How I triumphed from a Rejected Teen Mother to a Role Model by using my voice and inner strength



My son has been a strong pillar of support.Here he was supporting my book launch in New York to go smoothly.
My son has been a strong pillar of support.Here he was supporting my book launch in New York to go smoothly.
Here with my son graduating from nursing school with a Bachelor of science degree in nursing with Honors.He has been on the honor role,dean's list and has been class valedictorian since he started school.How God works is something we can never imagine.
Here with my son graduating from nursing school with a Bachelor of science degree in nursing with Honors.He has been on the honor role,dean's list and has been class valedictorian since he started school.How God works is something we can never imagine.
Empowering girls in my community
Empowering girls in my community
Empowering women leaders in my country
Empowering women leaders in my country
Here spending some quality time with children at Abango orphanage Bamenda Cameroon
Here spending some quality time with children at Abango orphanage Bamenda Cameroon

Having a child out of wedlock and as a teenager was a taboo and not acceptable in my community of Bawock- Cameroon. I was rejected and treated like an outcast which greatly damaged my self-worth. But with family support and my personal belief and determination, I became a role mode for others.



My story.



On that special evening when my son was born, I was just 13 years old and six months pregnant. My water broke but I didn’t know what it was. Everyone had just retired to sleep when all of a sudden I told my father I needed to urinate. He walked me outside as we had no toilets inside the house. A few minutes later the frequency changed and I needed to urinate again only this time I couldn’t get out of bed. My father and I didn’t know I was in labor but my mother knew exactly what was happening. My son was about to come into the world prematurely in a village with no hospitals, electricity or ambulance services. My mother got up and, in her panic, prayed hard but also started preparing for the worst. Soon I felt my son’s one foot and screamed. My father passed out and my mother took over the delivery. With no gloves or time to think, she put her hand right inside and got another tiny foot and pulled the baby out. But the head remained stuck. My mother instructed my now-revived father to press my stomach so that the baby’s head could come out. His body was almost lifeless as he had inhaled so much amniotic fluid. My mother threw cold water on him and there was a sign of life. She cut the [ll2]umbilical cord, wrapped him in very thick blankets and handed him to our neighbor to hold while she waited for the placenta, but it wouldn’t come out. She ordered my father to take me on his motor cycle to the health center two hours away on bad roads. When we arrived, there was no one there to attend to me so we set off again for a five-hour journey to the big city hospital where I was taken straight to the delivery room to remove the placenta. My son was placed in an incubator and tubes connected from his nostril to his stomach where he was fed with breast milk I begged off other mothers for three and a half months since I was not yet producing any.



Rejected by my community



During this time my family made so many sacrifices to make sure my son and I were fine. Almost four months after his birth, my son was ready to return home. But in my village, where having a child out of wedlock is considered taboo, my son and I were ostracized. Moreover, he was born legs first which many believed meant he was a witch and must be killed.



I was rejected by girls whose mothers banned them from being friends with me. My son was called a bastard. My self-worth plummeted and I was constantly insecure. I felt trapped and scared.



But one day, so tired of fighting with myself, I decided to turn my pain around asking myself why was I created and what is my life’s purpose? I also started keeping a journal as a means of release as my subject was taboo and I couldn’t discuss it with people in my community. But journaling was very therapeutic and allowed me to heal. Gradually, I noticed my journal was becoming a journey, not just a simple destination. I’d complete two to three journals a week. They were thick and full and ripe with feelings and uplifting thoughts. My own words became an inspiration to me as I read from my journal whenever I was down. I came to the wonderful self-realization that I am not a mistake, neither useless nor a failure, or any of the other names I was called.



I wish there was a book like this when I was growing up. I had so many different struggles centered around negative belief systems that were the result of what others said about and to me. This is a universal struggle testified by friends who read my writings. Then I knew I was not alone. But how could I combat this? How could empower myself and the generation to come.



Becoming a role model



I made a pact to share my story with others because I believe only shared experiences can help. In order to reach women and girls globally, I started writing inspirational articles on self-esteem and empowerment for online magazines and local newspapers. But with an insatiable thirst for change and action, I took a step further and published three books in a series called False Labels in 2012, which are now are available on Amazon and in many schools in Cameroon, Zimbabwe and other parts of the world. I also designed a workshop curriculum that could be used in schools, churches and women’s groups to teach self-esteem building and other empowerment related issues. Digital media, gave me the opportunity to share my story with others worldwide and has ever since helped other women to use their voices too.



Today I am a nurse in one of the greatest countries in the world.



My son who was also rejected and was even supposed to be killed and thrown away as per the culture of my people is a healthy intelligent young man and a nurse with a BSN HON in nursing.



I am building a movement as a change maker in my native country and have created an inclusive 3-day annual empowerment conference for teen mothers, persons with disabilities and the general public.



When I had my son, I had no pads and there was no opportunity to buy any so I missed school often. As a result, I started the KujaPads project to end menstrual taboos and stigmas and collect One Million Pads for Progress to help girls from poor homes in Cameroon stay on track in school during their monthly period. We do school visits where we donate sanitary pads to girls and offer empowerment workshops on self-esteem and menstrual hygiene management.



When I return to the community where I was rejected, most people come to see, greet and learn from me. Many parents have asked for forgiveness and want their daughter to be like me. Ironically, I have become a role model.



Moral lesson



I never gave up on my life, but stood strong and very determined turn my life around for the best.



Never get stuck in traditional beliefs that are not scientifically proven. Native beliefs would have killed my son if I had allowed them to conquer me



Teen mothers should not heed to society but create their own paths and bring their own brand of beauty into the world by believing in themselves.



Parents should not reject their daughters but continue to support them with love and compassion, as my parents did.



Learn to speak out either verbally or in writing. I redeemed myself and found healing when I started using my voice to write and speak to other women. I became empowered when I started empowering others.



My life is my message to the world and is enriched and fulfilled each time I empower a soul.








http://www.falselabelseries.biz/

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