Overcoming the odds

Jennifer Chapin
Posted August 23, 2019 from Canada

It may seem strange for many to read about a Caucasian woman from North America  encountering serious roadblocks on the road to pursuing her dreams, but this happens to many of us here.

I work as a publishing consultant with an assisted self-publishing organization in Canada and the stories of abuse and degradation that I've heard from women in the US and Canada is enough to make you weep.  Some write with pen names and have gone underground so that their families, their fathers, their religions, cannot find them.  

What comes out loud and clear for me, however, is their testament of survival, their tenaciousness and sheer grit that have caused them to rise above their grief to share their narrative with others, to help others.  Like World Pulse does.

For me, I was  the "wild child" or "gypsy" of the family in that I never once believed, not ever, that I would have a traditional life.  It was always work and not marriage and children, that drove me.  That, along with a tremendous sense of justice and an uncanny ability to speak my truth cogently and clearly. 

This is not a popular road to walk as a woman, in any society.  

It was not an easy path but I stuck to my dreams, sometimes in moments of great distress and self-doubt, and I "raised myself" to became self-sufficient at a very young age.  So that, now, I can offer my assistance and encouragement to all women and girls (as I do with my authors) who dare to dream that they are perfectly created and have everything to give to the world.

At this juncture in our collective history, we need these stories badly.  We need THEM very badly.  And let me be clear here: when I refer to the need for the rise of the feminine, I also mean a need to create a space for the rise of the feminine in men as well. 

We will all win when this balance and harmony has been achieved.

 

Comments 27

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Tamarack Verrall
Aug 23
Aug 23

Hello Jennifer,
I so agree, we need these stories. Stories of women speaking out against what we have been told is just the way things are. Stories that let us know that we are not alone in the resistance we have come up against, too often dangerous. You show that being our full selves is possible.

Jennifer Chapin
Aug 24
Aug 24

HI Tam, I agree with you. Look at what is happening in the news now, all around the world! Yes, it is unpleasant to watch this murkiness rise to the surface, especially when it comes to degradation against women. The time of the patriarchs is over, the due date has come and gone. And it looks like we are all sending that message out now.

Tumanjong Miranda
Aug 24
Aug 24

Hi Jennifer,
I couldn't agree any less with you.
Thank you for this write up.

Jennifer Chapin
Aug 24
Aug 24

You are very welcome...

Jill Langhus
Aug 26
Aug 26

Hi Jennifer,

Welcome back! It's great to see you back on the forum and thanks for sharing your great, comeback post:-) I agree that the rise of the feminine needs to be in both men and women. There absolutely needs to balance. So, where are you focusing your efforts on now? I'm looking forward to hearing more about what you're working on.

Hope you're having a great weekend!

Jennifer Chapin
Aug 24
Aug 24

Thank you Jill, yes there has been a long gap! Lots has been going on but the cosmic tumblers tell me it's time to be engaged again, to learn from all here and to support as much as possible. In answer to your question, I am also writing. I have just finished a novella about Federico Garcia Lorca, a beloved poet of Spain who was executed by the Fascists in 1936. I bring him back to life, and it is called The Poet & The Angel. I traveled to Granada, Spain to research this book and I love Lorca a great deal. I am bringing this out now because I am very concerned about the "war on truth" and the increased attacks against writers. It was the murder of Jamal Khashoggi that inspired me to bring this book out now. So, I am marketing the book and also immersing myself in international writer's forums like PEN America whose roster of members includes writers from all over the world, and their advocacy work is renowned. There's lot to do for all of us! For me the book is a good platform for me to speak about freedom of expression globally.

Jill Langhus
Aug 26
Aug 26

You're welcome:-)

Great to hear!

Oh, wow! That sounds interesting. You weren't far from me. I live in the Malaga, Axarquia region of Spain. When did you go?

Yes, it sounds like it. Please keep us posted on your future endeavors and how your book does, too!

Hope you have a great week!

Jennifer Chapin
Aug 26
Aug 26

Thank you Jill! I will stay in touch more...you have a great week too

Jill Langhus
Aug 28
Aug 28

You're welcome:-)

Great to hear!

Thank you!

Adriana Greenblatt
Aug 24
Aug 24

Yay great to meet you Jennifer! This is important as I believe that sharing and owning (and having compassion) for each of our experiences of pain we overcome opens up space to be compassionate for the pain of other women! I am so with you leading a “non traditional “ life and feel called towards my work in gender equality as the priority and calling for my life, there are days of self doubt and I use tools to talk back to my inner saboteur, which I think we all have!!! And you are rocking this too it seems!!!

I was reading Brene Brown recently who I love (and her writing might resonate with you!) it’s her book on belonging: “Braving the Wilderness” feels relevant!

If this quote resonates with you, beautifully articulating a big paradox some of us struggle with...then give this book a try:

“I’ve also learned that the more we diminish our own pain, or rank it compared to what others have survived, the less empathic we are to everyone. That when we surrender our own joy to make those in pain feel less alone or to make ourselves feel less guilty or seem more committed, we deplete ourselves of what it takes to feel fully alive and fueled by purpose.”

