Suicide Is Never An Option,No Matter What life Thrown At You.

Juliana Imoisili
Posted March 20, 2021 from Nigeria

I'm Juliana Imoisili from Nigeria,my story is a long one,it all started in the 1996s after my grandpa was made a chief in his home town few weeks later my sister fought with someone and they came to arrest my mum and my sister,why they where still in police custody my mum was informed that her dad was dead,upon hearing the news she was released, Been the first child of her parents lots of responsibility was on her,the burial plans where made and he was laid to rest.

Life continued as usual,few months later another tragedy strike,my immediate elder brother who was afflicted with epilepsy fell into the fire and burnt the whole of his face,He was rushed to the hospital and I was left alone with my elder sister for months,why my mum was with my brother in the hospital,they where later discharge on getting home I couldn't even looked at my beloved brother,his face was like raw meat,I was so depress in my spirit and unhappy, gradually his face was healing up and recovery was fast,

We where 7children in numbers 5girls and 2boys in all of this my dad was married to another woman and lived separately from us,And four of my siblings where staying with my uncle's and aunties meanwhile I was the last child back to my story,

Upon seeing no assistance from anywhere my mum continue her hustle again as a business woman,In one occasion of her traveling to market she stop by her sisters place and went to the farm with her,on their way back she fell inside a hole and couldn't walk again,we took her to different hospitals and native homes,it became worst,I and my sister where left there to take care of her,at times my sister will travel to buy things she can sell to Carter for us and leave me alone with my mum at age 7,I will be the one to clean her up whenever she pool or urinate and also clean her body, because she couldn't walk anymore,she later gave up the ghost after everything and left me alone in this world.

My uncle came her body was taken to the mug, burial plans was made and she was laid to rest,After the burial my uncle took me along to stay with him and his family in the city,life became unbearable,I was subjected to hard labor,I will travel miles to another village to uproot cassava,cut fire woods and carry them back home with just small bread and water, Everyday I will cry and cry just by thinking about my late mother and the incident that happened to my brother,I became very tiny and depression set in,

It was time for my elder sister to get married the one that stays with my aunt in city and the other of my sister took me along to the marriage with her in another city,on getting there when my sister saw me she cried and cried on her wedding night narrating how tiny and unkept I have become,after the wedding she refused to allow me go back to my uncle's place and I stayed back since I didn't know my way back and my other sister had already left me there,I found a new home now.

Why staying with my sister, wherever she sent me an errand there's this notorious criminal a street guy,who always try to stop me I will ran until I get home,this faithful day I went on an errand when he cought me on a narrow place, nobody was there and he raped me and treathed me that if I ever say anything to anybody,he is going to kill me and every in our house,I couldn't say anything, until he raped me twice,by this time I was scared of going out whenever my sister sent me and errand,I couldn't bear it anymore and I decided to relocate to my brothers place in another city, when my sister was trying to know the reason for my decision I couldn't say anything, because of fear of been killed,

I was in my brother's house when the exact reason why I left my sister's house wanted to take place,this time around I fought back and God gave me victory,

Fast forward to 2007,I had malaria and I went to the hospital after one week of treatment,I went for the last injection,after I took it,went home,the next day I couldn't get up from the bed or move my body,I was rushed to another hospital,I became paralyzed,I spent 2months plus with Prayers and by the mercies of God I started walking little by little,I was discharged a week later,but I was still leaping, whenever I'm walking on the street and people are asking me all sorts of questions what happened to you,why are you walking like this,After the person has walked away I will start crying feeling sorry for myself,In all the times I was already having suicide thoughts, depression and low self-esteem,I wouldn't just figure out my life anymore,it continued like that for years,

Until 2018,After I finally meet my husband,I thought I have finally found love and rest,I didn't know I was in for the worst period of my life,I took in 2019 few months later he became a lier,cheat, aggressive, complains over everything, when I try to talk to him all I get back is beating,I was 8months pregnant when he hit me on my tummy,he apologizes and promise it will never happen again,He still continue cheating on me,I became so unhappy, thinking, which eventually lead me to develop BP and I end up giving birth with CS,

