my heart. But I think the worst and most shameful part for me was that after awhile, I almost felt a small sense of relief. My first son was around two years old, and I was realizing the magnitude of the responsibility I would have had on my shoulders, would my son Kajus have survived. I was so challenged raising one small child, often on my own, that I honestly wasn’t sure that I was capable of doing it times two.

After that very trying year, I decided to take a trip to visit a dear friend for the two weeks leading up to the anniversary of my son’s death. My other son (and his father) were going to be visiting his grandparents in Europe and I didn’t want to be alone. To honor myself and my son’s memory, I wanted to be in the best possible place for my mental and physical well being. I'm so glad I did, because it was one of the best trips of my life. Every day we fed our souls with delicious green salads and seafood, walks along the beautiful coastline or visits to the gym, exploring around town, and endless spiritual discussions of the meaning of life, relationships, and our trials and tribulations as women and friends. What a treat to be able to wake up and ask what do I/we need today, and to give it to ourselves!

One day my friend gave me an incredible gift. A book entitled, Women Empowered by Phil Borges. As part of this gift, she had the author autograph the book. She told me we would go to meet him and visit with him at his home tomorrow. The book was filled with the most incredible and inspiring photographs of women around the world. My friend knew my passion for empowering women, and her gift was one of the best and most fitting I’ve ever received. Needless-to-say, I was beyond excited. I had many questions for the author and incredible photographer. He was so gracious, as we sat in his beautiful home looking out onto the water, surrounded by life size images of many of his incredible works and a warm, comforting cup of tea in our hands, he told me about some of the amazing women he had met on his journey, and what made them exceptional. Just when I thought the day couldn’t get any better, my head swimming with inspirational stories and images, my friend told me she would drop me at the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation Visitors Center while she went to an appointment.

The center was a large, beautiful expansive space with high ceilings, more gorgeous images and graphics, and the most amazing, thought provoking and interactive exhibits. I walked from exhibit to exhibit, taking part in every one and taking notes, and proclaiming my commitment to making the world better than I had found it. My time there was up way too soon and when I got in the car with my friend all I could do was cry. I told her, “please don’t let me forget this feeling”. My heart felt open and expansive, I could see in possibility, and in spite of the incredible fear I felt, I knew what I had to do - now I just had to figure out how to do it.

Three months later I resigned from my job at the University of St. Thomas to start Find Your Power. We all have our own paths and purpose in life. Only because I have amazing friends, have experienced life fully, have had some very trying personal experiences, and have listened to my intuition, have I found mine. It is my personal mission to expand access to resources and opportunity for women worldwide, so that they too may find their purpose and live their best lives.

Oftentimes people think of Americans as having perfect lives, and every opportunity. Even though that is not the case for me, I do know how fortunate I am to have had access to education and the opportunity to work hard and make the most of that education. I’ve also had the great opportunity of traveling extensively and living in another country. I have seen firsthand how women’s lack of access to resources and opportunity limits their potential.

The world is poised at a very important time in history. Solutions to many of the world’s problems exist, they just need to be widely known and shared. There are many organizations out there doing amazing work, and technology will soon reach every corner of the globe. This allowsfor exponential growth, scaling, and information sharing potential.

TheUN Sustainable Development Goals recognize that internet access is a human right, a tool that enables otherwise marginalized people to share their voice, seek information, enhance their livelihoods, and expand their networks beyond existing social boundaries. And because women are 50% less likely than men to be connected.Find Your Power aims to tackle this digital gender divide, and enable women to fully access and utilize the internet for their own personal, professional, and financial advancement.

I strongly believe thatit’s not what happens to you in life, but what you do with it that is really important. I know how strong women are, I also know that they can do so much with so little. I want to do my part to help lift other womenup and help them find their voices, their power, and their potential.

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