WHY DO RAPISTS RAPE?

Latoria
Posted June 11, 2019 from Nigeria

Rape is a type of sexual assault, according to Wikipedia which usually involves sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without the person's consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority, or against a person who is incapable of giving valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, has an intellectual disability or is below the legal age of consent. According to Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, it's a forced sexual intercourse including vaginal, anal or oral penetration.

It mostly occurs between people who know each other or one another. I've been a victim of sexual violence right from when I was a child and I can say all of them are perpetrated by known people. They are people I know. And their attempts weren't a function of what I wore; staying out late or whatever I was doing with them. My parents wouldn't have believed me though because they didn't and don't look like rapists. I mean do rapists have a particular look? Even if they believed, my parents would have restricted me to a lot of things which of course wouldn't stop them from coming back. Hence, it's high time we stopped blaming the victims in respect to my previous post. These victims are just innocent. Would you blame a 5-12 year old for being raped? What would they wear that would arouse the perpetrators in any way?

Rape is classified based on the circumstance in which it occurs, by the identity or characteristics of the victim, and by the identity or characteristics of the perpetrator. The type of rape that broadly covers acquaintance rape and Drug Facilitated Sexual Assault (DFSA) is called Date Rape. Here, acquaintance rape is a non-domestic rape committed by someone who knows the victim. The victim can be schoolmates, friends, family and the likes while DFSA is where the perpetrator intentionally drugs the victim with a date rape drug so that they are incapacitated. That is, acquaintance rape is done without incapacitating the person involved while DFSA is done by incapacitating them.

Gang rape occurs when more than a perpetrator rapes a victim. Prison rape occurs when a prison mate rapes the other. It's usually a non-heterosexual act. Serial rape occurs when the perpetrator rapes the victim over time. Most times, the perpetrators are not known to the victims. Although they know them but they don't disclose themselves. War rape occurs when soldiers and the likes forcefully have sex with women and girls in war. Stranger rape occurs when the perpetrators don't know the victims.

Statutory rape is a kind of sexual activity that occurs between the perpetrator and a young one who is not up to 18 years old in Nigeria and can't give consent on their own. Child sexual abuse is abusing a child sexually. When it happens between two children where one is older, it's called child-on-child sexual abuse. When it happens between a child and a family member, it's called incest. Spousal rape is when a spouse, usually the man have sex with the other spouse, the woman without her consent. Payback rape is a type of rape that occurs between couples or in relationships as a punishment for what they did.

Rape by deception occurs when the perpetrators deceive the other persons just to gain their trust. For example, a man pretending to be a family doctor visits a sick girl in the house and rape her. Custodial rape is done by one who is in a position or authority and uses such position to rape the victims. Corrective rape is a hate crime against homosexuals. For example, a man rapes a lesbian to make her see why she should embrace a man not a woman. How hilarious could this get?

I sincerely don't understand why rape occurs when people are out there who can willingly give you the sex you want while both of you derive pleasure from it. I don't get it! Is it that people actually enjoy making others feel bad; are heartless; they don't think straight, have lost it or what exactly? Why would you force someone into having sex with you when they actually don't want to? I mean if they say no, walk away! There are people out there who want to have sex as badly as you want to! Why don't you walk up to those people and have sex with them if they give you consent? What do you derive in raping people? Do you love being tagged a rapist?

Somebody would say, 'Latoria, you don't understand. 'Konji is a bastard'!'. That excuse is dumb and it makes you dumb as well. What type of urge are you talking about? Do you just develop such urge when you see the person? Even if you do, don't you have control over your life? You can't exercise control? You can't tame your dick?

I saw a tweet last weekend which read, 'What would you do if your boyfriend accidentally have sex with your best friend?'. How ridiculous! Is there anything like accidental sex which comes willingly from both parties? What kind of crap is that? When you say accidental, you're saying rape because sex is intentional and if it's not intentional, it is rape or other forms of sexual violence. If you don't seek the consent of the person involved, you'd end up abusing them. Why do we promote dumb things? I'd repeat this over and over again, no type of violence is accidental. It's intentional! Sex is not sex when it's accidental and so is rape. However, there is nothing like accidental sex or rape!