Two months after I gave birth, because of his girl friend he beat me up and throw my things and that of my baby things outside, Someone offered me a place and I stayed in one room with her and her siblings plus my baby,After some days he came begging,even family members where asking me to forgive him and bear because of my baby that's is still very little,I later move back to the house,

Few days after my baby 1year birthday,He beat me up over slight misunderstanding,and I fell and hit my head on the ground,with my left eye covered with red blood inside,he pleaded with me before leaving for work, before he came back I have already left the house,I was able to find a place to stay for weeks before I later got a place of my own,Now am free,my heart is at peace,

I have so many suicide thoughts,but I was Glady am alive for my little princess,it hasn't been easy taking care of a child alone,But God has been faithful.

In all this story I have proof of what I have suffered and the physical injury that was always left on my body.

My prayer now is to be able to go back to school,set up a business for myself to sustain, support, myself, child and my education.

I went to be able to use my experience to help others who are either suffering depression, suicide,rape and domestic violence.

Thank you worldpulse for giving me a voice and for allowing me to be heard,I love you all.

I'm a survivor

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments 66

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Leonida Odongo
Mar 21
Mar 21

Dear Juliana,
You are indeed a strong women.Never ever give up.Suicide is never a solution.

Best

Leonida

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 21
Mar 21

Thank you so much for the encouraging words.

Nini Mappo
Mar 21
Mar 21

Dear Juliana,
Welcome to World Pulse. Here you will always have sisters to share with, and hopefully not feel alone and abandoned. I am sorry for all that has happened to you. You are strong, and beautiful, and worthy of love. Even when there was no love among those who should have loved you, you loved yourself by preserving your life and holding out for hope. Indeed, suicide is not an option.
So do keep loving yourself everyday. Find something to be thankful for, to appreciate about yourself, to nurture about your dreams. Keep loving yourself and you will see hope grow, and push any despair out. You have endured so much, and your journey to an empowered you has just began. Walk it with strength, with joy, with perseverance, and vision. We are here to cheer you on. You can do this, because you are strong, and God is with you even when you don't feel it. I look forward to celebrating your victories in your future stories.
sending you hugs and sparkles :)

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 21
Mar 21

Thank you so much sister,I was really touched by your work,cheers

Dawn Arteaga
Mar 21
Mar 21

Wow. I am speechless. This is a tremendous sharing Juliana. You have shown strength, generosity, resilience and kindness through some of the hardest and most painful moments anyone can imagine. You are indeed a survivor and your triumph in speaking this story and dedicating your life to helping others shows how strong you are. You have bright things ahead, I know it. I can’t wait to read more of your stories. You have so much to share. Thank you for trusting us with your story. I’m so grateful you are leading the way for other girls experiencing similar trials. You are a light!

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 21
Mar 21

Thank you so much sister, thanks for the love showed, I'm grateful.

Tamarack Verrall
Mar 21
Mar 21

Dear Juliana,
As I read through your story, this story of all you have survived my heart is full of sadness and fury at how you have been treated, and at the same time in joy that you have survived all this, and that you have now found your way to World Pulse. Welcome to this community. I hope you have a great time exploring and connecting. As I read, I was so strongly reminded of how women survive the seemingly impossible, all because men continue to be taught that they have the right to control, violate, discard women, and that it is so hard to find safe places to flee to. This is a gigantic celebration, to read: "Now I am free, my heart is at peace...I am a survivor".
As you relax into this sisterhood, may you feel loved and celebrated.

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 21
Mar 21

Amen, thank you so much mummy, it's a new Dawn for me.

