SHARING THESAME ROOM WITH MY CO-WIFE

Mariatu Lawan
Posted August 20, 2017 from Cameroon

This was one ofthe disgusting thing that have happen to me and a horrible thing that can happen to any woman ,you can't imagine theemotional trauma I have been in, sharing not only myhusband but a room as with your co-wife.

why should a man in his right sences decideto make two womenshare a room, is that not a violation of the right of a woman how can I share this story with my family and friends, is my heart make up of stone or why are the feeling of women never put into consideration how did I found myself in this situation.

We had travel to tchad I though it was for us to spent the holidays even if itwas not sowhy should he not have prepare for the journey it was later that I came to know that we are going there to be enrolled in an Islamic school toincrease our knowledge on Islamic studies, we arrivedtchad at about 4pm after spending two days on the way,we had a lot of difficulties because it was during the period of BokoHaram and their destructive activities ,we were strangers it was not easy to get a room to let every one was afraid of strangers, fortunatelywe saw a man who decide to help us with a roomfor 20,000frs. That same day we went to the market to buy few items for the house such as mat's, pots and spoons. we had no mattress we were to sleep on the mat it was not easy as I was with my son, we separated the room with a bed shit, i was on oneside and the other woman on the other side.

That night was the longest night of my life he was to spent the night with my co-wife, it painful when you share your husband but is a torture when youthesame room I could not sleep I was on my side of the room but my mind was elsewhere, the night was like a whole year for me my heart was bleeding with pains, does this means that I was brought here to be humiliated.

The next day I made break fast for every body and together we had to go find admission and start classes the following day, I start having misunderstanding with her when I was given money to buy foodstuffs for the house we went to the market together I needed to buy my rubbing oil because I had not bring mine but surprising when we came back to the house she told my husband that I had use the money for foodstufffor my personal use how can I have a problem with my husband in a strange land it took time before he could forgive me but the funny thing was that when ever am fine with my husband she becomes jealous for her is better we always quarrel so that she will be the favouriteshedid terrible things just to seperate me from my husband she was a small girl but hot like pepperI was always given the blame since I was elder to her she was just 15years.

One Friday our husband came back very early since he was doing his part time job i wasabout to inform him that his wife was no were to be found but he told me that she was at the job side asking for money and when he refused she heldhim on the neck and said he most give her the money, she came back late at night she was ask were she wentto but she remain quiet he was force to called her mother to inform her of what her daughter have beendoing but unfortunately for me shesaid i was the evil spirit which was disturbing her I had no one but my little boy who was my comfort, the aimed of us going to tchad was put aside because we had to focus on her getting well, each day the situation worsen and we had to come back to Douala I pray to God for her recovery just so that i willbe vindicated, despite my predicament I knew that one day I will pass through, we fight almost every day despite the fact that she was sick for me it was just a pretend I could not support I had to leave the housealthough at the end I went back to my parent place two week later she too was driven away i have live a life full of up and down but I never gave up for I knew better thing are one the way.

There are millions ofwomen who are face with emotional trauma without no one to share their pains.

We all have a vision and let no one to discourage you

How to Get Involved

Girls like us have witness a lot in life but we were strong enough to pass through but many of us will give up we should put hands together and put smile on the faces of women by sharing their problems and training them on women empowerment

This story was submitted in response to Share On Any Topic.

Comments 27

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Nakinti
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 21, 2017

Dear Mariatu,

I am so proud of the courage that you have. I am so happy at the steps you have taken to overcome your adversaries. Continue to focus on your vision for your life and that of others, and trust me, God will see you through.

I am sending you love, from my heart, from Bamenda

Nakinti

Mariatu Lawan
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 21, 2017

Thanks madam Nakinti for the love and the word of encouragement am more inspire because there are people who are always there to read my story

Abiodun Essiet
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 21, 2017

Thanks for sharing...I can feel your pain because I grew up in a polygamy family with four wives..don't allow what other people are doing to you to affect your joy ..it can be stressful sometimes...believe in yourself and keep your spirit high...don't let your son see the bad side of the family issues...always showing him something good in every bad situation..it will help preserve his future ...love from my heart to you...

Mariatu Lawan
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 21, 2017

Hello real lady am happy you read my story but the unfortunate situation was that at the end I was driven from the house and my son was taking away from me but my vision is stronger that my challenges

Sally maforchi Mboumien
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 21, 2017

Hello Mariatu thank you for finding us on this platform worthy of sharing your challenging and dehumanising experience with us. Congratulations for being this courageous in such situations. I t is a pity that our customs and tradition discriminates seriously on women. Juat like you were considered the cause for any problem in the house so too are other women i polygamous marriage. Men in our community are always right so they say though many can't differentiate their left from their right when it comes to heading a family.

Now as an "ex-convict" like our sister Clodine wrote in her article who is now out of this inhuman dominance from men what are your plans to liberate others still in the prison cells of male dominance? Hope is doing good. Don't ever let others or customs put you down like a slave. You are a strong woman!!!!! Continue in your vision until you leave this world better than you met it.

