My growing up was a very pretty one though it wasn’t full of roses either. I went to a very good all girls secondary school and I believed my problems of insecurity or let me call it low self-esteem started from there. The people I looked up to at that time as friends made me to see and believe that among my own biological siblings I was the ugliest of them all. As a young girl, I grew up with that mentality knowing that there was nothing good I could offer anybody even myself, since I wasn’t considered ‘beautiful’ in their own terms. It got to the extent in which I had to question my mum for her to tell me if truly I was her daughter. I carried that mentality up to my university days, where to even stand in front of the class to present something was hell for me, sitting and discussing with friends I couldn’t say anything I just knew my own point will not be considered, without me even trying to make an effort. I will have ideas in my mind but I will shield them behind Low self-esteem mentality and his made me to lose a lot in my old days and I felt and still feel terrible about it whenever I sit and refresh my mind back to it.
Leaving the university and facing life in general was not a bed of roses or a plater of gold. I could not just walk on like that so easily. I had to struggle to mingle with my friends and try to see if I could meet up with their standards. It was a very difficult and harsh reality that I faced out there.
In this my quest, what I also lacked was acceptance, in my mind I knew nobody wanted me and I was constantly seeking for people to accept me and love me and this quest drove me into the hands of some horrible people in the name of relationships.
My realization of who I am and what I posses started show casting itself by 2018 when I met some very lovely and hard working women who inspired me, who made me to see that I had so much buried inside of me I just had to walk with the right people, interact with the right people and get the right information.
People who will make me look deep inside of me and bring out that good vibes that are buried inside. I finally took that decision to break loose firstly that quiet side of me was buried somewhere never to be visited again. They made me to believe how beautiful I was inward and outward and I should not look at myself like worthless, for I can achieve anything if I set my mind on doing. I am not yet there but I believe I am now that shining light that can never be turn off again, that I am ready now to show to the whole world what I carry and what I can offer, I never believed I could be doing what I am doing now and that is telling my story to the world making the world to see my insecurities but here I am writing this story, knowing that I have set myself free and I am finally free.