Why do perpetrators rape their victims? We'd get to know that in my next post. But before then, could you tell why rapists rape people? Your comment would be appreciated in the comment box.

Comments 9

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Jill Langhus
Jun 11
Jun 11

Hello Latoria,

Thanks for sharing your informative, but also personal post about abuse and rape. I'm sorry that you had personal experiences with abuse. I hear you about what makes people commit these crimes, but it's my understanding that it's usually because they come from an abusive background themselves, and quite possibly, in a lot of cases, that it's passed down from generation to generation, which I believe, in my case, this happened. It becomes a compulsion, then. It's understandable that you are angry about this kind of behavior, especially since you were on the receiving end of it, but it's also very important that you start to heal from it, if you haven't already, so you aren't perpetually hurt and struggling. I'm not saying it's easy, but there are ways to heal. You can PM me, if you would like some strategies for overcoming abuse, or you can also let us know what you would like and need to heal, within the community.

XX

Latoria
Jun 11
Jun 11

Hi, Jill. Thanks so much. I definitely have healed from 'em.

True that. I agree that some abusers come from such abusive backgrounds. However, it's not in all cases and that's what I don't understand. Thanks for your response.

Jill Langhus
Jun 11
Jun 11

Hello dear,

You're very welcome:-) Oh, good. I was worried there.

Well, yes, I would have trouble understanding the rapists/abusers that don't come from abusive backgrounds either. Surely there aren't that many of those, though?!

Hope you're having a good day!

Lisbeth
Jun 11
Jun 11

Oh sorry, it must have not been so easy for you going through this wicked and thoughtless act. May you have the strength to move on.
One good strategies that works is mustering the courage to talk about it. When you talk, you find help and this is exactly what you are doing. Keep speaking up.
Hope you are doing very well? Take care

Tamarack Verrall
Jun 12
Jun 12

Hello Latoria,
Thank you! Thank you for the headline asking such an important question, a question that needs to be answered. And thank you for such a complete description of all of the ways that rape occurs, and such important challenging questions as to what is behind all of this rape. I agree that some rape comes from men repeating what has been done to them, but what seems much more prevalent to me are these two equations: Men proving their manhood by willingness to damage women for the sake of being accepted by other men; and most often and horrifyingly, men who take pleasure in controlling and harming women for their own sense of "manhood". This is reinforced by all of the messages that it is men's right and duty to keep women in control. I hope to see many more men speaking out that this is no "manhood". And to see Governments enact justice for women, to stop this sadistic criminal behaviour.
I look forward to reading more of your important and strong messages, dear sister.

Latoria
Jun 13
Jun 13

Thank you very much, Tam. I believe we have to educate everyone starting with the person close to us on gender-based violence. We should teach men that aggression and violence don't define manhood. We should create an atmosphere where both sexes can be without feeling insecure of what the other sex might do to them...

Hello, Latoria,

I agree that we should stop blaming the victims. I'm sorry you had to go through sexual violence in the past, but I'm glad you are now breaking your silence. Thanks for a comprehensive definition of rape. It's true, this crime is everywhere. It's sad that victims would opt to keep quiet for years because of fear. The suspects should be the one afraid. What do you think is the right punishment for rape? Every time I hear rape on the news esp on girls as young as two-years-old. I would shout, " Kill him!". I'm so enraged I want rapist dead. But that's me. I hope rapists should be very afraid to do this act.

Latoria
Jun 14
Jun 14

Hello, Karen. I have no idea how rapists should be punished. However, I believe that if we stop victim-blaming, rape would drastically reduce and rapists would be scared of involving in that act.

True. :) Hope you’re havinf a great day!