Aparna Sanjay
Mar 21
Mar 21

Thank you for sharing, Juliana. I feel dejected that there are many women in many parts of the world who have to go through so many hardships. I couldn't help but be angry and upset when I read your story; what makes it even worse that for every Juliana that is strong and rises up above all her hardships, there are scores of others who do not have your strength/perseverance/ability to fight back. I am glad you found World Pulse now and I really hope that you can educate yourself and your daughter and make a wonderful and happy life for yourself. As someone else said, suicide is never a solution.

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 22
Mar 22

Thanks sister,One amazing thing that has kept me going is the willingness to still hold on to faith, believing in God Even in the most worst situation,The education I never had my daughter will definitely have it.

Shirin Dalaki
Mar 22
Mar 22

Hello Juliana,
Welcome to World Pulse and we are happy you are here. I am sorry for what you have gone through and I am grateful that faith keeps you going because truly faith is all you need to be the light.
Shirin

Zohra Elias
Mar 22
Mar 22

Hello Juliana,

I'm sorry for you dear sister! I can hear you and I can feel you.
Thank you for sharing your powerful and resilient story.

Keep moving forward,

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 22
Mar 22

Thanks sister, forward ever

Zohra Elias
Mar 23
Mar 23

Stay strong dear!

Zulma Miranda
Mar 22
Mar 22

Dear Juliana, I hope this finds you well and in a safe and loving place with your daughter. Thank you for sharing your story of determination and courage. I am a mother too -- and I am so glad that you found the light and strength to move forward and through the hardness and grief for you both. I am sending you blessings and encouragement so that you may continue to raise your voice in this circle of safety and sisterhood. Welcome! I look forward to hearing more from you.

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 23
Mar 23

Thank you so much,I look forward to also learning from everyone here, including you and becoming a better version of me.

valem
Mar 22
Mar 22

Dear Juliana,
How are you?My advice to you is that,
We are human beings created in the image of God and we must win all the battles of the evil one

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 23
Mar 23

I'm very well thank you,No Matter the situations and circumstances victory is always sure for the one whose hope is in God, thanks

valem
Mar 23
Mar 23

amen

Kadi_lokule
Mar 23
Mar 23

you are never alone

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 23
Mar 23

Thanks sister,the creator is always there for us all.

J.Nuttall
Mar 23
Mar 23

Juliana you are truly inspirational. You are evidence of the strength in women. I hear you and I thank you for reminding me how strong we truly are.

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 23
Mar 23

Thanks sister, sometimes in difficult moments that you realize you has strength and the will power u never thought existed within you.

Charlotte Jacobi
Mar 23
Mar 23

Dear Juliana, reading your story I am so sad and angry at the same time why people can do such bad things to each other. Never doubt how strong you are and never forget what you have already overcome. You are a true survivor and beyond that a heroine for your princess and many other people in this world. I wish you all the best for your future!

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 23
Mar 23

Thanks sister,The future has lots of beautiful things than we can imagine, Nobody every throw stones on empty mango tree there is definitely a good reason for everything,the creator has every unanswered questions,cheers

KieraCR
Mar 23
Mar 23

Dear Juliana,

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so sorry for what you had to go through and I have so much empathy towards your situation and none of it was in your control. As a full time student, and working I find myself often anxious, stressed and overwhelmed and reading your story I am so grateful that you decided to share this with all of us, it means so much. I am also so sorry for the loss of your mother and grandfather. You are so strong, beautiful and powerful and your baby girl is going to gain so much strength and wisdom from you. I am a young black content creator and I really appreciate you using this platform to advocate for mental health and awareness because it is SO important and not always acknowledged appropriately in the black community. You are so right, no matter how hard things get, you can do so much good for others, suicide is never an option!

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 23
Mar 23

Thanks sister,There are so many things in life that is beyond our control,most times my advice to people is this,what you don't have the power to change,let it be, because change is always constant, with time it will definitely fade off, when you are anxious, stressed out think of the times u where once in such situations and how you overcome them,the same way this too shall pass,it can never stay permanent,Do have a stress-free life as you scale through life endeavors.

vintagelink123
Mar 23
Mar 23

Your story shows the resilience and inner strengths of women.....I thank you for being strong......and i hope your future life journey takes you where you want to go to.....Much love from the Fiji Islands in the South Pacific.....