....” the ability to opt out of suffering and injustice ...is the core of privilege...the goal is to get to the place where we can think, I am aware of that’s happening, and the part I play, and how I can make it better, and that doesn’t mean I have to deny the joy in my life...”

So keep on keeping on and I am with you in solidarity, we’ve so got this!!

Hugs from Montreal,
Adriana

Jennifer Chapin
Aug 24
Aug 24

Thank you Adriana. I think it is a matter of coming to the point where we embrace our incredible uniqueness. Isn't it wonderful that we are all so amazingly perfect in our own way and that we have a unique voice to share? We are unique yet we are bound together as one...it's an incredible mystery to me. Feeling free to be ourselves is the greatest gift we can give, to ourselves and also to the world. Hugs back from Victoria

Adriana Greenblatt
Aug 24
Aug 24

Yes! As I saw your message I smiled, and I will keep this as a reminder for the more challenging moments. “Isn’t it wonderful that we are all so amazingly perfect in our own way and have a unique voice to share?” So empowering. Hugs back!
Adriana

sama
Aug 24
Aug 24

Yes! I am curious about your publishing company. Can you share some info about that with me? I am working on a book and would like to work with a publisher with ideas like yours. Thanks

Jennifer Chapin
Aug 24
Aug 24

Hello Sama, you can certainly take a look at us on www.tellwell.ca. We provide a model of assisted self publishing where our authors have full creative control. I believe our site is pretty transparent but you can shoot me a message if you need more info!

sama
Aug 24
Aug 24

Also, I agree that both men and women need to heal from the damaging effects of patriarchy. I just started leading All Genders Red Tent circles. It is miraculous. The time is now to reweave harmonious partnership between the masculine and feminine within all of us as well as in our families and communities.

Jennifer Chapin
Aug 24
Aug 24

I agree and we must all remember that this is a monumental shift in consciousness for both men and women. I have actually had a couple of authors (male) who are writing books with a young male audience in mind because they are confused and out of their realm with this.

Lisbeth
Aug 24
Aug 24

I loved your post very much. You drew the line. Being a feminist does not mean we are anti men haha. Thanks for sharing.

Jennifer Chapin
Aug 24
Aug 24

NO I am not anti-men at all. I really believe that men are having a struggle with the shifts that are going on with women now. But it is absolutely necessary to bring balance back to the world and out of this everyone wins. In Canada we have many men who are raising their children at home or sharing this with their partners, honoring their more nurturing side. I think it must be a relief to many men not to hold this inside themselves...like it is a relief for women to bring their masculine sides back into balance too.

Hello, Jennifer,

Nice to meet you! I love your post. It confirms that if women in North America have their share of stories of abuse and degradation, women who from the perspective of us coming from developing countries are more privileged in many ways, then the rest of the women all over the world are silently suffering.

I am with you in owning our stories and sharing our experience just as you said, like what World Pulse is doing. The more voices speaking out, the louder we are delivering our message of "ENOUGH!".

I applaud you for fulfilling your dream. I am currently writing a book. It's great to know you that you are an author and have a background on self-publishing.

Thank you for sharing your well-written post. It shows how you master your words. I'm a fan.

Oluwatoyin Olabisi
Aug 25
Aug 25

I do agree with you.I however am shocked at your experience with roadblocks.We however must keep encouraging women that the traditional notion of a woman with a husband may not the route to long lasting happiness.Please follow back.

Tarke Edith
Aug 25
Aug 25

Hi Jennifer
Thanks for sharing this with us sis l know how hard it is to create a space for the rise of this feminine in men , but when we are together nothing will be difficult .it is just a matter of time . thanks

Mbabazi
Aug 25
Aug 25

Sister Jennifer, hope you are doing well!
I can't wait to hear how to raise feminine in male- it sounds interesting.
I love this story. i know hundreds of women and hundreds of men who can't share their stories because of thousands factors! Surely, equal voices are needed.
Blessings.

Mbabazi

Spiritedsoul
Aug 25
Aug 25

Hi Jennifer,
I completely agree with you, and as someone who is not taking the traditional path either, I find it wonderful to read about someone else who hasn’t. Also, there is such a need for the stories, for people to speak up against oppression and injustice that it’s gone their way, in a very patriarchal dominated society. We are free to leave at home path and follow our dreams, working towards a more harmonious and balanced world.
Thank you again for sharing and welcome here also.
Kindly,
Hugs,
Jess.

Jennifer Chapin
Aug 26
Aug 26

Thank you Jess

Adanna
Aug 26
Aug 26

Hi Jennifer,

Thank you for sharing.

This is so on point and something to reflect on..."It was not an easy path but I stuck to my dreams, sometimes in moments of great distress and self-doubt."

Love,
Adanna

djamila ibrahim olame

Bonjour chère Jennifer,
Bien dit, je suis tout a fait d'accord avec vous et je soutien le commentaire de chère Tamarack, oui c'est vrai que nous les femmes nous avons besoin de ces histoires , des expériences des autres. Merci beaucoup de partager.
Passez une bonne journée !

Dawn Arteaga
Sep 06
Sep 06

Beautiful. I couldn’t agree more! Thank you for lifting other women’s voices up. In sisterhood, Dawn