Don't close your eyes before domestic violence

Julia Flückiger
Posted November 1, 2019 from Switzerland

I tell you my story because domestic violence is a huge problem around the world. It is a taboo topic in my country. It happens in public and no one step up to help.

I met him and fell in love. The first month was perfect. Till the day he hit me the first time. I took all my staff and I was ready to leave him. He started to tell me his story. He was in tears and I feld sorry for him. I stayed! He told me he will never hit me again. Two weeks after, he hit me again. From now on it became normality for me. I started to walk on eggshells. The beating was not the worst part. The verbal and sexual abuse was the worst. After six month he tried to kill me. I survived! From now on I knew he is even able to kill me. I was scared not only for my life also the life of my family. After three years we broke up. You think maybe I was free. But that was not the case. I was ashamed for what happen to me. I cloudn't speak about it. After a few months I knew something is wrong with me I couldn't sleep. I started to drink alcohol everyday, before going to bed. I had flashbacks. Eventually I started to google domestic violence and found out it happens to many others. I found a organisation who offered help. It was a big step to finally call them. And then for the first time someone told me it was all wrong what happen to me. It was all a crime. And I need help. They send me to a therapie. There I learned it was also sexual abuse. Everytime I said no, everytime when I pressed my legs together and he opened them by force it was sexual abuse. I always thought it can't happen in a relationship. Because when you agree to stay with him, you also agree to sex. I learned this is not the case. You always have the right to say no!

I suffer from ptsd. The hard thing is most of the people don't understand it. They may think I should forget about it and move on. It is not so easy.

I want you to know one thing, if a man hits you for the first time, leave him. He will do it again. And domestic violence is not a third world problem. It happens every day to millions of women around the world. Don't close your eyes.

Comments 32

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Hannah B
Nov 01
Nov 01

Hello Julia,
Thank you for sharing this difficult and powerful story with us! It is very brave to share these honest words about your life with us.
It is true that domestic violence happens all over the world and in all economic and social contexts.
I am so sorry that you experienced this - no one deserves to be treated this way.
I am very glad to hear that you have found support and help. I hope that you have some good friends and family around you, and I hope that you find support here on World Pulse from our amazing community of women!
Warm regards,
Hannah

Julia Flückiger
Nov 05
Nov 05

Hello Hannah
Thank you so much for your warm words. I'm glad I found world pluse.
Love and hugs
Julia

ANJ ANA
Nov 01
Nov 01

Dear Julia,
Thank you so much for sharing your own experience openly. It takes a brave heart to share your sufferings publicly. Sharing your story does not mean, you are only sharing yours, but it encourages other thousand women survivors that they are not alone, who are facing domestic violence. You stand with thousand of women, well done my sister. You absolutely right that millions of women around the world are suffering. The study shows that 35% of women worldwide have experienced physical and sexual violence in their lifetime and among them, intimate partner violence can be as high as 70% in some of the countries. It's so pity, that the trust, kindness, and love of women make themselves more vulnerable in some ways.
anyways, I am so relieved that you sought help and undergone therapy. I hope you are recovering your health. Definitely your sharing means a lot, please keep your spirit up like this and keep raising the voice against domestic violence. We would like to hear from you more.
Sending you lots of love and moral support,
Anjana

Julia Flückiger
Nov 05
Nov 05

Dear Anjana
Thank you so much for your support. I think it is very important that we speak about topics like this. Many people in my country think it doesn't happen in our country. So they think it is not our problem. But it happens everywhere.
Love and hugs
Julia

Hello, Julia,

Welcome to World Pulse! It is a delight that a voice from Switzerland is rising up against domestic and sexual violence!

You are so brave for speaking out your truth, dear. You've shed light that "domestic violence is not a third world problem. It happens every day to millions of women around the world."

I'm glad you found support and therapy on the tragic experience you've gone through. If you feel like sharing more, we are hear to listen and encourager you. A lot of our World Pulse sisters here found healing just by sharing their painful stories. I was one of them.

I'm looking forward to reading more from you. Thank you for the courage you've shown today.

Julia Flückiger
Nov 05
Nov 05

Dear Karen

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm very glad I found world pluse. Not only to share my story also to find inspiration.
Love and hugs
Julia

Jill Langhus
Nov 01
Nov 01

Hi Julia,

Welcome to World Pulse, dear! I'm so glad that not only you left him and sought out help, but that you found World Pulse, too. I'm so sorry that you suffered like this. And, you're quite right to say that if it happens once, it will happen again. It seems to me I've heard this so many times now and it truly sickens me what women have to put up with in so many places in the world. Here I was thinking surely Switzerland is more egalitarian. It's been a reality check for me. So sad:-( Thanks so much for sharing your traumatic, and vulnerable story with us so that other women can heal, too, and to spread more awareness around domestic abuse.

Please let us know if we can help you, or if you need more of a support system? You can also private message me, if you would like suggestions on PTSD relief, and/or more private support.

Hope you're doing better now, and having a good day, dear.

Hugs, love and light to you!!

Julia Flückiger
Nov 05
Nov 05

Dear Jill
This is one reason why I want to share my story. Many people think it doesn't happen in switzerland or to people who went to a good school, who studied, to people who have a good paid job it happen to us as well. Thank you so much for your support!
Love and hugs
Julia

Jill Langhus
Nov 06
Nov 06

Hi Dear Julia,

Yes! I'm glad you did! Exactly.

