My baby

Katherine Kinney
Posted February 25, 2018

When I was much younger, my uncle raped me. This sent me into spiral depression and into the arms of Ivan, my ex-fiance. He was sweet at first until all the sweet became sour. He would tear me down so I didn't feel like I could be better than dirt. He would hit me when I would ask questions, or when I wanted food. I lost almost all my weight, and when I didn't want to have sex, he would take it, no matter what. After a year of this we became engaged and everything seemed to right itself, we were happy again. This was a false assumption as he slipped back into what he was before. Then, a miraculous thing happened, I found out I was pregnant. I was happy to start a chapter of being a mom, unfortunately that wasn't his plan. Only a week after I found out, he pushed me down a flight of stairs and I instantly lost the baby. Beside all the physical toll my body endured, my mental wellbeing suffered. I am still dealing with this today and I have to live day by day.

This story was submitted in response to You Are a Silence Breaker.

Comments 4

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Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018

Oh my! The cycle of abuse. This is so sad. So sorry. Some men are actual monsters. I hope that you have found peace and your healing.

Flee from violent men, thats always my advise to our sisters.

Jill Langhus
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018

Hi Katherine. Welcome to the World Pulse community! Thanks for sharing and contributing your sad story for the World Pulse story awards. I hope you have left this man so he can no longer harm you in any way, mentally or physically? How long ago did you lose your child? I'm so sorry for your loss and what you had to endure.

Karen QuiƱones-Axalan
Mar 10, 2018
Mar 10, 2018

Hello, Katherin,

I am so sorry for your loss. I read your post a week ago, but instead of commenting here, I wept. Your story, along with the confessions of our World Pulse sisters, inspired me to write this piece.

I dedicate it to you and to the rest of the women who were sexually abused:

Thank you for sharing. May you find healing.

Ngala Nadege
Dec 15, 2018
Dec 15, 2018

OMG ! Am so sorry for your loss. Its really bad sometimes I wonder why Eve were not created before Adam. That will have caused some of these men to understand what it feels like to always be second. Even the Bible doesn't accept divorce but if its the one that will kill you please flee from it. Domestic violence to me is the worst form of violence. Now its your baby who will be next? See a counselor and if it doesn't work ,do as your heart wants.