Time doesn't heal but it teaches you to live with the pain

Kefiloe moyo
Posted May 12, 2021 from Zimbabwe

I had a rough upbringing from my family members to my stepmom . I suffered a lot that my heart is full of hatred still today , I was called names , beaten to death, raped , mocked , chased out of my home, they said I am cursed I should also die like my mother. Have on one everyday people see me smile but what they don't know is I'm smiling through the pain . They said i wont pass but I made but failed to continue with my education studies because I can't afford . I'm sitting and crying everyday wishing to go to school and be myself because when I'm at school I know I'm fighting do my future no one will take that away from me but everyday Im reminded of the pains I went through I thought I was bearing them because I will make it but no it seems it wasn't worth it the only thing that keeps me going is novels because they give me hope that one day my story will have a happy ending but till when will I keep going , I have been too strong enough I have reached the limit I can't go on I feel like dying .... After everything I have been through there is no change it gets worse

Comments 13

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rebecca.tang
May 12
May 12

I am sorry to hear your story. Is it possible to seek any help from NGO in your community or school? I believe there is someone can help you. Don't hesitate to seek for help!
Be strong! You can overcome the difficult situation. Never give up!
May Almighty God bless you!

Kefiloe moyo
May 13
May 13

I have applied in most NGOs but no reply and no help . I guess I will survive n continue living with the pain

Busayo Obisakin
May 13
May 13

Dear Sister,
I am so sorry hearing your story. Please what country are you and what part so that we can contact Sisters there and NGOs that can assist you. Please don't give up, help shall surely come
Love
Busayo

Kefiloe moyo
May 13
May 13

I'm from Zimbabwe

Susu Mohamed
May 14
May 14

Kefiloe, I am very sorry what happened to you my sister this life will continue we don’t know every person his death never give up you are not alone be strong think positive you are beautiful because you are women I know you are very strong you wrote us this message, still you are strong you can solve every problem please could you provide us your contact? to get more counselling my world pulse sisters.
much love
susu

Kefiloe moyo
May 13
May 13

Thank you very much for the support it took a lot for me to write and the way I was emotional I thought I won't finish, I was also afraid of the judgement

Olutosin
May 13
May 13

This is heartbreaking. I am very sorry it happened to you. May Almighty God send helpers to you. Amen.

Kefiloe moyo
May 13
May 13

Thank you very much for the support

Beth Lacey
May 16
May 16

Please don't give up. Your World Pulse sisters are here for you and, as you see, want to help you

Nini Mappo
May 17
May 17

Dear Kefiloe,
I am so sorry that so much was taken from you through the abuse you suffered. I know it's hard. It's even harder when it feels like you are all alone in the world. But you have found us, a sisterhood of warmth and friendship. You are alone no more, and I can see that some sisters here have begun to point you towards help.

Please know that even though your step mom treated you with disdain and hatred, you don't have to let her hate transfer into your pure and beautiful heart. You can stop giving her and her hate free room and board in your heart. and release her. She had power over you when you lived under her, but by continuing to hate her you continue giving her power to fill you with the hopelessness and pain that she filled your childhood with.

If you feel like you can't yet forgive her, that's OK. but you can choose to take your life back from her. Live it in the joy that she thought you could never have, a joy she thought you were never worthy of. And perhaps you might beging to find the inspiration to move forward, find a pathway to a fulfilling life, and live joyfully, unappologetically, and reclaim the life you were denied.

But please don't give up. It might be that you are approaching the bend on your road that has been straight and painful for so long, a bend that will reveal lush green places of rest and comfort, peace and healing. There, you can step on the grass barefoot, close your eyes and let the grass tickle your feet. There you can laugh like a child again, a loved, carefree, precious child as your birth mother sees you every time. if you close your eyes, and see yourself in that place, please keep walking, because the place will only draw nearer with every resilient, hope-filled step you take.

big hugs and sparkles my sister.

Kefiloe moyo
May 17
May 17

I have tried several times but every time I close my eyes I see that man taking my innocent away and all the terrible words said to me that I should have died with my mother. Thank you sisters for the support because I was afraid of the judgement and criticism . Thank you a lot to you all I now believe one I will get out of the dark place. And my dream is help all the kids who suffered like me

Nini Mappo
May 18
May 18

No problem, healing is a journey, and sometimes we are just not ready so you can take it at your own pace. The incredible thing is that no one else can choose healing for another person. It is simply something someone has to do for themselves when they feel ready to plant new truths in the places where lies and pain reside...ready to forgive the past and look forward to the future. It's like a special challenge we all get with all the baggage that weigh us down....a lot like a face-off between light and darkness, and when we choose healing, it is oh so empowering! So I hope you feel ready one day.

Maybe you can read some of the healing stories of the incredible warrior world Pulse sisters from Cameroon and the Democratic Republic of the Congo who have endured so much abuse through years of conflict. But who shook it it off to become change-makers in their own communities fighting against the very actions and practices that hurt them. Perhaps reading about the resilience of fellow women who have survived some of the abuses and violence you have might help as you commiserate together through loss, despair, hope, and rebuilding.

Kefiloe moyo
May 18
May 18

Thank you for the support . I will take one day at a time. The way I love reading. Novels have become my reality escape because most of the girls in the novels had a tough upbringing so they give me hope that one day someone will help me go back to school because that's my wish only and make a change in the world so I have hope that one day I will have my happily ever after. I will the stories that k you