In true sisterhood

Mariatu Lawan
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 21, 2017

Hi madam sally thanke for your comment there are millions of women who are going through marital torture without no one to listern to them what I can only do is to sensitise them on the importance of empowerment and to be independent without relaying on a man

Sophie Ngassa
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 21, 2017

Dear Mariatu, I am so happy that you found this platform where you can express your self freely and find others who will encourage you. You are a very brave and kind hearted woman. Sorry that you went through a lot of challenges.Stay strong and keep on sharing.

Mariatu Lawan
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 21, 2017

Hi Sophie is a pleasure for me to share my story with outstanding women like you all it was not easy to share this story as I had keep it in my heart for so long world pulse have given me the opportunity to relief myself from a huge burden thanks again once more

Clodine Mbuli Shei
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 21, 2017

Dear Sister,

Courage for speaking out. Only brave women can do this. Sorry about this. Remember challenges empower us and enables us to move on. 

Please ex-convicts liberate others

Mariatu Lawan
Aug 22, 2017
Aug 22, 2017

Hello clodine the story becomes more interesting when there are women like you to read and sent love thanks

Chi Karen
Aug 22, 2017
Aug 22, 2017

Hi Mariatu your story is so touching and exist even in courtship but remember what doesn't kill you makes you stronger thanks for sharing your story.

Sending u love

Mariatu Lawan
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 23, 2017

Hello caren thanks for reading and commenting on my post there are millions of women who are each day being violated this is the time to put a stop so that our children, our sisters and mothers will be free from this torture

Aug 22, 2017
Aug 22, 2017
This comment has been removed by the commenter or a moderator.
Jessica Foumena
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 23, 2017

Hello Sis Mariatu

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm sorry you went through this. You are a courageous woman with a  bright future. Don't give up. 

Mariatu Lawan
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 23, 2017

Thanks sister Jessica for always having the time to read my story each day I become more inspire to share my life experience became there are strong women like you who give hope for a better future with the word of encouragement

Jessica Foumena
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 23, 2017

You're welcome Sis Mariatu. Your story is inspiring other women like me to persevere. 

Gisele Beer
Sep 02, 2017
Sep 02, 2017

Mariatu.ashia ma sister. U are a brave woman indeed. The story is so sad to hear but u turned ur lemon to lemonade.cheers!!!

Mariatu Lawan
Sep 02, 2017
Sep 02, 2017

Hi Beer thanks for reading my story and the word of encouragement as women we should always be strong for what ever we are facing, challenges can easily put you down if care is not taking.

Jackie Lidubwi
Sep 06, 2017
Sep 06, 2017

You are a brave, strong woman, greatness is your portion my dear sister

Mariatu Lawan
Sep 06, 2017
Sep 06, 2017

Hi Jackie reading my story mean a lot to me thanks for the courage

Urmila Chanam
Sep 22, 2017
Sep 22, 2017

Dear Mariatu,

I was in pain while reading your story because it is extremely painful for a woman to share her man and vice versa and in your case, you were made to live along with her in the same house! My sister- this situation is not good for your happiness, development and even safety. The second woman can lie and distort facts and cause constant conflict and stress for you. Please protect your son from such an environment. Can you talk to your husband and draw attention to the harmful effects of these daily fights on your son and negotiate that you live away from the woman?

Much love and prayers,

Urmila Chanam

Mariatu Lawan
Sep 22, 2017
Sep 22, 2017

Hi urmila thanks for reading my story and the word of encouragement but the unfortunate thing was that i was driven out of the house and my son seize from me.

Laura Baptista
Sep 25, 2017
Sep 25, 2017

Dear Mariatu, 

Your story has touched me deeply. I hope you can find peace and happiness in your life.

I am sad to read that you are apart from your son. What can be done so that you can be together again?

For now all I can say is be strong, be smart and follow your heart. You will get through this. 

Love

Laura.

Mariatu Lawan
Sep 26, 2017
Sep 26, 2017

Hi laura thank for reading my story and for the word of encouragement I have already pass through many difficult challenges in life what is left now is to see how are friends and sisters will not go through this kind of violation

Sister Zeph
Sep 26, 2017
Sep 26, 2017

Dear Sister 

I am sorry you had to go through such a pain. in our countries it is common that women fight with each other for a man because women are taught since childhood that a man is a center for their lives.therefor women suffer all life. But you are a very strong woman , I wish we can ban one day child marriage in the whole world so that no girl has to get married at age of 15 when she cannot understand real mining of a marriage 

Mariatu Lawan
Sep 26, 2017
Sep 26, 2017

Sister zeph thanks for reading my story and for the word of encouragement.

maeann
Oct 30, 2017
Oct 30, 2017

Dear Mariatu,

How are you?  I hope you are doing well.  Thank you for sharing.  

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