Violence in the Family

Lisbeth
Posted January 11, 2019

The worse and most dangerous violence women experience is family or home violence. Its comes in form of harassment and assaults. Its so dangerous because the aftermath effects are deadly. It makes the victims very insecure and hopeless. I highlighted only three of such in this article. In fact intimate family members like husbands, in-laws, other family relatives turn out to be the perpetrators. One of such violence is widowhood rites in Africa.  Most women whose husband's died are made to go through this act. As part of this rites the widow might not be allowed to go out of the house for almost one year or after. In worst cases some are accused of their husband's death. During the process these innocent women are abuse in the name of tradition and culture. Some heads are shaved to appeased the gods. Some are forced to sleep in same room with the corpses of the husband etc. This is family violence against the woman. 

The other oooh is excommunication of elderly women believed to be witches. In my country we got a place that instead of calling it the elderly home, it'd called the " witches camp". OMG! Who said its only women that are witches? What about the men wizards? These innocent elderly women are condemned and neglected at these so called camp. Their children abandoned them, no care, no love and they end up death.  Well, lately human rights organizations have taken notice of  such barbaric culture and their intervention is making progress. However, the rural villages still practiced it.

 Another violence against the woman in her own family is what I term forced remarry. In some cultures in Ghana a woman whose husband's died Must remarry the dead husband brother. Its believe by doing so all secrets in the family will remained in the new marry if the widow remarried in the family. In some cases this widows are force to remarry even the youngest brother just in the name of traditions.  You can imagine  the consequence of such marriages, lack of love, eventually leading to immorality within the marriages. My own mother was a victim to this rite. After my father died his younger brother was asked to succeed his brother, meaning he will be the new husband for my mother. Even though at that time he already was married with two wives of his own he was so glad to add my mother as the third wife. We were kids but I could see the expression from my mothers face when such news was broke to her. And oh thanks to God she did as she resolved in her heart not to accept such marriage.

Women have to be bold and to decide for themselves what is good for them. Like my mother we all have a choice to make. Nobody has to tell you what to do. You should and must know what is best for you. People can always advice us, good or bad but we will have to dance to the sound of the drums. So if the music does cannot fit our moves we have to let the drummers know about it.

This is not haughty or arrogant character. Its freeness of speak. In bible times we saw such boldness in Sarah the wife of Abram also know as Abraham. As a righteous man before God. God promised to make Abraham the father of all nations, however at age 90 his wife Sarah was still a barren woman. How could this promised be realize? Out of love, Sarah suggested to his Husband Abraham to go to bed with one of her maidservant. Its was difficult for Sarah but she will not forgo the promises of God only for her selfish interest. At this, Abraham hesitated, however God cautioned him to listened to her wife Sarah and do as she says, Abraham did just so!

My Point is women we got to be bold and speak out, even God sometimes is with us if we take the right decision.

We have to speak out and stop acting desperately. God is with you, he valued you even when humans dejects you. Isn't God much better ally than humans? Do not be afraid he says I am with you.

Please if you are a woman and reading this article today, I am challenging you to come out of your pain. Tell your story to a friend, a neighbour, co- worker, to your boss at work. If it requires you write about it please do.  Do not keep it inside. A lot are out there wanting to give you a helping hand, but how can they help if they have not heard your story. My World Pulse sister keep writing, especially about issues, social issues, culture, traditions etc. Its a 21st century we lived in, nobody have the right to beat you, shaved your most treasure (your hair). We all know how women invest and valued their hair only suddenly one day your husband died and in the name of tradition and culture you will shaved that investment you valued.  This must stop. World pulse is my mouth piece and I challenge you to publish this story for the world to know after all you are a WORLD PULSE!

 

 

This story was submitted in response to A World Free of Violence.

Comments 10

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Jill Langhus
Jan 12
Jan 12

Hi Lizzy,

How are you doing, dear? Thanks for sharing your heartfelt and intimate account of how widows are treated in your country. That really is horrible. I'm glad the government is finally addressing some of these antiquated and harmful traditions, and that your mom didn't just go along with what she was expected to do! I love the last paragraph encouraging fellow sisters to speak up, too...it's really sweet and heartfelt:-)

I hope you are doing well, and good luck with your story submission!

Lisbeth
Jan 12
Jan 12

Hi sis. Jill,
Its been a while actually. I am managing and always you know i keep going strong not giving up :-)Ha.
Its terrible especially about the "witches camp" thing I hate to hear when they say witches and not witches and wizards. That is pure discriminatory! Ooh not the government as such but human rights organizations, thanks to the media for their excellent works.
My mother I am always proud of her. If I pick up her boldness I bet you I will survive every storm. I am so proud of her.
Yes, I spoke out of passion and I am glad you notice it. Thanks and I hope you are having a nice day!

Jill Langhus
Jan 13
Jan 13

Hello there:-)

Yes! I agree the camps are horrible. So, the government isn't doing anything to help widows and equal rights?

Yes, your mom sounds like an excellent role model, for sure.

You're welcome. Yes, thanks. Hope you are too?!

Lisbeth
Jan 13
Jan 13

Not much as must be expected :-( . the NGO s are more active with other human rights org.
Thanks

Jill Langhus
Jan 14
Jan 14

Oh:-( I hope that changes in the near future, but I'm glad that there are some NGOs making up for some of the holes.

Beth Lacey
Jun 14
Jun 14

Wise advice

Lisbeth
Jun 14
Jun 14

Thank you Ma'am!

Anita Shrestha
Oct 05
Oct 05

Dear Lisbeth
You are so strong and strong woman.

Lisbeth
Oct 05
Oct 05

Dear Anita,
Thanks for the commendation. Praise to God.
Have a great weekend.
Regards

Anita Shrestha
Oct 05
Oct 05

HI Lisbeth
Welcome my dear. Be happy always.