ARE WOMEN SEXUAL BEINGS?

Latoria
Posted November 9, 2019 from Nigeria

People say, 'men love sex and a larger part of their brains, maybe, 50% thinks, craves for and imagines sex. However, women are not wired like that'. Yes, wired is the word they use. Men are wired to think and enjoy sex and sex alone.' And I'm like, 'Bravo! Thank you so much for feeding us with one of your patriarchal sayings. I mean if sex is good, why then are men wired alone to enjoy such a good thing?'. I used to believe that too until I questioned that statement. And you know what? I found out that all is a lie and partly a truth. How? Follow me.

Imagine boys are brought up the way girls are brought up. Just imagine where boys are taught sexual purity-- not reading, viewing, thinking and practising sex and sexual activities. That is, they should be 'pure', 'holy' and remain virgins for their wives. They are taught not to have sex with or without consent because having sex without consent is rape and not right. They are taught to dress well because their broad shoulders and abs can make a girl rape them and it would be their fault. They are taught not to stay out late because the girls would rape them and it's gonna be their fault. Most importantly, they shouldn't be alone with girls because they would be trapped by the girls and might be raped or sexually abused. Also, the boys are taught that having sex with or without consent might impregnate the girls and stop the boys from achieving their goals because they'd end up as fathers taking responsibilities for the pregnancies. What do you think would happen to the so-called sex who we believe love sex more than the females? Do you think I'm typing trash? Well, don't stop reading yet. Kindly follow me.

Now imagine a girl raised up in the boy's way. No restrictions or limitations whatsoever. She is not taught sexual purity either is she stopped from moving about. She knows and is aware of her sex organ, the vagina. She knows she can't be blamed for having sex or getting pregnant because the boy would be blamed, hence, she has sex with boys to satisfy her sexual urge. She harasses and even abuses the boys because it's a way of deriving fun. She harasses the boys by commenting on how tiny and enormous their sex organ, the penis is or how less or more masculine they appear since they've got no or abs and the likes. Are you imagining? They always have their way because the system favours them... Do you see? Who'd grow to love sex more? The one who is taught sexual purity or the one who is not?

I'm not saying you should not remain a virgin, pure or whatever it is as an individual. No, I'm not! Being a virgin is good since that's your value, belief or everything that matters most to you. However, the sexual purity mentality has deprived most girls of having a great sex life and that's where the lie lies. Men are not 'created' to love sex more than girls. They just tend to be more aware due to their exposure. Do you agree with me that males who are brought up in a very religious home don't also enjoy sex? I mean they just insert and cum right away. No foreplay or whatsoever. And they are the ones who come up with lines like these, ... I never knew my wife loves sex like this. ... What is it? I'm not in the mood. ...I am the man of this house..and I tell you whenever I want sex. ...Woman, I'm busy.

How interesting! To be honest, women want sex. In fact, women love and enjoy sex. Also, most women want to initiate sex but you know, they might seem like a 'prostitute' to their own husbands if they initiate sex, hence, they choose to die in silence. How pathetic! Gender roles and stereotypes have been our sources of wrong information that has become a stronghold in our hearts.

No sex is meant to enjoy sex other than the exposed and that can be anybody. It can be male or female. However, society favours males due to the detrimental stereotype attached to 'sexual purity'. Why don't we preach the same to both sexes? There's a place of knowing your body, that of the male's and how they work as a girl. That doesn't make you impure. It's quite helpful because, by the time the wolf comes in a wolf's clothing or sheep's, you won't be prey easily. You would be a wolf or a lion because you are informed. He's not just coming to feed you with lies like, 'Trust me, I won't go deep... I just won't penetrate much...' And I'm like, 'hey, what the hell is that? What are you saying? You won't go deep because of the hymen or what?...' Those lines are dumb and trust me, men use it when they know you are naive and perhaps, dunno about sex. How can you insert a penis for the fun of it and not penetrate? It's best you and everyone seek knowledge.

I plead with young people to stay informed whenever it comes to sex and sex matters even though they are virgins. Knowledge doesn't deflower you. You can't become deflowered just because you are running after information. This is one thing our religious clerics and folks fail to teach us because it's an abomination. It can't be taught in the church, mosque or the shrine but sexual purity can. I'm not saying is bad. But a balanced sex teaching makes the world a better place.

Are men more sexual than women? Yes, they are. That confirms the partly true answer because they are the more exposed ones and since they are, they seem to be sexually aware and active while the women lie like a log of wood because they don't know that sex is meant to be enjoyed and not just for procreation alone.

Humans are sexual beings. Your level of exposure to information, knowledge and the likes matter a lot. If you're human, you're sexual. And I know you've met women who are sexually active as it were. So, are their brains wired differently? Do they produce testosterone as much as the men produce? Just like in genetics, phenotype equates the genotype and the environment. The environment constitutes everything that has to do with exposure, knowledge and information. Don't be deceived, you are human and a sexual being. Go get the right information!

Thank you for following.

Comments 7

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Jill Langhus
Nov 09
Nov 09

Hi Latoria,

How are you doing? Thanks for sharing another thought-provoking post and for bringing awareness around this socialization issue and discrepancy. I agree with you that if girls and women were socialized differently, life and our sex lives, would be very different than it is now. I think the current, younger female generation is becoming more attuned to their sexual desires, though, at least in some areas of the world. I think it's only a matter of time, albeit a long time, perhaps, that socialization, beliefs, and norms around sexuality will change. It already is.

Lisbeth
Nov 10
Nov 10

Dear Latoria,
Thanks for sharing your thought provoking post. Jill have hammered on most of my points. I hope you have a great Sunday.
Regards

Anita Shrestha
Nov 09
Nov 09

Dear Sister
Thank you for sharing such a amazing things

Max (female!)
Nov 09
Nov 09

Yes, we call this the sexual double standard. Very different rules for males than for females. It is unjust. Every human being has a right to sexual expression, without shaming or repression. We have our work cut out for us!

Spiritedsoul
Nov 09
Nov 09

Hi, wonderful post, completely agree with you. Sexuality should not be frowned on or judged, it is part of being human.
Hugs,
Jess.

Tamarack Verrall
Nov 10
Nov 10

Hi Latoria,
You are such a brilliant and daring writer. As I read I was imagining you being hired to talk with young people throughout your country. You would be opening some important discussion and with a generation able to embrace their sexuality and treat each other with respect.

Beth Lacey
Nov 21
Nov 21

Makes sense