How does depression feel's

Maggiewachera93
Posted March 20, 2021 from Kenya

Over here in Africa it's almost a taboo to say you are depressed.when you say you are depressed people actually believe you are insane and have completely loosed you mind. 

You see whenever you meet me out there am usually a bubbly person, I talk alot and smile and you can easily think am an ever happy person and my life is just great. 

Over now close to an year, I have literally been struggling with my past trauma, the people who are so close to me have caused me so much pain (family.i wouldn't even finish to write this if I explain the ordeals I have gone through..All this made me look for Love in the wrong place's  and that person ended up causing me so much pain. Luckily I left alive with my supper amazing Lil boy that am so proud of.

It's the nights I feel so much pain, the mornings I  struggle to get out of bed, it's me socking my pillows at night coz I have so much anxiety and panic attacks, it's me coming home at night and I just don't even want to switch on the light's. It's me whenever I look at someone death new's I say to my self she is finally free from pain and I wish that's me but then I remember about my son and I don't want him to suffer all alone in this world without me. 

I get up one more time to try for him. 

It's going to my new business and feeling like things will never work out.

I hope I wake up one day free from pain. 

Am grateful for the admins creating this platform. Sometimes it's better to open up to strangers than people who know you because they end up with something to talk about to everyone about you. 

 

Comments 8

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Susu Mohamed
Mar 20
Mar 20

Dear Maggie,
How are you and your little boy.
I read your story, My sister this world you see everything positive and negative painful and happiness.stay away from negative people's,educate your self take care and the boy. If you are feeling body pain its good to visit the doctor every problem have way out.dont lose your self for thinking. Think positive site.read story books and wp sisters story it will support you.
Much love
Suu

Maggiewachera93
Mar 20
Mar 20

Oooh yes.
It took me a lot to share this story.. Thank you so much for the encouragement
Women supporting fellow women

Busayo Obisakin
Mar 20
Mar 20

Dear Sister
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, for trusting us your sisters here with your story. I honour your gesture! I want to say that you are great woman, a great mother and a wonderful sister. You deserve to live my dear for yourself, for your son, you have each other and the universe is supporting you. Feel our Love from 190 countries of the world, feel our strength and keep moving on Sis
Love
Busayo

Nini Mappo
Mar 21
Mar 21

Hello Maggie,
Welcome to World Pulse. Here, you will always have sisters to share with. Here, you can turn on the lights, and we will see you, and embrace you, and walk with you, and hug you with words as much as we can, and pray that healing comes in full.

I celebrate every day you have chosen life over death, every day you have chosen hope over despair. Please keep choosing that every day, and we are here to cheer you on. Also, do turn on the lights, see how beautiful you are. Turn on the lights inside your heart and mind too, and see how resilient you are, how kind-hearted and loving, how, gentle and sensitive, and therefore how caring. Find something to celebrate everyday.. getting to work safe for example.. and smile at the sun for an extra second every day, let that growing smile expand your heart until joy can grow inside again.

I wish you joy like a river. May the joy of the Lord become your strength, until you have straightened you back, and walk with a confident gaze. Because girl, you are alive, so live! And when the days get hard, please come and talk to your sisters here.

Sending you hugs and sparkles of joy :)

Paulina Nayra
Mar 21
Mar 21

Dear Maggie,
It is not easy to get up when we are hurting and faced with problems one after the other. With faith that God has a better plan for us, then we just have to trust in Him/Her. Your dreams for your son will keep you going. And don't forget to take care of yourself, too.
Huggs.

Maggiewachera93
Mar 21
Mar 21

Thank you Ladies for all your overwhelming and positive encouragement.. Am so humbled by all you.... ❤❤

otahelp
Apr 17
Apr 17

Dear Maggi, you are in a very safe platform to shout, cry and scream and you will always have a shoulder to cry on. All WP sisters are offering their shoulder. so go ahead and share your inner most thoughts and feelings and you will be safe. thank you for your daily struggles, you will surely make it.

Thelma obani 2020
Apr 28
Apr 28

My people perish for lack of knowledge.
In Nigeria we say no to negative vibes or energy. Stay strong dear, you are loved always.