ARE MEN FALSELY ACCUSED OF RAPE?

Latoria
Posted June 18, 2019 from Nigeria

Today, while thinking of what to write, the 'Neymar Rape' saga crossed my mind and I found an interesting topic because some people, men, especially think that is a false accusation. Well, you would be my judge in this case and it would be very good if you follow through to the end.

Research shows that majority of sexual assaults, an estimated 63 percent, are never reported to the police (Rennison, 2002). Studies show also that using qualitative and quantitative analysis, 812 reports of sexual assault from 2000-2003 and found a 2.1 percent rate of false reports (Heenan & Murray 2006). This shows that men are falsely accused of sexual assault.

I believe you all know the story. They met on Instagram and Neymar paid her flight ticket and all of that to Paris where he was at that time. Somebody would say, well, why would she accuse him of rape then? What was she expecting then if not sex? Well, Najila Tridade said she wanted sexual relations with him. They both agreed on sex but not sexual assault.

Remember, any sexual activity done without the consent of the other person is sexual assault. Consent is not assumed because they agreed to have sex before or earlier. Consent is asked every time in relationships and marriage. Plus, sex is not rape! Sex is not aggressively or violently done and the fact that you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol doesn't mean you are wrong for being aggressive or violent.

Aljazeera reported in Neymar's rape case that the woman told police that Neymar arrived at the hotel that night "apparently drunk" and that they talked and "caressed". "However, at some point, Neymar became aggressive, and through violence, practised sexual intercourse against the will of the victim," the police report said. The text also said the woman returned home to Brazil two days later and without filing a complaint with French police because she was "emotionally shaken and afraid to register the facts in another country". I'd use this to discuss why women accuse men of rape.

I'm not saying Najila falsely accused him of rape. No! This story is a case study and I just feel we should discuss why men are falsely accused. A false accusation of rape is reporting rape where no rape has occurred. One of the reasons women falsely accuse men is false memories. Traumatised victims tend to have memories of the rape incident and when they see men who look like the perpetrators, they falsely accuse them.

Kanin (1994) categorised the reasons why women falsely accuse men of rape. He categorised them into revenge, producing an alibi or to get sympathy/attention. Also, they falsely accuse men for material gain or regret. That is, being humiliated and shamed after consensual sex by the same party.

Women who suffer from sexual violence and its effects use false accusation as a way of revenging. They do that because they are hurt and have not healed. It's sad though but since men see it as a means of being in control and power, the women also see it as a means of paying back. Hence, men should stop the cycle! They should stop rape and sexual assault. I mean people are out there who want sex consensually as much as you want it. Rape shouldn't be a means of punishing a girl or woman for something they did to you or showing aggression or dominance!! If this is controlled or eradicated, women wouldn't accuse men falsely for what doesn't exist.

In Neymar's Instagram video, CNN reported that an emotional Neymar contended that his encounter with the accuser was "a relationship between a man and woman, within four walls, something that happens with every couple," but also that he had been set up. "It was a trap, and I ended up falling for it."

I'd say Neymar didn't disagree that he was drunk and had sex with her aggressively. He only was trying to prove that they agreed on sex and that was what she wanted and why she came over. Yes! She wanted sex not aggression or violence! I could imagine how Neymar must have felt there. He was like, 'Really? We both consented on this, hence, you came over. I paid for this and that and now, I can't have sex however I want?'. Ridiculous! If aggression or violence is part of sex, then rape wouldn't be rape but sex! I mean it's logical! However, when aggression and violence are involved which is as a result of lack of consent or showing dominance even in bed due to another motive of the perpetrator, then, that is not sex! It is not sex but attempted rape or rape!

Sex should be enjoyed by both parties. It shouldn't cause the other person pain and pains. Both parties should derive pleasure from the act. When it's only you, it's sexual assault! What now is your say? She falsely accused him of rape? You are the judge! You should judge this.

Men are falsely accused of rape, no doubt! However, both sexes have their parts to play. The males should stop sexual assault while the women should stop accusing them falsely. Until rape decreases or becomes dinosaurs, false accusation of men raping women wouldn't stop because it takes rape to happen before traumatised individuals accuse the wrong persons of rape or hurt persons who choose not to heal use it as vengeance.

Dear women and girls, it's high time you also stopped reporting men falsely of rape as a means of punishment, monetary benefits and the likes. Both sexes really should play their parts. Until then, rape and false accusations of men would be prevalent. The saddest thing is, most victims of rape and its accusations are innocent! Won't you stop the cycle today? How long would innocent people hurt and suffer so much from what they know nothing about? Let's stop this together. Also, know that it begins with you.

This story was submitted in response to International Widows' Day.

Comments 8

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Lisbeth
Jun 18
Jun 18

You are a smart lady oo, you come hers to find answers for your thesis haha :-)! Anyway today you got me, I will give my reasons.
I speak against the motion: ARE MEN FALSELY ACCUSED OF RAPE?. Its not possible, generally women in nature are not the revengeful type's. We respect men very much especially when love is involved. In their case I think it was love for the lady that made her to accept such a trek with him. And nothing is absolutely wrong with that. In business we term it "risk to gain". Who knows maybe things turn out as she expected. But the man rather had a dirty agenda, it was not love for him.
Secondly, been under the control of drugs does not allowed him to rape the lady. Everything of sex without consent is pure rape. Both must agreed that they like to go into such situation together not one sided. And beside under the control of drugs will make it violent. This is pure rape and I agreed with the lady to make a report.
My third point you talked about not reporting instantly. How could she? She was traumatized, something that she thinks was love has turned into hatred. She will have dough, thinking maybe the man will come and apologized so the relationship might continued. But finally she realized it was a willful sin on the man part. She later then gathered the courage to report. So Madam chairperson, I totally disagreed with the motion "ARE MEN FALSELY ACCUSED OF RAPE? Thank you hahaha

Latoria
Jun 20
Jun 20

Hi, Lisbeth. The lady agreed to have sex with him and not love. It was sexual relations and not sexual assault. Lol.

Lol. Men, few not all, are falsely accused of rape or sexual assault. I'm not saying they are many out there. Lol

Lisbeth
Jun 22
Jun 22

I still think there is an among of love... Lol

Lisbeth
Jun 18
Jun 18

Its a repeated post as I can remember. Or maybe am wrong. Waiting for your feedback!

Jill Langhus
Jun 19
Jun 19

Hi Latoria,

Thanks for sharing your thought-provoking post. I was particularly interested in the stats because I wondered what percent of false accusations actually occur, but I didn't realize some of the motives that you mentioned for them, but you are quite right that it wouldn't be a thing if rape wasn't occurring in the first place. This is definitely an interesting, non-straight forward topic because I can see someone being vengeful if they were rubbed the wrong way. I'm not saying I would do it, but I could see that others might. This doesn't mean I condone false accusations in any way, either.

Latoria
Jun 20
Jun 20

Thank you, Jill. I don't condone false accusations either as well. Just stating why men are victims of false accusations.

Jill Langhus
Jun 21
Jun 21

You're welcome, dear. Yes, I understand.

SIMON MUREU
Jun 22
Jun 22

In KAMITI prison of kenya there in ,it is said ther are there for doing nothing