WHY DIDN'T SHE ALLOW HIM TO RAPE HER?

Latoria
Posted July 14, 2019 from Nigeria

There is this robbery case that happened in a particular school last week, and for a while now, it's been the talk of the school. According to the information gathered, some girl jumped off the balcony because one of the robbers told her to remove her underwear. I believe you know what would come out of that. However, she jumped without considering the possible outcomes attached to that act. You think she should have just removed her underwear? She did the right thing by jumping?

I actually was discussing this issue with two of my classmates and one who is a female commended her audacity which prompted her to jump off the balcony which might have led to death or dislocation of bone or something. However, the other person who is a male was surprised. He was like, why did she jump? She could have just allowed him rather than jumping. But the lady disagreed! She was disappointed at his response and was praising her for choosing death over rape.

I actually was surprised at his response though. She should have allowed him? I was less surprised when I remembered what one random person said online. You don't want to know but I'd tell you. He said, 'Why don't you girls enjoy rape as much as we do?'.

Really, some people are not supposed to be called humans. Who enjoys rape? How many times do we have to sound the alarm that rape is not sex and any sexual act done without the consent of the other person is rape? It's sad that we live in a world where rape is considered normal. I mean some boys see rape as normal and violence as sexy. This is wrong! Sex is different from rape.

Most people don't want to have sex because of so many reasons like beliefs, values and personal reasons. Therefore, coercing them to go against their beliefs or values is not consensual. It'd be prudent of you to respect them and their beliefs. Plus, respect should be conferred on anyone irrespective of their sex or age. I think some people don't know the effects of rape on victims and the perpetrators, hence, I'd be talking about it today.

The effects of rape and sexual assault are difficult to scribble down. They are hard to pen because it varies with persons. The consequences of rape can last a lifetime if care is not given to the victims. They span through generations with effects on their health, education, employment, crime and the economic well-being of individuals, families, communities and societies.

Effects of rape on victims range from shock, fear, anxiety, nervousness, guilt, confusion, withdrawal or isolation, distrust to delinquency and running away from home. These are some of the psychological consequences. They differ with persons. Some also suffer from symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder, sleep disorder, eating disorders, dissociative identity disorders and the likes. These disorders are also psychological.

Also, victims are likely to be involved in the wrong use of alcohol or drugs. In quest to forgetting the horrible incident where a man forcefully or violently deflowered them, they abuse drugs and alcohol because they can't get rid of the incident in their heads. It's always coming back. They might also be influenced to join gangs which would only affect them negatively.

For someone who maybe was keeping her virginity for one 'special' dude might have a change of mind after being raped. They might have multiple sex partners, initiate sex all the time or lack emotional commitment in romantic relationships. That is, they don't feel emotionally committed to their partners because they haven't healed.

While some when raped have painful intercourse, their orientation about sex with the opposite sex changes. They feel less attracted to the opposite sex which might lead to homosexuality because they believe sex with the opposite sex is disgusting and painful. They can't be rid the picture of the incident in their heads and that might make them homosexuals.

Apart from painful intercourse, there are other health issues that might result from rape. And yes, I remember a story. I'd like to share. During the recent rape case between Dakolo's wife and Fatoyinbo, a lady spoke up on Twitter. She shared how her younger sister was raped at age 8 by an uncle. She didn't speak up because she was scared of being victimised and restricted from going out and the likes. However, when her elder sister got to know, she was rushed to the hospital for medical check up on her vagina at 14.

The doctor confirmed that she had been suffering from urinary infections right from when that incident happened. And the girl confirmed how she had been seeing some discharge on her underwear and also ignoring the foul smell from her vagina. This is one of the consequences of rape. It's either the victims suffer from urinary infections or uterine fibroids, non-cancerous tumors in muscle wall.

Also, you know STDs can be transmitted from the perpetrators because such sex is not protected. STDs like HIV, genital warts, syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia can be transmitted. The fear of every victim of rape is pregnancy! Since the sperm when released stays in the body for three days before dying, it might fertilise the ovum! It might lead to pregnancy. And you want the survivor to starting nursing a child or children when she hasn't healed or not prepared? You see how unwise some humans are? She still should have allowed him to rape her?

Rape is not enjoyed because it's not consensual. It is forceful and might lead to other complications as seen above. Therefore, it's right you stay away from every rape, attempted rape or sexual assault. Don't force it! Before you have sex, make sure the significant other gives their consent. Thank you for following.

Comments 9

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SIMON MUREU
Jul 15
Jul 15

That girl was to take the brave standing Better die than raped and no otherwise

Jill Langhus
Jul 15
Jul 15

Hi Latoria,

How are you, dear? Thanks for sharing another informative article on sexual abuse, and particularly rape. You bring up a lot of interesting points here. I kept wondering about my sister who was raped and also about all the women who are trafficked. Think of the magnitude of emotional and physical trauma quadrupled:-( This topic seems to really strike a chord for you. I'm glad you are outspoken about it, though, and spreading awareness around it. I hope that you have healed from any past trauma that was inflicted on your, dear?! Please let us know if you need our help....

Latoria
Jul 16
Jul 16

Aww, Jill. Thanks for the offer.

Jill Langhus
Jul 17
Jul 17

You're welcome, dear:-)

XX

Hello, Latoria,

Thanks for updating with your reflections. You are a smart woman. May you continue to speak out and raise awareness!

It’s sad to know that a woman risked her life to avoid being raped. May she rest in peace.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.

Latoria
Jul 16
Jul 16

Hi, Karen. Thank you.

You’re welcome, Latoria!

Lisbeth
Jul 27
Jul 27

Another thought provoking post. What is your view point? Did you agreed with your female colleague? It's sad she loss her life. We're the robbers caught? What has become the outcome of them? I am curious with lots of questions haha.
Great weekend to you.

Anita Shrestha
yesterday
yesterday

Thank u sharing