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 24
Mar 24

Thanks sister, sending much love back with kisses,The destination of one whose is determined and focus,is more real than the journey so far, Absolute totally on God.

Phinnie
Mar 23
Mar 23

Julian--
You are indeed a survivor but it makes me sad that you or anyone would endure so much abuse and pain! Suicide is never the answer and you deserve to be happy and to be safe with your young daughter.
Thank-you for sharing your story and I hope you will receive support and encouragement from World Pulse sisters. I wish for you an opportunity to support yourself and a community of women who believe in you and want the best for you.

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 24
Mar 24

Amen, thanks sister,By His Grace everything will be alright,He make all things beautiful in His time,the love showed already from this sisterhood just by reading my story, commenting and the encouragement has been amazing, thanks to you all.

maeann
Mar 24
Mar 24

Welcome to World Pulse Juliana. Your story is your power.

You are always welcome here on World Pulse. We are here to listen and understand you. Just like Nini said you are a strong woman. You brought us an inspiration. Continue to have hope.

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 24
Mar 24

Thanks to you all sisters and the oneness and love shown to me so far.

charlenegailtaruwona

Dear Juliana.
I am so sorry that you had to go through all this but I thank God that He gave you strength and you have overcome the adversity. Thank you for sharing your story. True, suicide is never an option

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 24
Mar 24

All thanks to God my sister,I have come to realize that every adversity, disadvantage and challenges are blessings in disguise, without each other's experiences there won't be wordpluse.,He sure definitely has reasons for everything.

justbail
Mar 25
Mar 25

How brave are you to post your story! How strong you are! Perhaps the strongest woman I have ever heard of! This is a history worth documenting, to show how a person could be strong. Thank you for sharing.

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 25
Mar 25

Thank you sister,in times of challenges and battles of life,you find inner strength to keep moving,I may not be the strongest I was only privilege to overcome challenges and still waiting to conquer and overcome the once ahead,we are all unique and different in our own separate ways.

ChristinaGanta
Mar 25
Mar 25

Hello Juliana,

This is my first time on world pulse, and yours is my first story, Wow!! you are a fighter and an achiever, I will definitely pray for you and your daughter, you shine more and inspire others more.

Love,
Christina

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 25
Mar 25

Thanks dear sister,You are welcome to worldpulse,my prayers is for us all to learn and grow,so we can be able to affect lives around us,let's shine together, because the sky is too big for two birds to collide together,there is room for us all,see you at the top and thanks for your prayers for us.

Renuskaushik
Mar 25
Mar 25

Dear Juliana,
You are a survivor, thanks for putting your story and setting an example that suicide indeed is no option. You are very strong women who is fighter. Good luck to you and your daughter. I am sure she will be super proud of her Mom.

Love,
Renu

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 25
Mar 25

Thanks dearie,wow she is a beautiful to behold, I'm the one so proud of my little angel right now,the things she does amaze me at this age jus a year plus, thanks for the love

apadma
Mar 25
Mar 25

Dear Juliana,
Thanks for sharing and I'm sorry for what you had gone through. I'm glad you have that strength and will power to reach your dreams. Keep going!!

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 25
Mar 25

Thanks sister,God is the giver of strength and He has been faithful,cheers

ARREY- ECHI
Mar 26
Mar 26

My dear Juliana,
A hearty and big welcome to the World Pulse Family. I hope you and your princess are doing well today.
I am so very sorry for all that you have gone through. I had tears reading this. You are a beautiful, courageous and brave woman. Many would have given up a long time ago but you are still here, braving it all. In as much as my heart bleeds for the pain that has been afflicted on you, I am in awe and standing ovation, for you.
Thank you for your bravety. Thank you for taking us through your journey.
I send you lots of love and hugs and pray that your wishes come true.

