When culture hurts

I was an early developer, \"bloomed early.\" In my mother's culture thiswas unheard of. Growing breasts at that tender age is a sign that you may be in danger of being harassed by men.

At the age of 9 I already had boobs that threatened to spike my dresses. Fat was beginning to take shape on all contours.My parents noticed but didn't say a thing to me.Whether my mum was worried or not ,I could never tell.I was even oblivious of the fact that I was fast transitioning from being a little girl to a 'girl-woman'...

My maternal grandmother's sister(gogo) visited us one day and was shocked to see me.She quickly called my mother and told her something had to be done before I was raped or taken advantage of by any men all over. My mum just said I was OK,but gogo insisted and asked my mum to give her 'ndiro inodyirwa nadaddy'- my father's favourite plate.We didn't really have such a thing ,my dad never fussed about having a plate of his own!She also asked for a cooking stick(mugoti we sadza).She told me that she was sending back my boobs to where they had come from.I was puzzled and said 'but gogo this is how everyone of my friends looks like.' She grabbed me,removed my clothes and \"started sending my boobs to where they had come from\", she pressed them hard using the mugoti and 'dad's plate'.I was really disturbed!

From that day I became conscious of how I looked.I developed a hunch-back trying to hide my chest.The bubbly little girl was the one they had sent packing,my boobs kept spiking forward.

My parents realised my esteem had taken a nosedive and quickly intervened.They called me for a meeting(we had many of those-pardon me if I refuse to have any with you now Lol).They asked me why I was unhappy, I told them how gogo had made me feel abnormal,how I disliked my body.Gogo in her love,had not only hurt me physically (the process was painful) but emotionally and psychologically.My dad was puzzled-he hadn't known.They both told me how much they loved me and how from that day on they would protect me from any cultural misconceptions. We had our first sex education and for those who know me,know that I am friends with my parents.

From that day on,I began to bloom ,I lost all inhibitions and became a wild dreamer whose dreams scare me to this day. I believe in myself so much and also believe in the capabilities of others.

Why am I telling you all this?It's a busy world ,sometimes parents or guardians don't see their children for a time,but when you are there take time to communicate with your children. Check their self esteem and build them from an early age.Most bullies become such because of neglect, some are also bullied but never report because their parents are too busy to notice.

Don't give your responsibility to give your children sex education to schools and churches.Let all others augment what you have given.Open your doors to your children and FINALLY let's throw away cultural beliefs that are detrimental to our society.