Infertility in Marriage

Jewel30
Posted October 1, 2021 from Namibia

Infertility in Marriage

 

Why is it in our culture when the blessing delays it's always the woman's fault?Why is it the woman's responsibility to seek for all possible help to conceive?

 

Before we got blessed with a child I remember Patrick's sisters sending emails on how to position legs ☝️ after the deed is done so that I can conceive.The other one asked me to be in good books with my partenal grandparents so that I can conceive

On the other hand Patrick had threatened to go have a baby outside wedlock to prove that he can impregnate a woman  

Mind you,I had not even been diagnosed of infertility at that time . After several fertility treatments and procedures such as HSG,I eventually got pregnant in my 3rd year of marriage.Unfortunately my ex husband started having dreams that the baby was not his,wanted an amniocentesis to which I refused and he took the baby to the DNAS 6 weeks after birth.

I had never given him a reason to assume that I am cheating but he just had to.It was so much to take in.

 

Back to my question

Is it culture?If it's not culture then what is it that causes women to be blamed if there is no child blessings in the marriage?

 

Comments 5

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megsmueller
Oct 03
Oct 03

Hi! Good question sister and thank you for your story. Sorry for the bad behaviour towards you, you did not ask for it. I'm sure there are many answers and this debate could last a lifetime. I agree with you, why are we affiliated with anything that goes wrong in marriage, business, work? It's just an easy way out. A derailment from the real issue. Stand your ground my sister. You are strong and courageous.

Much love to you.

Beth Lacey
Oct 04
Oct 04

It is a long history of patriarchy- so unfair and sad.

Tamarack Verrall
Oct 05
Oct 05

Dear Jewel,
This is such a painful truth, that for the majority of cultures we live within this long period of time in which women are blamed for everything, and there is such a fixation on whether or not we are able to or want to give birth to a child. Culture continues all too often to be defined by men. Women are sacred whether or not able to give birth. We are here to change this discrimination together.

Grace Iliya
Oct 07
Oct 07

Dear Jewel,
This is a painful reality for many women and the sad truth is that most times infertility issues tend to be at 50-50( man and woman) but due to the patriarchal nature of the world, women are of course at the receiving end.
So sorry about what you had to go true. Your will take generations to answer, I however hope that one day the story will change.
Much Love

J Brenda Lanyero
Nov 07
Nov 07

Hello Jewel.
It is just a mentality in different cultures...but my prayers go out to you as I have seen change the stories of so many women like that, may the same God change your story and bless you with children.

Sending you sisterhood love and hugs.