Why Am I Not Moving Forward in My Healing? [Svava Brooks]

Jill Langhus
Posted November 23, 2019 from Spain
Why Am I Not Moving Forward in My Healing?

I wanted to share this very powerful blog post on healing from trauma as I think it could help a lot of women in the community:-) I love Svava Brook's Facebook group, her loving content and support, too. She always has the best advice for trauma victims and this post didn't disappoint. I believe these 7 steps are spot on and have helped me a lot in my healing journey, especially building a support system, as World Pulse is this exact support system! Hope you find this helpful:-) From my heart to yours'!

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For many years, I felt stuck in my healing. I didn’t feel the changes I was attempting to make and constantly felt like I was doing something wrong. I asked myself for a long time, “Why am I stuck? Why do I always fall back to my old destructive ways?”

So many people would diagnose me when I shared my frustrations, easily coming up with answers to what was “wrong” with me, why I was struggling in my healing. But very few of them could actually help me heal. It became really frustrating and I was very discouraged.

Now I know why and I can look back and see what piece of the puzzle I was missing. My healing wasn’t the task of these other people. It wasn’t a problem I could present to others to fix, to sort out for me, or to even have specific answers to. How could they? They didn’t know all of me and all the unique circumstances of my trauma. It wasn’t their job to fix me. It was my job. I finally realized that I had to take all the information I had gathered about recovering from child abuse and trauma and move that knowledge from my head to my heart. I couldn’t just know what I needed to do...I had to act accordingly.

In other words, I had to do the tough, messy work of applying it to my own life. But what I was still searching for, even after I gathered what steps I needed to take, was someone to somehow model these steps for me, to show me how. I was looking for a demonstration of these steps in action because I had never seen or felt or understood aspects of them before. This fundamental idea is what I founded my entire career on, providing survivors with the demonstrations they need to connect the “what” to the “how” of healing, showing them how to heal instead of just telling them what to do. It’s a new language for survivors. You can’t show people the new words and expect them to know what it means without providing the imagery, like a child needed to see a picture of an apple alongside the word in order to fully integrate the information.

Throughout my career and my own healing journey, I started to distill the information I was learning into 7 key steps for healing, which I wanted to share with you today. Below are the seven steps child abuse and trauma survivors need to take in order to heal. If you start to apply them every day, you will feel a shift in your healing, with small changes at first and big changes over time.

Establish Safety. Figure out what makes you feel safe. This is your first priority.

Develop Courage. Eventually, your willingness to heal will develop into courage, as you take more and more healthy risks.

Create a Mindfulness Practice. Connecting with your body is essential for healing. As abused children, we learned the toxic skill of disconnection. Mindfulness will help you reconnect with your thoughts, feelings, and body.

Express Your Emotions. Learn how to identify, listen to, feel, and express your emotions in a healthy way. All of them: the easy and the hard, they are all necessary!

Change Your Negative Beliefs. You created these toxic beliefs as a way to survive an abusive childhood. But you’re an adult now. Change your story (beliefs) to what benefits your adult life.

Practice Self-Care, Self-Love, and Self-Compassion. Put yourself first on your To-Do list. Every day, find a way to lovingly care for and celebrate yourself. 

Build a Support System. You can’t do this alone. Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Surround yourself with nourishing friends who support your healing goal and find a safe place to practice your new way of thinking/feeling/being. (This is the part I was missing for a long time.)

Just the act of implementing these seven steps is a major move forward on your healing journey. And even better is joining a group of people that are also making the shift and understand exactly what struggles you are facing (because they are facing them as well), that are focusing and intending on daily action to heal their lives, and can motivate you, as you motivate them. Stick with it, stay connected to survivors that are doing the same thing, and you’ll experience a positive shift sooner than you think.

Healing is hard. Survivors doubt they can heal and wonder if they are worth it. We feel alone with our hard feelings, as if no one can understand them. But you are not alone. Because these steps are more than a decision. They are willingness and commitment in action. A commitment to yourself that requires a lifestyle change, a change in your thoughts, feelings, and habits. We can not do that without constant support, accountability, and finding people who will celebrate you, support you, and encourage you along the way. 

The other group is a self-care community, not just for survivors but for anyone who might struggle in their self-care and wants support in creating healthier habits for a healthier, happier life. This group gets 4 ebooks a year, one for each season, which are each 30 days of showing you guys how to implement habits that create real change, with each week focusing on a new self-care and healing skill. For our example, our first ebook walked our community members through a week of mindfulness, a week of gratitude, a week of healthy eating (with a full meal plan) and a week of exercise.

