Initiative Update

I attempted suicide and 11 years later I live productively with PTSD

Marie Abanga
Posted September 10, 2020 from Cameroon

Commemorating World Suicide Prevention day 2020: 11 years on

#worldsuicidepreventionday! I attempted suicide in 2009 and in 2014 I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is a mental illness but am not letting that diagnosis keep me down.

Back to that February 2009, I was fed up with life, stuck in an abusive marriage I couldn't see a way out of all that. I depressingly  thought taking my own life although 5 months pregnant at the time was going to be the best solution to my misery.

But; that baby kicked me in my womb as I lifted that knife, God told me it wasn't worth it. That I could leave to live and there was still so much I had to do in the world for me, mine and humanity.

I left my marriage in 2011 and left my country same day after a 6 years abusive marriage. I left my three sons behind but I knew he wasn't going to harm them because he got so much ego and would try to be a good Father now to show the world I was the but.  I was away for four years, and then like a phoenix I rose and was ready.

I came back in 2015 that strong  woman he can't even look at again not to mention abuse in any form. Am not in any committed relationship again cause am careful.

I share my story unreservedly to raise awareness, sensitze and advocate for a more compassionate world.

#notodomesticabuse #Mentalhealthmatters #depressionisrealpeople #attitudeofgratitude #IamMAGhttps://www.instagram.com/p/CE8i9Dth-MU/?igshid=auiqois8ytky

How many people have you impacted since your last update?

1000

Comments 10

Log in or register to post comments
Andrace
Sep 10
Sep 10

Hi Marie,
You are so awesome. Thank you for your service. You are a blessing to generations and thank God you are alive to tell the story. I'm glad you are my sister.

Please, keep being the powerful change-maker that you are.

Love and hugs,
E. J.

Marie Abanga
Sep 20
Sep 20

Dear EJ,

Thank you so much my sister

Nini Mappo
Sep 10
Sep 10

Keep rising, Marie. Your ashes transformed into beauty, sprouted life, and sheltered others too through your growing impact. Your story is inspiring. Thank you for sharing.

Marie Abanga
Sep 20
Sep 20

Dear Mimi,
Your words have healing and motivating power, keep them flowing.
Thank you so much

Hello, Marie,

You are a beacon of hope for women with suffering GBV. If you're able to rise up from the ashes, they will do, too. Please keep sharing your story. I'm so glad God used that baby to kick your womb. What an intervention! Hugs.

I was suicidal, too. Growing up as a Christian, it was the concept of hell that prevented me to take my own life. But my mind has a list of hundred ways to die. I recently discovered that the bouts of depression I have is a symptom of Complex-PTSD, a series of traumatic events that began in childhood. Thank you for speaking up and spreading awareness!

Marie Abanga
Sep 20
Sep 20

Dear Kaye,

Oh my sister it's all so soul. Recently at a suicide prevention I thought about how it's my 5 months old baby in my womb who did the divine prevention lol.
All my light and love
I am here and you are more than that CPTSD so just remember this always

Aga
Sep 11
Sep 11

I can't stop my tears. Dear marie you are stronger, i admire your courage. Rise and shine sister. Much blessings.

Marie Abanga
Sep 20
Sep 20

Oh dear Sabine,

Merci, Thank you, Asante, Nkongte all to say thank you very much my sister

Shirin Dalaki
Sep 12
Sep 12

Hello Marie,

Thank you for your bravery and encouragement and I agree with you, "That I could leave to live and there was still so much I had to do in the world for me, mine and humanity." so true and thank you for expressing this truth. You are a gift from God and so unique and have so much potential.
I am sorry for what you went through, it must have felt painful ...
I am happy that you found your way and that you are an advocate for awareness and a more compassionate world. I applaud you and admire the strong woman in you.

Shirin

Marie Abanga
Sep 20
Sep 20

Dear Shirn,

Thank you so much. You write it all soulfully, I salute you too
Light and love
Marie