Once upon a time Hope meant despair.



Every human being hopes for something. And that hope builds into expectation and yearning. Hope is meant to keep us living each day with the anticipation that tomorrow will be better, that our lives will change, that the thing we are hoping for will be manifested and we often push, work and struggle in hope of achieving.



Yet, hope can lead to bewilderment and pain and after many dashed expectations I have learned that hope is simply being present in every moment in life. In being present this enable me to live life without expectations but simply live life and work towards making it better. As I hoped for so many things and saw so many good acts which gave me hope yet I struggled to understand hope as it was rarely manifested in my life it was only when I understood what being present means to me then I had a glimpse of what hope means to me.



At a certain period in my life these few lines marred my experiences with hope:



I hope for a better tomorrow, yet each new day brings the pain of the day before.
I hope for a life free of abuse and violence, yet life itself brings violence unexpectedly.
I hope to overcome my pain and traumas, yet pain lingers and trauma has left a life-long mark.
I hope someone can say to me "you are beautiful", yet all I see are my imperfections.
I hope to be accepted and included, yet poverty has eluded me and accepted I am not.
I hope to pursue academic education to stand with authority and speak on things that matter, yet this is a fleeting dream.
I hope for love and to embrace its authenticity, yet love seems to be an undiscovered part of my experience.
I hope for peace so I can live, yet peace runs from me as if I am the creator of war.



Today, I no longer hope, I just live because hope not realized can make one bitter. However, I realized that hope is not that "grand thing which we look for" but hope occurs in small moments of grace. Its in the breath we breathe, the steps we take, the connections we make, the stories we read and the encouragement we give.



Hope is in the resources we share, the meal we purchase for another person, the gifts we receive, and sitting at the bus station and seeing the beautiful sunset. Hope is being present in every moment we breathe.

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