You're very welcome. Looking forward to seeing more stories from you...

XX

Oluwatoyin Olabisi
Nov 01
Nov 01

Remember you are strong, beautiful and powerful. Continue to believe in yourself and never be ashamed of whatever happened to you. Instead educate other women and girls about it.
Love you
Stay Strong and Follow Back

Julia Flückiger
Nov 05
Nov 05

Amen.
Thank you for your kind words.
Love and hugs
Julia

Bukola Olalere
Nov 01
Nov 01

Thank you Julia for sharing your story. You are indeed a brave and strong woman and i am glad you soughted help from a therapist to help you.

Julia Flückiger
Nov 05
Nov 05

Thank you for your supporr!
Love and hugs
Julia

Tarke Edith
Nov 01
Nov 01

Hello Julia
Thank God you pecevered for some time and had to quite .
It is better to be alive single than to die .
Stay save dear .
Have a nice weekend.

Julia Flückiger
Nov 05
Nov 05

Thank you for your support.
Love and hugs
Julia

Lisbeth
Nov 02
Nov 02

Dear Julie,
It's so brave of you to take this action. You are a strong and courageous woman. It's sad you have to experience this in his hands take more courage.

How are you feeling now? I hope you will be fine? I hope the help centre are so helpful?
Yes I agreed if he hit you once he will continue. Thanks for sharing and congrats on your first post. You welcome dear.
Take care

Julia Flückiger
Nov 05
Nov 05

Dear Lisbeth
I'm good now. You know what the good thing is when you are completly broken? You can start from zero. You are forced to start over. And at the end you are stronger than ever before. I'm glad I went through therapy I learned a lot about myself. Thank you for your support. I'm glad I found world pluse!
Love and hugs
Julia

Lisbeth
Nov 05
Nov 05

Yeah I loved that spirit. Keep it up!
Have a great day.
Hugs

Anita Shrestha
Nov 02
Nov 02

Dear Julia
It is really sad news, but you shared that is great things.

Julia Flückiger
Nov 05
Nov 05

Thank you Antia.
Love and hugs
Julia

Spiritedsoul
Nov 02
Nov 02

Hi Julia,
Thank you for sharing such a difficult story with us I’m sorry you went through such a traumatic time, nobody deserves to be treated like that. I am glad you have found some support, I hope you have friends and family around you, sending you lots of hugs,
Jess.

Julia Flückiger
Nov 05
Nov 05

Dear Jess
Thank you for your kind words.
Love and hugs
Julia

Anum Shakeel
Nov 04
Nov 04

It is not so easy. Agreed. But time will heal everything. I am really sorry to hear that you had to face this. Please talk to us. We all are here whenever you need to talk about your pain. We all are praying for you. More power to you my love.

Julia Flückiger
Nov 05
Nov 05

Time heals a lot this is true. But wasted time comes never back. Thank for the kind words.
Love and hugs
Julia

Doreen Bieri
Nov 05
Nov 05

Wahoo Julia this for sharing this with us. Very touching

Tamarack Verrall
Nov 06
Nov 06

Dear Julia,
Your words are so important and your freedom and trust in your own wisdom and strength, and your words to all women that we have a right to live free of violence, are so important. Until all governments make this violence illegal and put a stop to it I believe that at the least organizations like the one you found should be well funded, along with individual funding for any and every woman healing from this violence "I found a organization who offered help". So true that this violence against us women and girls is everywhere.
Your advice is powerful: "You always have the right to say no!" "I want you to know one thing, if a man hits you for the first time, leave him. He will do it again. And domestic violence is not a third world problem. It happens every day to millions of women around the world. Don't close your eyes".
In sisterhood,
Tam

lizzymark
Nov 06
Nov 06

Julia,so sorry about all that happened to you. That shouldn't have happened,its good you talked about it to be free. Be strong it will pass you are loved.

esther atosha
Nov 08
Nov 08

is rally sad what happened to you!
keep knowing that you're strong , intelligent, brave and beautifull . forward ever and backward never ! the fure is you!
welcome to worldpulse family!

carolenacouey
Nov 08
Nov 08

I just joined this APP today! I looked up this category and scrolled upon this story. Julia, you are so strong and amazing. Thank you for sharing this heart-aching story. I am only 18 but my very first relationship, he was actually abusive so I understand. I left him right away but will never forget his words and hits. My now boyfriend who I have been with for 5 years, has helped me. Stay strong. Stay beautiful.

maeann
Nov 08
Nov 08

Welcome to World Pulse Julia.

Thank you for having a courage to share your story. I hope that you that the therapy helped you to recover. How are you doing now? I hope you became a strong woman as before. And the experienced you went through can be used to also strengthen other women who went through the same struggle.

Basudha Modak
Nov 20
Nov 20

This story reduced me to tears .Coming from my country of birth,I have seen this happening everywhere ,and still continuing as the women is always thought to be at fault .I appreciate your courage and remember if you ever feel like talking you have me .I understand absolutely the pain .

Queen Sheba D Cisse
Dec 02
Dec 02

Dear Julia, thanks for having the courage and to share your story.
Yes domestic violence is more common than we can ever imagine. Thank GOD for the help and support you have received and hopefully to continue to receive from dear supporting Sisters here at World Pulse.
From now to a brighter future without Domestic Violence. We stand with you!

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