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 26
Mar 26

Thanks sister, I and my princess are doing wonderfully well,God has been faithful, thanks for the love, please don't cry,my past is behind me, looking forward with faith and expectations for the greater things ahead.

Adanna
Mar 26
Mar 26

Dear Juliana,

I welcome you to World Pulse with a warm hug :-).

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad you did not give up.

World Pulse is an amazing platform and we're happy to have you here.

You're brave and you will always be welcomed here.

My regards to your beautiful princess. :-)

Love,
Adanna

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 26
Mar 26

Thanks sister, it's a rear privilege to be here, thanks

Anne-Chantal
Mar 26
Mar 26

Thank you for your story.
So long as there is live, there is hope. So please hold on. Don't give up. There is a God and He has not given up on you yet.

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 26
Mar 26

I have gone too far in life,to give up now, it's not even an option, Because I have seen and tasted God through the journey so far,He His too faithful to fail.

1__wafa__
Mar 26
Mar 26

Indeed you are a survivor, your daughter is so lucky to have a supermom. I am so proud of you. You inspired me to keep fighting whatever life throws at me.
Wish you all the luck in the world.

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 26
Mar 26

I'm the most favoured mum in the world,to be privilege to be a care taker unto such a wonder to behold as a child.

Chi8629
Mar 27
Mar 27

Hello dear friend ,
How are you doing? Trust you are doing well today and that you are safe ? Thank you for your writing , indeed suicide is never an option . Thank you . Looking forward to seeing and reading more posts from you . You are loved . Have a fabulous weekend .

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 27
Mar 27

Thank you sister for the show of love, I'm beautifully well and doing great, hope same for you, thanks

Chi8629
Mar 29
Mar 29

You are welcome beautiful sister . Iam good too . Do have a wonderful day ahead.

Katlego1997
Mar 29
Mar 29

You are living proof that God is real. God bless your beautiful soul. Greater is coming your way.

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 29
Mar 29

Amen, thanks sister

Katrina Griffin
Mar 30
Mar 30

Juliana,
You are an amazing, strong, relentless and resilient woman! Thank you for sharing your story here. I am thankful you never gave up and have pressed forward continuing to improve not only your life, but your daughter's life too! I am in awe of your strength and courage. Just look at all the difficult and traumatic experiences you have overcome in your life... you absolutely have the strength to go back to school and set up a business for yourself. I am positive you will be successful, you are a lioness!

Juliana Imoisili
Mar 31
Mar 31

Thanks sister, thanks you for your beautiful words.

MariaJ Vargas
Apr 01
Apr 01

Thank you Juliana for staying true to your values. You are indeed a gem in this world full of bravery, strength, courage, fierce and love. Qualities we all need to being better human beings. I wish for you and your little girl a healthy and peaceful path ahead. Your strength is a light for all of us!

Juliana Imoisili
Apr 03
Apr 03

Thanks sister for your sweet words,.

Doris Ogueri
Apr 06
Apr 06

You are indeed a survivor, my dear. God will surely make a way for you. Keep being strong and positive.

Juliana Imoisili
Apr 06
Apr 06

Amen and Amen, thanks

Geo
Apr 26
Apr 26

Hi Juliana!
First of all, thank you for sharing your story. I'm sure it wasn't easy, but I'm sure you know that it will help someone out there. Like Nini Mappo said, we are here to cheer you on!

Juliana Imoisili
Apr 29
Apr 29

Thank you sister, Glad to know someone can still find strength to move on.

LSpeaksLife
Apr 30
Apr 30

Dear Juliana,
I can feel your pain and your strength, as I read your story. I'm so sorry that you had to experience such abuse. Thank you for being vulnerable and for not giving up. Know that you have women all over of the world- celebrating the mighty gift of "YOU." May you always feel loved, cherished, and hopeful. There is a great purpose for you to complete in this world. It is already better because you are here.

I Believe in You!

Your Sister,
LaMeisha

Juliana Imoisili
May 01
May 01

Amen, Thanks sister,it will surely end in praise.