One of those days when a mother's heart is nearly ripped apart

Marie Abanga
Posted February 25, 2019 from Cameroon

I could never imagine my own son could have the courage to shoplift. Here below is a write up I shared on Facebook about the devastating events

Loving him tough all the way to the police station and more (20.02.19)

Sometimes all the love you show can't stop the child from deliquescence. Tough love becomes very necessary the earlier the better.

It was thanks to another major delinquency at home, the hiding of his brother's phone to supposedly punish the later, that everything came to light.

The chocolates he had been stealing from Carefour market (a super market not too far from home), the oufer and headset.

I had to take them to the police station this morning and write a formal complaint because this morning even after the phone was discovered thanks to its alarm, he denied taking the phone.

After the police station, I brought him with the stolen things first to Carefour Market and then to Mahima (another super market) where he stole 2 body sprays.

It is never easy especially to realize all the love and efforts you show can still have such traumatic cracks.

But, I decided to show such extreme tough love now and not later. The security head at both shops took his statement and talked to him very sternly; he is also forbidden from entering those shops again. I had to pay for all the items stolen close to 20.000frs, they didn't put penalties because I brought him myself.

He says he was seeing his friends with goodies in school and wanted his. When he stole once and wasn't caught he felt comfortable doing it again and again from the two supermarkets.

Lord help us parents' especially single parents.

Sadly, when I called his dad he told me it was my cup of tea. I refuse to play the blame game nor look at where the genetic predisposition could be coming from tschuippppp. I equally refuse to care about reputation and blablabla

Some Takeaways from my son's shoplifting saga:1) Some children do shoplift not out of lack but peer pressure 2) Some parents may cover their children up out of pride, but not me o 3) prayers work. The shop had his file ready to take to his school, they had already noticed him in his school uniform 3 times. He has shoplifted a total of 6 times in one shop and 2 times in another shop 4) Our most quiet may be the most smooth mischief 5) Sibling issues can be solved by them in the most vicious way we can imagine (cold bloodedly hiding his brother's phone out of the house under a stone, and swearing heaven and hell he knows nothing about the whereabouts of the phone) 6) Thant I indeed love him unconditionally 7) That some still care even if you don't talk all year round, I was so moved and feel so blessed o Amen

All is well now, I mean that same evening we all gathered for our healing circle and the matter was laid to rest as we broke bread together to put it so.

Comments 11

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Arya
Feb 25
Feb 25

Moms are the best gift of God, they are superwomen! Love your spirit& kindness to ur son!

Marie Abanga
Feb 26
Feb 26

Dear Arya,

Amen and thank you. We sure are trying our best all the way

Jill Langhus
Feb 25
Feb 25

Hi Marie,

Thanks for sharing your inspiring, parenting message. Well, I'm inspired by how you handled the situation.

Hope you're having a great day:-)

Marie Abanga
Feb 26
Feb 26

Dear Jill,

Thank you, sharing with my sisters always my pleasure. Thanks always for checking, I am having a calm one

Jill Langhus
Feb 27
Feb 27

You're welcome, dear:) Hope you're still having a good, and calm day!

Sis. Salifu
Feb 25
Feb 25

Dear Marie,
Sorry but I can't stop laughing when I came across this your sentence "I refuse to play the blame game nor look at where the genetic predisposition..."

Haha genetic predisposition is the answer. Anyway I get why you should over look it.

I commend you for the action you took. Its a great parental example and same time you safe him from charges, well done.

Thanks for sharing. You can always do your best and leave the rest to God.

Marie Abanga
Feb 26
Feb 26

Dear Sis,

Hahaha, I wrote that funny line as a psychologist but also as my little way to get back at him hahaha

Yes, I am grateful to God for the grace and serenity + discernment. I have so far noticed so much change in my son's attitude and I am so grateful

Hello, Sister Marie,

While reading your post, I am also thinking about my two little boys now. Whew.

You’re one tough mama. And brave, too! Kudos to you for teaching your son about accountability!

I’m curious with the “healing circle". How do you conduct this? Is this more of asking questions? Or do you wait for them to open up?

Thank you for sharing! This will help a lot of mothers.

Marie Abanga
Feb 26
Feb 26

Dear Karen,

Thanks for appreciating. The healing circle is us all sitting round the table and talking about all that happened and how it was handled. Each person then took turns to tell him what they loved about him, and also their little piece of advice for him. At the end, we all prayed and ate together Amen.
Be inspired and motivated in your parenting journey sis

Wow, this is a good practice at home where love abounds! Thank you, Sis Marie. Hope all is well with you and your family!:)

Marie Abanga
Mar 01
Mar 01

Dear Karen,

All is well thank you. Love is the most important ingredient for me in my life, so I seek all ways to live and give just that before anything else Amen. Stay happy and healthy too sis