When ‘Sisters’ Share a Bed…

Is it just me, or someone else feels offended with the current trend? I have asked myself questions times without number and I barely get an answer that can stop me from further inquiry. My sisters, why? Why are we increasingly beating our beloved husbands to death? Why do we hack them with machetes to lameness? What exactly are they doing to us that does not sound right? Why decapitate their manhood? Why pour acid on his face after 10 years of marriage to him? Why why why?

You may think that it takes a very huge woman to ‘hammer’ a man senseless, but no. These are just normal women the size of you and me. In fact these women are incredibly beautiful. Most of them are generally soft and tender in character; you would mistake her for an angel. But why would she turn into a beast within a split second and almost crush the man she ‘loves’ into pulp? My question is one asked by many other Kenyans in whispers at the privacy of their closed bedroom doors. It is considered a taboo subject. Not so many people would want to talk about this in public and I declare myself a voice of those sealed lips. Yes, women are beating men thoroughly in their homes and I will speak about it.

I recently went to buy vegetables at the nearby market, and when I was waiting for my pick to be packed I discovered that there was a silent conversation going on at the next stall. Curiosity sent me to get near to the three women who were talking animatedly about how one woman had been arrested and charged in a court of law for chopping off her man`s penis. Pretending to buy lemons from them (which I did not even need at the time), I asked them why she had to do that. They told me it was because she (the woman) could not sustain her several hungers. The women explained to me that they too (like their indicted colleague) have many hungers as women, but one was unbearable.

Sexual hunger is screaming in most homes of young couples who are barely in their thirties. These women confessed to me that married women can withstand their husbands promoting all manners of chauvinism as long as they are kept fulfilled in bed. They are not willing share a room and bed with a ‘fellow woman’.

An under-served woman will not hesitate to deflate the ego of her husband. There is enough that a woman can stand and when it comes to conjugal rights her limits are very narrow. In the words of Shakespeare, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’, so why annoy her yet you have the ability to prevent it?

While we talked and laughed with these women, I kept asking myself where the men to these women are and why are they beaten to that extent. I eventually asked them why exactly the men cannot be convinced to be the husbands that they ought to be.

One of them was quick to show me a man who was obviously very drunk. He could barely lift his feet in an attempt to walk. This man could not even balance his torso alongside his slanting head. I did not need to ask more. It became clear to me that men have resorted to alcohol at the expense of their marriages. Apparently these men drink cheap illicit brews that have a major impact on their sexual urges as well as the ability to sustain their ‘manhood’. It is a situation which the man is so near yet so far.

How can a whole red blooded circumcised African man share a bed with a woman that he claims he loves and ‘it’ does not ignite? He staggers home legs apart, stinking all sorts of alcoholic blends yelling and yapping the sweet name of his wife just because he needs her to carry him to bed in case he loses balance and falls on the floor of the sitting room before he starts to pee on himself. If he eventually manages to get to the bed, he falls in an immovable heap and starts drooling and frothing like an epileptic. His gadget is then completely switched off as he officially announces his drifting to another planet by the loud snores. So, should a youthful woman seal her lips and suffer this agony all her life in the name of marriage? Is she entitled to just smell the cake but not taste it? Someone needs to tell the men that women need them as much as they need these women.

A woman’s sexual needs are paramount to her normal functioning in society. She needs to be well catered for in the bedroom for her to enjoy her sense of belonging in the society. Bedroom boredom and wars are the catalysts of the rampant broken marriages of our generation.

Our brothers have decided to lock their manhood swords in their casings. We need them out because they define us as women. We need them out because they are the major reasons that we left our parents’ homes and joined you. Get those weapons out because we cannot quench our own thirsts. There are sexual infections out there and we are not willing to leave our children as orphans at this stage. Get out of those drinking dens and let’s share the blessings of our marriage.

Why would we resort to toys and we have a man beside us each night? Why pay so many dowries for a woman and you let other men eat the honey? Must it really get to the extent of us screaming about it in the media? Heterosexuality and procreation as is naturally understood will soon cease existing.

if the trend does not change, (and this has to be very soon) women will undoubtedly beat, scratch and spit in the face of their drooling male counter parts and rush to the shops to purchase artificial husbands and manufactured seeds that will, through a natural or artificial womb, give them their dream children.

Our brothers need to be reminded that unless they renovate the marriage institutions, they are doomed to see drama. We are not supposed to celebrate the end of heterosexuality yet, but if need be then we must just do it. This is because unlike the days of our mothers and fathers when marriage meant so much to an individual, these days’ women have so many other cares to handle besides struggling to ‘squeeze juice from a dry orange’.

All over the world people take alcohol, but it all depends on how disciplined one is in the consumption and what type of alcohol it is that they consume. Even the happiest marriages have drinking couples. So why is it difficult for some men to balance the alcohol consumption and fulfilling their conjugal duties?

With cultural exposure and higher paying salaries among women, men ought to realize that it is their responsibility to ensure that their wives are well tamed in the homes. Marriage as a sanctified institution is threatened and they better handle it with kid gloves and treat the women as sexual beings who have emotions. It pains to write this because I am a woman.