VOF Week 2: (Beyond Coping)

Blogging is like diving into unfamiliar waters. You will not know what you will meet while going down to the bottom. It feels exciting and at the same scary .
I started blogging just a month ago, having been introduced to it by a colleague whose help I am enlisting. I have created several accounts in three sites.
Finding time to blog is a challenge for me. Blogging is something that I have do on the side, having to juggle my time between works, family tasks and my other commitments. You see I am working as a board member in two NGOs while working for two employers. My first boss is a rising political leader who will be running for a senatorial seat while my other boss is my brother who asked me to oversee our family business.
With a demanding schedule, I cannot visit my Pulsewire account nor to my other blog accounts as frequently as I wanted. With many tasks to get done everyday, I have very little time to think through of my entry for my journal. It’s like writing in a hurry. And lack of time to write also affects the quality of my blog.
Another challenge in blogging is how to write from a personal point of view, without revealing too much of my self. I am also affected by the news of many killings happening in Mindanao. Many activists receive threats. In the past, my family was harassed by unidentified men who claimed that they are state intelligence people. My friends worry about my safety. All these have a chilling effect on me.
Some of the topics I want to write about because I feel strongly about them, are controversial. The extra judicial killings. The Catholic Church interference in the family planning program. Mining activities encroaching ancestral domain lands. How do I keep true to my calling while making sure that me and my family are safe?
I used to be very brave and daring in my younger days. But things changed when I became a single parent. Now, I am responsible for two young lives who depend so much on me.
I need to review my commitments. I need time to reflect what do I want to focus on at this particular phase of my life. I must focus on first things first.
I need to know how to blog anonymously. So that for controversial issues, I can blog about them anonymously.
My decision to apply as PulseWire correspondent is my way of struggling against the fear. I cannot allow myself to be silenced by fear.
I also plan to broaden my support system. I need to build friendships with women who live similar fates or even worse than mine. I know I can learn so much from their courage, commitment and work. With PulseWire, its like stepping into a virtual home, where there is so much encouragement, support and ideas to keep me going with my vision and work in life.