Don't struggle alone. You are worthy of support and healing. I believe in you!

Svava Brooks has a book: "Releasing Your Authentic Self?" You’ll find it at Amazon in paperback (link) or Kindle (link).

Svava's Facebook group that I'm part of: If you are ready to dig deep and want to experience the daily support and encouragement from others like you, follow this link to learn more: Journey To The Heart Summit! How to thrive after trauma....

Thanks for reading!

Comments 18

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Tarke Edith
Nov 23, 2019
Nov 23, 2019

Sweet sis Jill
Thanks for sharing this very inportant
Link with use .
Yes dear our health is the most inportant think to look into dear .
I believe this journey with the hearth summite wil help many people
I love the facebook page .it is very inspiring .
Have a great weekend sister.
Love

Jill Langhus
Nov 25, 2019
Nov 25, 2019

Hello Dear Edith:-)

You're welcome, dear. I hope so:-)

Thanks, dear!

Hope you have a good week!

XX

Lisbeth
Nov 23, 2019
Nov 23, 2019

Dearest Jill:-),
Thanks for this kind gesture. I loved what I read very much.
However, I got a little confused with the puzzle.
Was trying to figure out the lost piece haha. It's definitely going to be a great source of health if it application is effective. All 7 points are very interesting. I am thinking of applying it and see. First point what makes me safe and happy ;-). I got the answer already.
Thanks for sharing and I hope you are having a great day.
Hugs

Jill Langhus
Nov 25, 2019
Nov 25, 2019

Hi Lisbeth,

How are you doing? You're welcome. I'm glad you liked it:-)

Well, it sounds like it gave you quite a bit to think about? I'm glad you got some answers already and that you will be following it. Let me know how it goes. I'm eager to hear.

Thanks. You, too!

XX

Lisbeth
Nov 25, 2019
Nov 25, 2019

Dear Jill,
I am doing very well here. Thanks for asking.
I sure will keep you updated.
Hugs

Jill Langhus
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

Great to hear:-) You're very welcome!

Great!

XX

efe
Nov 23, 2019
Nov 23, 2019

Really helpful for those who need to move from point A to Point B

Jill Langhus
Nov 25, 2019
Nov 25, 2019

Thanks for your feedback, Efe. Appreciate it!

Ekitah
Nov 23, 2019
Nov 23, 2019

Hello sister!
Thanks so so much for this educative piece. I am carried away with the seven steps of healing. It can be applied to all sorts of life problems. Thank God for worldpulse as I keep learning everyday. You are blessed my sister, nice time.

Jill Langhus
Nov 25, 2019
Nov 25, 2019

Hi Ekitah,

You're welcome. I'm glad you appreciated it:-) Let me know how it goes as you implement the steps, dear.

XX

Anita Shrestha
Nov 24, 2019
Nov 24, 2019

Dear Sister
Very very useful and informative information, it really help me and our sisters of WP.

Jill Langhus
Nov 25, 2019
Nov 25, 2019

Hi Anita:-)

I'm glad you like it:-) I hope you're able to implement some of the tools. Let me know how it goes, please:-)

XX

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Nov 24, 2019
Nov 24, 2019

Hello, Jill.

Thank you for sharing this lovely resource. I know our World Pulse sister can benefit a lot from this insight. It was through you that I learn about Svava. Can you say you have found your healing already?

Jill Langhus
Nov 25, 2019
Nov 25, 2019

Hi there lovely:-)

You're welcome. I thought it may be helpful to a lot of sisters, so I hope that's the case. Have you found her posts and tools helpful?

As far as my healing, it's still a journey, and I suspect it will be for awhile, but I'm always learning new tools and working toward optimum health every day. I hope to sign up for Svava's courses, and even better, one-on-one coaching someday so I can heal completely even quicker:-)

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 26, 2019

Hello, Jill,

Yes, I do find her posts helpful.

Healing does take time. Oh, yes, I know you are actively working for optimum health. I'm proud of you, Jill. Yes, ,maybe in the future when my schedule is not that crazy anymore.haha.

Jill Langhus
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019

Hi again:-)

Good to hear:-)

Aw, thank you! I'm proud of how far you've come, too!!

Did you see her free, 5 day challenge? I'm going to have to squeeze this one in. Too good to pass up.

Hope you're feeling better now.

XX

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Dec 01, 2019
Dec 01, 2019

Hello, Jill,

You're welcome. Thanks, too!

No, I haven't seen the 5-day challenge. That's great for you! Yes, I am. Thanks again!

Jill Langhus
Dec 02, 2019
Dec 02, 2019

You're welcome:-)

XX