Character

Jafreen Alamgir
Posted April 14, 2017 from Bangladesh

Since the age of teenager, I have heard my parents and also many parents talk about character. In fact, many of the people from our generation too are adopting the culture of adopting and appreciating the importance of character of both men and women. And there is a well-known cliche that “Money lost, nothing is lost. Character lost, everything is lost”.

Let me explain the authentic definition of character.

Being a woman who is raped does not mean that she does not have any character. Rather, the people who question her and her parents dignity. Being a woman who supported and still supports love marriage does not mean that she does not have any character. Rather,the people who react strongly and publicly harass her. Being a woman with character does not mean she has to be a virgin. Rather, the people who question her virginity during discussions in arranged marriage. Being a woman who has many sexual experiences does not mean she does not have any character. Rather, the people who judge her without carefully observing her and even questioning her through each and every behavior unnecessarily. Being a woman who openly expresses her sexual thoughts openly does not mean that she does not have any character. Rather, the people who waste their time listening to her thoughts and grow meaningless assumptions in their minds. Being a woman who lives in the life of uncertainty due to her unprivileged background does not mean that she does not have any character. Rather, the people who disgrace her for belonging to a lower class of a society. Being a woman who openly has conversation with boys does not mean she does not have any character. Rather, the people who constantly judge her personality based on what they see. Being a woman who shouts or even laugh openly, does not mean that she does not have any character. Rather, the people who judge her character based on her actions.

Being a woman with character does not mean that if a man expresses his feelings to a woman, she has to remain silent. Rather, those boys who are wasting their time on girls who would not even have time to even look at them. Being a woman with character does not mean that she has to think of her father’s reputation for every step she takes. Rather, the society who judges her based on the reputation her father possesses. Being a woman with character does not mean that they cannot think about marriage at all. Rather, the people who make a meaningless comparison between morality and her thoughts. Being a woman with character does not mean she cannot choose what to wear and what not to. Rather, the boys who give cunning glances on those girls and prove them that the dresses they wore are wrong. Being a woman with character does not mean she cannot decide how to use her time wisely (depending on her family, doing household chores, or listening to orders of in-laws). Rather, the in-laws who think that a woman’s character is based on how well she can keep her family in control.Being a woman on drugs or smoking does not mean that she does not have any character. Rather, the people who think that her morality is based on those activities they do when they are tired of this hopeless world. So, ultimately, character is not purity.

So please, kindly open your dictionary and look up the meaning of character. Character is having the mental and moral qualities that are unique to an individual. Which means morality and psychology of a woman can have different meanings towards each one of them. Don’t generalize them by suppressing your patriarchal qualities on her.

And to those weak men out there, adopting these inferior qualities of having a character does not prove that you are a good human. It means you understand what the drawbacks are of being a woman in a Third World country, like Bangladesh. Stop proving with your ego that you are a good man. You have just stopped to prove yourself a good man when your arrogance surpasses your thinking capabilities.

To both men and women of Bangladesh, learn to appreciate differences. Learn to appreciate women with different qualities and standards. Be individualistic. Find out your strengths and weaknesses. Learn to face uncertainty. Break the wall that leads to discover yourself. Just stop limiting yourself to the four walls of safety for protecting your character.

Comments 8

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Jill Langhus
Apr 14, 2017
Apr 14, 2017

Hi Jafreen. Welcome to the World Pulse community:-) Thanks for sharing your story and speaking up. I think it's a matter of integrity and education, i.e., teaching girls and boys to be objective and giving girls the same opportunities not only for learning but also so they can speak up and not be subjugated any longer. I'm looking forward to more stories from you.

Jafreen Alamgir
Jul 03, 2018
Jul 03, 2018

Hi Jill, Thank you so much! Yeah, I can sense that I am constantly ranting about education for women in WP community. I will definitely try my best to bring more issues to which I am really connected to.

Jill Langhus
Jul 03, 2018
Jul 03, 2018

You're welcome:-) It's great that you're passionate about something. It means you're focusing on something that you are passionate about and quite likely meant to make a difference in this world with.

James Ouma
Jul 16, 2017
Jul 16, 2017

Hello Jafreen,

Hope you are doing well. Just wanted to know how you are doing and that I am looking forward to reading more of your stories.

Jafreen Alamgir
Jul 03, 2018
Jul 03, 2018

Yes, I am good. Hope you are well too. And yes, keep on reading! Lots of Love <3

Cathy Russell
Feb 10, 2018
Feb 10, 2018

Keep up the good work

Jafreen Alamgir
Jul 03, 2018
Jul 03, 2018

Thank you. :)

Cathy Russell
Feb 10, 2018
Feb 10, 2018

KEEP up the good work