Initiative Update

Practicing what I preach as a caregiver to my own sister

Marie Abanga
Posted January 20, 2021 from Cameroon

My eldest sister who is 50 years old suffered a nervous breakdown over a month ago and no one told me. Probably something to do with stigma of shame? I don't know and I am not going to go there right now. 

Our dad was the one who finally told me when all soothsaying and spiritual casting devil out efforts had failed and she was regressing pretty fast. The hallucinations were now daily, she heard voices and spoke only with those people, stopped bathing and eating and would take off for hours.

First things first, get her sedated. She would not let anyone take her to a psychiatrist and so I got my dad and neice and nephew to tell her she was coming to me for help. We love each other and I don't consider her a step anything. She is a nurse who was there when I had my second son and when our kids sister was so sick and etc etc.

I decided to announce it to the world so there is no shame or secrecy to worry about, and that no stigma is allowed to thrive.

I also put in a place a caregiver plan and created a WhatsApp group of 5 although it's mainly myself, her daughter and son who are in this city and can give her care support. I also got my dad to agree to come in today from his own city to visit with her some and am the general coordinator especially with the medical personnel here where I worked briefly in 2019.

She will be ok and I known the bigger part of the work is in all the psychotherapy work we will do once she leaves this place and is greatly rested.

In all, am taking excellent care of myself and making sure my neice and nephew do same. We can't give her what we don't have, and we need all the energy we can get from good food and fruits.

I keep working out and dancing, and treat both of us with so much compassion.

I have equally received a lot of support especially from fellow World Pulse Ambassadors to whom I first shared the dilemma asking for prayers. I am so grateful.

Please dear caregiver, take care of yourself in the process and reach out for help too. There is no mystery or stigma you should be worried or concerned about... that's how am practicing what I preach in this very soul case.

 

 

 

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Comments 14

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Nini Mappo
Jan 20
Jan 20

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister, Marie:/
Good on you for stepping in to journey with her through comprehension of her situation and healing and recovery. It is good that she has you to support her, because many family members would shy away or not really know what to do or think it might be 'catchy' etc...so many theories on mental illness.
May the God of peace saturate her mind and body with peace, and give you all power, joy, and wisdom as you look after her. Praying for swift healing for her.

Marie Abanga
Jan 21
Jan 21

Dear Nini,

Thank you so so much. I join my voice to your prayers and say AMEN

Jill Langhus
Jan 20
Jan 20

Aw, poor thing. I do hope she gets better soon. Thank goodness you're all there to bring her back to health. XX

Marie Abanga
Jan 21
Jan 21

Dear Jill,

Thank you so much. Indeed am so grateful I have been able rally all to be on her case and care.

Jill Langhus
Jan 22
Jan 22

You're very welcome.

rebecca.tang
Jan 20
Jan 20

Thank you for sharing. Hope you sister will recover soon. Everyone needs to work together to remove the bias and help the sickness people to have proper medical treatment.
May Almighty God bless you, your sister and your family!

Marie Abanga
Jan 21
Jan 21

Dear Rebecca,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. Indeed there is hope
Warm regards always
Marie

I pray for healing and recovery for your dear sister, Marie. I know there is hope. You were prepared for this, dear. Sending hugs to you, and more hugs to your sister.

Marie Abanga
Jan 24
Jan 24

Dear Kaye,

Thank you. You know better than I can ever do how 'taxing' caregiving is. I honestly draw strength from my online family especially World Pulse. It's a heavy moment for me with so much to do and submissions for work and school and am almost stuck trying to find a balance.
There is hope though,
I really appreciate

Hugs, dear. You are a strong woman. Another book will be birthed from you after this experience. Sending hugs!

Barry
Jan 22
Jan 22

Dear Marie, I love your optimism concerning her health. I do believe she would get better with the constant love and compassion shown to her everyday. I hope you are doing good because sometimes seeing a loved one in such a state could be disheartening. Please take good care of yourself. May God grant you and your family Good Health and Long Life :D

Marie Abanga
Jan 24
Jan 24

Dear Barry sis,
Thank you so much
I really appreciate the solidarity and empathy and sympathy too
I need them for her and for myself
There is hope and am doing my best

Tamarack Verrall
Jan 23
Jan 23

Dear Marie,
Sending love to you and your sister, hoping she is finding her way to heal, and that she feels your loving energy. As always your deep love shines through your words and your actions, along with wise messages to us all on taking care of ourselves while we continue. Your openness about how you take care of yourself and make sure your family members know how to as well through such difficult times, helps us all, reminding us to be as careful and caring toward ourselves.
Without our own health, we can't do much. You are an inspiration. May your sister find the strength and peace to get through this.

Marie Abanga
Jan 24
Jan 24

Dear Tam,

Thank you. What would I have done if I didn't belong to World Pulse in such a trying moment like this? I am so grateful for all the love I have been receiving since deciding to share this all with my online family. Sometimes saying 'I wish' isn't helpful, but I hope my family hereafter takes all I preach seriously. I am currently struggling too to find a balance with my office and school work and caregiving runs (am the most adult caregiver on the ground who can make any decisions etc) but I keep breathing and releasing and reminding myself there is hope.
Light and love always